Haha...I just think it's kinda funny to publicly announce that you're going to privately message someone! :nod: But I'm sure that Miss Ruby appreciates all the support!Hi there,
Sent u a pm
Would like some opinions/advice from those with girfriends/wives
- Thread starter rubytuesday
- Start date
Lol, I know but as she is new she may not sign in or have notifications as to messages. Sometimes I don't sign in and never look in my inbox.
Yeah, I knew that!
Back in the early days, before I knew the rules around here, I kept doing things that got me banned! So I got in the habit of checking my notifications when I first sign on, before I check the news! :nod:
I was married did that scene it wasnt for me, sex when she wanted it not always when i wanted. Also there was a the idea that i was going to have to eat at the same place for the rest of mylife, i seen lots of sp's when i was married and it kept me home for a while tell i said fuck it. though in the past 7 years i have only seen 2 sp's. If your husband is a sloppy fucker maybe he wants to get caught i dont know but if he has broken your trust your never going to get over that i guess im saying if you didnt know it wouldnt hurt but you know that your husband is paying for sex with your grocery money so it's up to you forgive and forget or open up the flood gates and go get some dick on the side too.
@sleepmonger: Thanks for clarifying. I think/hope most parents want to defend their parenting knowing that deep down, they are not as perfect as they wish they were, but trying their hardest!
@Toon: Introspection is always good thing. I know how difficult it is to think things all the way through. Sometimes people learn this the hard way <--I'm alluding to myself in other circumstances I've experienced.
@cuteangie:
@PlayfulAlex: Yes, I definitely do appreciate all of the support!
@strawberry: I have quite a few messages in my inbox and hopefully will get around to them all soon. Sorry for the wait!
@Toon: Introspection is always good thing. I know how difficult it is to think things all the way through. Sometimes people learn this the hard way <--I'm alluding to myself in other circumstances I've experienced.
@cuteangie:
Yup, you definitely bring a valid point that I haven't touched too much on in this thread because my focus in this thread was the topic of his visiting SPs. I would not go to PERB to discuss my parenting and my self-growth, though I'm sure it could be an appropriate avenue for some people. In any case, what you've said does make sense and I know -it is a very large focus in my life. I do work on this and have been for a long time. Thanks.
@PlayfulAlex: Yes, I definitely do appreciate all of the support!
@strawberry: I have quite a few messages in my inbox and hopefully will get around to them all soon. Sorry for the wait!
I don't exactly think that "pooning well" has been the origin of Hatrick's relative fame around here.
Hatricks post's from when he joined here about the same time as me are legendary, he always made me laugh
Originally Posted by cuteangie
Hatrick, not many women I know would deal with their husbands pooning well.Miss CA must have lightening fingers, and they sometimes get away from her. I think what she meant was, "not many women I know would deal well, with their husband's pooning."
And yes, Hatrick's posts are legendary!
You are confused. Either that or you have comprehension issues. I have never blamed anyone for being raped, and have never excused the rapists.
What I have said is that everyone has the responsibility to avoid placing themselves in danger, and when they choose to ignore that and end up getting hurt, the responsibility for ignoring is theirs and theirs alone. That is completely distinct from what actually happened to them. Those are two completely separate things, but you choose to merge them into one because you dont want to address the more difficult issue of what we can do ourselves to ensure our safety. There are actions the victim takes leading up to an attack, and they are responsible for THOSE actions (unless you somehow think the rapist is engaging in mind control and making them do those things). The rapist is responsible for his/her actions.
You walk down a dark alley in the middle of the night and get mugged. You are responsible for being stupid and walking down a dark alley in the middle of the night where you stand a good chance of being attacked. The Mugger is responsible for mugging you. Two completely different things. Those girls are not being blamed for being raped, they are being blamed for placing themselves in a situation where they are highly vulnerable to rape. Society is not sympathetic to people who do stupid things in general. That doesn't mean they are defending rape. Most people appear to be too dim-witted to comprehend that distinction.
