What can I do?

[skoose]

Hi There,

I have a problem that recently has been ruining my sex life....

All through my teens and early twenties I had a great, full functioning sex drive. In fact, it might have been TOO functional, as you'll understand soon...

At around the age of 26 the look of my 'equipment' started to change. My testicles started to sag and loosen, while my penis appeared to age, with a slight bump on the left side where I used to masterbate quite often. My libido has plummeted dramatically, as well as my ability to get strong, consistent erections.

I've gone to the doctor and a health clinic where they're done a variety of tests, and they've found nothing wrong. They've prescribed me Viagra, which has helped a bit (though not everytime) but that's certainly no cure, and is quite expensive.

I'm 28 now and in a relationship. Three years ago I NEVER would have expected this to be a problem for me, and yet now sex fills me with performance anxiety. I know this is not a psychological issue, but a physical one...

Does anyone have an idea what this could be? Is it just the natural aging process? Did I abuse myself too much when I was younger? Can this be remedied? Needless to say, I would GREATLY appreciate your advice, comments and suggestions. I never expected my sex life to be in shambles at such a young age!

Thank you in advance....
skoose

 

[skoose]

Ever taken any prescription medications?

No, not really. I'm a vegetarian, feel good otherwise and exercise frequently.
I really have no idea what's going on...

 

[sonoman]

Did I abuse myself too much when I was younger?

If masturbation was that damaging, most every guy would be in trouble. I highly doubt you did this to yourself.

 

[badbadboy]

Seeking advise from non professionals is not wise IMHO.

Having read your OP, I sort of get the feeling that the problem may be in your head and not physical. Learning how to relax and not worry is actually very difficult if performance anxiety is the problem.

Be like Woody Allen and think about baseball when in the moment

 

[skoose]

I almost wish it WAS psychological! But it's been a problem for a few years now, and I'm happy otherwise. I'm having performance problems both alone and with a partner...I haven't had a proper erection in months, and I sometimes come without even being fully erect. As stated below, my testicles seem to have lowered and my penis appears aged, loose and wrinkled. The rest of me is fine, though!

Sorry for the somewhat graphic nature of all this, I'm really just looking for some concrete answers or advice, if it's out there. I want my normal sex drive/life back!

Thanks you!

 

[tdactyl]

My two cents worth is that badbadboy is correct. Seeking advice from non professionals is not a wise choice. There are a number of people you might try going to (therapists, doctors (western and alternative)) to see about solutions or potential solutions to your problem. It could be anything from physical or mental standpoint which is getting in the way of you enjoying life. Take care and best of luck in your finding a solution.

 

[skoose]

Hmmm...yeah I did used to watch quite a bit of porn....that could have something to do with it.
I am consulting professionals currently, but I just thought I'd pose the question in case anyone has had
a similar experience or knows how to go about fixing it...

Thanks!

 

[Pillowtalk]

My two cents worth is that badbadboy is correct. Seeking advice from non professionals is not a wise choice. There are a number of people you might try going to (therapists, doctors (western and alternative)) to see about solutions or potential solutions to your problem. It could be anything from physical or mental standpoint which is getting in the way of you enjoying life. Take care and best of luck in your finding a solution.

Actually, he posted in the Health Forum, and at the risk of being an enabler, none of us are supposed to be replying, just the Health Nurse. He is asking for advice from a professional, fwiw. But I do think the questions posed will help the HN, as they are providing more information.

 

[skoose]

Yes, I am hoping to hear from the Health Nurse, but also want to hear from any other members of this forum who have advice/opinion etc.

I have an appointment with a specialist but it's not for several weeks. In the meantime, I'm looking for any answers I can get (I haven't been able to find much online about my problem specifically).

I really appreciate all the responses so far....I've been living with this in silence for a while now, so it's great to get feedback.

Thank you so much....

 

[Health Nurse]

Hi There,

I have a problem that recently has been ruining my sex life....

All through my teens and early twenties I had a great, full functioning sex drive. In fact, it might have been TOO functional, as you'll understand soon...

At around the age of 26 the look of my 'equipment' started to change. My testicles started to sag and loosen, while my penis appeared to age, with a slight bump on the left side where I used to masterbate quite often. My libido has plummeted dramatically, as well as my ability to get strong, consistent erections.

I've gone to the doctor and a health clinic where they're done a variety of tests, and they've found nothing wrong. They've prescribed me Viagra, which has helped a bit (though not everytime) but that's certainly no cure, and is quite expensive.

I'm 28 now and in a relationship. Three years ago I NEVER would have expected this to be a problem for me, and yet now sex fills me with performance anxiety. I know this is not a psychological issue, but a physical one...

Does anyone have an idea what this could be? Is it just the natural aging process? Did I abuse myself too much when I was younger? Can this be remedied? Needless to say, I would GREATLY appreciate your advice, comments and suggestions. I never expected my sex life to be in shambles at such a young age!

Thank you in advance....
skoose

Hi skoose

It sounds like there were no earlier problems with your libido or ability to get erections and then things started to change. Was this a gradual change over the years?

You also mentioned that you are 28 and in a relationship. How long have you been in this relationship?

I have never heard of anyone masturbating so much that it damaged their future libido or their ability to get an erection.

It is normal for libido and ability to get erections change as we get older, This is part of the normal aging process. It can be normal for the sex drive to decrease with age and many men notice that they need direct stimuli to the penis to maintain an erection. like other things in life a good diet, regular exercise, reduced stress, good relationships can go a long way in maintaining someone's sexual health.

I don't know your full medical history but it sounds like you have visited your doctor and they have done some tests. Hopefully they have checked your testosterone levels, made sure that none of the medication you are on could be causing a problem and done a physical exam to make sure everything is ok.

You stated that “I know this is not a psychological issue but a physical one...” but at the same time you have mentioned about the stress and performance anxiety it is causing in you. I am wondering if it could be a few things that could be causing the problem for you.

Skoose I will re post the information I gave to Deep Threat. He recently asked a question on the forum about a low sex drive. Given that you have already seen your doctor. I would suggest seeing someone who is more specialised in this area.


One recent journal article I read said that 15% of men ages 18 to 59 suffer from low or no sexual desire.

Patti Britton has worked with low sexual desire in men for many years. The most common causes she has found are listed below. Many of these can lead to a shutdown of sexual desire if the concern is left unresolved.

Physical/physiological issues. A common cause can be a low range of testosterone. Also the side effects of certain drugs can cause problems as well as plain old physical exhaustion.

Psychological issues. Poor self-esteem; low sexual self-esteem; low feelings of sexual self-worth and feelings of not being adequate for themselves or as a lover to their partner.

Mental issues. Misunderstanding about what is a normal frequency of sexual desire; conflicts with partner in a relationship with mismatched sexual desire levels.

Emotional issues. Internal conflict about masculinity or self-image issues; external conflict in the primary sexual relationship, such as unresolved anger/resentments and also conflicts in a relationship unrelated to sex, such as issues concerning money, family, childrearing, power struggles etc...

Poor sexual performance problems. History of erectile failure; poor ejaculatory control; inability to please partner.

Body image issues. Caused by past negative judgments about his body.

Intimacy issues. Poor intimacy management skills or an ingrained tendency to avoid intimacy.

Exhaustion or stress, and anxiety. Feeling so worn-out or distracted, there is no energy for sex.

Sexual ignorance. Lacking information or awareness about sexual realities.

Given the above I would suggest that you make an appointment at your family doctor. Discuss the issue with them. Make sure they give you a full physical, check blood testosterone levels and that any drugs you may be using are not causing any side effects.

If all that checks out ok I would suggest that you try and see someone who specializes in this area. Here is a list of local sex counsellors/therapist.