No starry eyes. I have no illusions about how hard it is, but, marriage is a partnership, and if you are committed to that then you would abide by the rules of that partnership.Wow wow wow...you must be practically the only guy that thinks like this. Or you're a single guy, with starry-eyed notions of someday meeting the perfect, wonderful, soul-mate of a gorgeous woman, whom you'll marry and live happily ever after with.
Do I sound jaded? :nod:
Do you wanna get married?
When one party goes off to cheat, they are defrauding the trust of their spouse. And if you loved someone you wouldn't do that, so by definition if they are cheating the love is gone.
Should people put up with that from their spouse?
If you had a partnership in a business with someone, and you found out they were stealing from the days take and lying about it, how would you react? Could you still trust them?
W
westcoast555
I understand the distinction you're talking about but trust me... most people don't. You'll never stop getting pilloried for it. And here's why.. it begs the question... maybe we should be able to walk down a dark alley at night. Maybe it's outrageous to live in a society where you can't walk down a dark alley at night. Maybe instead of accepting that it's dangerous and always will be we need to change the situation. Maybe that's not realistic but you have to look at the analogy with sex assault and see that's where it breaks down for many and that it comes across as blaming the victim. It implies that the onus is on women to moderate their behaviour in order to accommodate the wild and anti-social urges of some fucked up men.
The real debate that arises from this is what should and shouldn't be considered wild, anti-social urges of some fucked up men. What is wild and anti-social and how do we categorize fucked up?
Miss RubyTuesday,
I'm sorry to hear about your marital troubles. It seems to be all too often a problem for people nowadays to maintain an honest and open exchange on what they desire sexually and emotionally from others, let alone the one they have agreed to spend the rest of their lives with.
I personally have been seeing escorts since my 18th birthday. (I am now 38.) It was a semi-regular occurrence for me throughout my life. However once I established a dating relationship I would always stop doing so. Personally I believe that if you are with someone that you should remain faithful to that person, but that is my own code of ethics to which I would only hold myself accountable. Throughout my engagement and marriage I forswore all SP visitations. It was only after my divorce (the irony of her cheating on me was not lost to me) that I began seeing SPs once more.
I can tell you this, that even though I was content and happy with my ex there was always a slight niggling feeling of a desire to see a SP throughout the relationship. The desire was never enough to give in to, but I admit to it being there nonetheless. For me it was the idea of the excitement and tremulous feelings that come from seeing and experiencing a lover for the first time. There was a certain rush to the idea of discovery and excitement of something new that was the cause of that little voice in my ear. Despite the fact that I did love my wife deeply and I thought she was a beautiful and sensual lover, it was the fact that sometimes it felt like sex became slightly routine. And sex should never be just routine.
I hope that you and your spouse can work through these issues together. May you both find whatever happiness there is in life for you, and best wishes on your futures.
I'm sorry to hear about your marital troubles. It seems to be all too often a problem for people nowadays to maintain an honest and open exchange on what they desire sexually and emotionally from others, let alone the one they have agreed to spend the rest of their lives with.
I personally have been seeing escorts since my 18th birthday. (I am now 38.) It was a semi-regular occurrence for me throughout my life. However once I established a dating relationship I would always stop doing so. Personally I believe that if you are with someone that you should remain faithful to that person, but that is my own code of ethics to which I would only hold myself accountable. Throughout my engagement and marriage I forswore all SP visitations. It was only after my divorce (the irony of her cheating on me was not lost to me) that I began seeing SPs once more.
I can tell you this, that even though I was content and happy with my ex there was always a slight niggling feeling of a desire to see a SP throughout the relationship. The desire was never enough to give in to, but I admit to it being there nonetheless. For me it was the idea of the excitement and tremulous feelings that come from seeing and experiencing a lover for the first time. There was a certain rush to the idea of discovery and excitement of something new that was the cause of that little voice in my ear. Despite the fact that I did love my wife deeply and I thought she was a beautiful and sensual lover, it was the fact that sometimes it felt like sex became slightly routine. And sex should never be just routine.
I hope that you and your spouse can work through these issues together. May you both find whatever happiness there is in life for you, and best wishes on your futures.