Vancouver:

Danielle Duplassie
www.shanti-centre.com

David Mckenzie
http://www.davidmckenzie.ca/

Bianca Rucker
http://www.biancarucker.com/

Pega Ren
http://www.smartsextalk.com/

Marelize Swart
http://www.femalethoughts.com/




HN
www.healthnurse.wordpress.com
www.bccdc.ca
www.stiresource.com

 

[Health Nurse]

Yes, I am hoping to hear from the Health Nurse, but also want to hear from any other members of this forum who have advice/opinion etc.

I have an appointment with a specialist but it's not for several weeks. In the meantime, I'm looking for any answers I can get (I haven't been able to find much online about my problem specifically).

I really appreciate all the responses so far....I've been living with this in silence for a while now, so it's great to get feedback.

Thank you so much....

I am glad that you went to see someone. It is really common for men not to seek help when they are having sexual health problems.

HN

 

[skoose]

Hi Health Nurse (and everyone else),

To answer your questions...

- My libido and erections were fantastic until about 2 years ago (age 26) when I noticed my testicles starting to drop and the look of my penis change. Since that time my libido and ability to maintain an erection have decreased quite dramatically.

- The relationship is pretty new (a few months) so, needless to say, I'd like to be able to function normally again. That's really my impetious for posting here originally....

- My suspicious is that it's related to overmasterbating with the 'death grip' but hopefully it isn't! That'd be great!

- I understand, of course, that sex drive decreases slowly as a man gets older, and I can totally accept that. I just don't think that's what's happening with me, at the moment.....I'm still only 28, not 48. I should be able to maintain an erection and enjoy sex, shouldn't I?

- While I'm having some performance anxiety, I'm also experiencing these problems when I'm alone and have no anxiety, as well as when I was single and not sexually active. So I know that the new relationship is not the cause...

- I'm not taking any medications other than B12 and Vitamin C. I've been a vegetarian for over a decade. I'm in good shape, don't smoke or do drugs and am a relatively happy person who isn't regularily stressed out or exhausted. I really think it's something physical rather than a mental health issue...

- I wonder if it could be low testosterone.....hmmm.....

Apoligies for such a long winded response...I just wanted to give you as much information as possible.
If you need any further details just let me know.

I really just want to get back to normal, however I can!

Additional comments/suggestions from the Health Nurse or anyone else is greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for everything!
skoose

 

[skoose]

A quick update....

I've done some research and my suspicion is that I could have
one of (or combination of) tissue damage, damaged nerve endings
or constricted arteries in the penis as a result of masterbating the
same way 2-3 times a day for about 13 years.

Obviously I'll be bringing this up with the specialist but that appointment
isn't for almost 2 months. In the meantime does anyone know of treatment(s)
for these issues? Should I completely stop masterbating for a while and allow the
damage to (possibly) repair itself?

Thanks everyone, hopefully this discussion can help anyone else in a similar situation.

skoose

 

[Health Nurse]

I completely agree with Garypayt.. Porn screws shit up! It's never the same in real life as it looks (and is imagined) when you watch porn... Turn the computer off for a month!

Hi LeeBrando

Good point.

I have seen men and woman in the clinic who are concerned about how their genitals look or how they perform sexually.

Most of the time their concerns come from how they think they should perform and look when compared to porn. We usually have a long conversation about what is “normal”

As erotic stimulating material porn works great, but don't use it as a how to do manual.


HN
www.healthnurse.wordpress.com
www.bccdc.ca
www.stiresource.com

 

[Harmony-bc]

You mentioned that you are a vegetarian. I am one too, but I don't know if you are aware of this or not. Tofu and soy products can affect men sexually

This was just a quick google search, but I have heard and read the same many times. Soy is ok for women especially for PMS or menopause [it helps balance out the estrogen], but not all the time and is never really good for men.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Soybean-Side-Effects---Mad-About-Soy&id=718182

It has been linked to hypothyroidism, early puberty in children, loss of testosterone, and many other hormone related health problems.