Romantic

[Nathalie Lefebvre]

According to dictionary.com, 'romantic' is defined as:

ro·man·tic   [roh-man-tik]
adjective
1. of, pertaining to, or of the nature of romance; characteristic or suggestive of the world of romance: a romantic adventure.
2. fanciful; impractical; unrealistic: romantic ideas.
3. imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, etc.
4. characterized by a preoccupation with love or by the idealizing of love or one's beloved.
5. displaying or expressing love or strong affection.

What is romance to you? What does it mean to be defined as 'a romantic'? To the hobbyists of PERB: do you feel a lot of pressure to be romantic, regardless of whether it's with an SP/MA or SO? To the SPs/MAs on PERB, do you enjoy romance, or do you feel it's outdated?

Personally, I love romance. However, I feel equally responsible for creating environments conducive to romance! I love lighting candles, giving massages, and making my partners feel appreciated. I don't think that definition captures what I view romance to be... I think romance is about feeling inspired to make someone feel special.

Thoughts?

 

[tokugawa]

According to dictionary.com, 'romantic' is defined as:



What is romance to you? What does it mean to be defined as 'a romantic'? To the hobbyists of PERB: do you feel a lot of pressure to be romantic, regardless of whether it's with an SP/MA or SO? To the SPs/MAs on PERB, do you enjoy romance, or do you feel it's outdated?

Personally, I love romance. However, I feel equally responsible for creating environments conducive to romance! I love lighting candles, giving massages, and making my partners feel appreciated. I don't think that definition captures what I view romance to be... I think romance is about feeling inspired to make someone feel special.

Thoughts?

Honestly I am not sure if 'romance' would ever be possible with a SP (unless a real relationship were to develop). For me I either like or not like, give or not give and love or not love. If an SP has boundaries (choosing not to know anything substantial about the client or choose to interact in a very business like manner) that doesn't allow herself to fully connect or interact with a client, then I find it very difficult to be romantic. I would only want to be 'romantic' when those same feelings are reciprocated back. Not trying to be a pessimist or cynic but being 'romantic' is not a selfless act. It would be quite narcissistic for someone to want to be wooed romantically but not reciprocate back in any way. The act of ' Romance' goes beyond the time that you have arranged with the SP. Feelings can't be turned off easily but then again maybe some people are more robotic than others?

As for your SO, I think you nailed with what you said:

Personally, I love romance. However, I feel equally responsible for creating environments conducive to romance! I love lighting candles, giving massages, and making my partners feel appreciated. I don't think that definition captures what I view romance to be... I think romance is about feeling inspired to make someone feel special.

BTW 'Romance' is not outdated at all. It's always nice to do something for someone especially if he/she is not expecting it.

 

[sexytime]

Those are all good definitions in describing a personality, of which I'm a bit from 2 and 3, a complete dreamer btw, but not so much for describing the type of romance between man and woman.

That type of romance can have a wonderful effect when it is well received, but christ is it ever a big fail when it's not well received. You are right though; everyone deserves to feel special and appreciated.

 

[Dickson]

Yes Nathalie I am an old romantic. I love to set up a situation where I take the SP out for dinner in a beautiful restaurant and have a few singers come in to sing to her. I love to watch her eyes.

Or to buy a beautiful dress, shoes, hand bag have it on a bed of rose petals in the dark bedroom with candles lite light Nate King Cole playing in the back ground. Having her closer her eyes and lead her up into the bed room and have her open her eyes and watch her face.

Or after an all night session giving her 6 dozen roses and having breakfast in bed for her.

Or taking her for a walk on the beach in the early morning while it is still dark and having lite candles in the sand with a bottle of Moët & Chandon champagne. Makng out and watching the sunrise.

or I remember a SP and I went out late to a movie theater just when they were closing and I was able to convience the manager to run a movie just for the two of us. It cost me a few dollars but it was worth it. She told me it was so romantic.

So I am a big romantic.

 

[thebuttdance]

According to dictionary.com, 'romantic' is defined as:



What is romance to you? What does it mean to be defined as 'a romantic'? To the hobbyists of PERB: do you feel a lot of pressure to be romantic, regardless of whether it's with an SP/MA or SO? To the SPs/MAs on PERB, do you enjoy romance, or do you feel it's outdated?

Personally, I love romance. However, I feel equally responsible for creating environments conducive to romance! I love lighting candles, giving massages, and making my partners feel appreciated. I don't think that definition captures what I view romance to be... I think romance is about feeling inspired to make someone feel special.

Thoughts?

I like your last paragraph Nathalie; especially "romance is about feeling inspired to make someone feel special." That's really lovely!

I enjoy romance and I don't think it'll ever be "outdated." It seems that our (Western) world is becoming more progressive, but I believe romance is always here to stay. Just making that girl you're with feel as special as she really is.

I feel that romance is spontaneity. Once I took a date out to go salsa dancing at this ballroom after remembering she mentioned that she loved dancing, but unfortunately the ballroom happened to be closed when we got there. Then we decided to go bowling. With our bowling shoes on and after a couple rounds of alley balls, the 80s classic rock music queued in on the overhead speakers. I took her hands and spun her around in a salsa move on the wooden bowling floor. She swooned ecstatically. After that, we slow danced a bit, disregarding all on-lookers. Later she told me that was one of the most romantic moments that happened to her. Being spontaneous helps, especially with a good pair of bowling shoes As well, keeping in mind of what a woman says in conversation and just making a special occasion happen out of the blue.

I know it's summertime, but I'm more a winter person. Although Romance takes some planning too. I think a romantic occasion would be to take a girl out snowshoeing in the snowy mountains and then nestle by a warm cabin fire place with hot chocolate or wine. Probably have some amazing hot sex on the polar bear rug too! haha

What's a romantic occasion for you Nathalie?

 

[Nathalie Lefebvre]

Honestly I am not sure if 'romance' would ever be possible with a SP (unless a real relationship were to develop). For me I either like or not like, give or not give and love or not love. If an SP has boundaries (choosing not to know anything substantial about the client or choose to interact in a very business like manner) that doesn't allow herself to fully connect or interact with a client, then I find it very difficult to be romantic.

I think these two statements contradict themselves a little bit. I definitely agree that it is hard to be romantic with an SP sometimes, but I'm not willing to state that it is only possible if a 'real' relationship were to develop. I believe there is a false dichotomy between 'real' and not in the context of sex work. Intimacy is much more fluid than that. I would find it difficult to be romantic if I was contacted in a very business like manner as well, but not all SPs are like that. Also, romance has a lot to do with chemistry... if you both feel it then that's great and romance will come with ease. You might not label it as romance, or even recognize it's romance, but it is romantic.

or I remember a SP and I went out late to a movie theater just when they were closing and I was able to convience the manager to run a movie just for the two of us. It cost me a few dollars but it was worth it. She told me it was so romantic.

So I am a big romantic.

That's a really lovely story -- I hope you never lose your sense of romance!

I like your last paragraph Nathalie; especially "romance is about feeling inspired to make someone feel special." That's really lovely!

What's a romantic occasion for you Nathalie?

That's a very good question. To be honest, I had to think for quite a while before I responded. It's hard to think of specific occasions.

I once had a lover who expressed their love to me through a song. We went to an open mic at an indie coffee shop and I had no idea this person was a guitarist. They went up on stage and sang the Cat Power cover of "Sea of Love".

I didn't take the lyrics too seriously, but the gesture itself was very romantic. This person had never performed on stage before and it was really beautiful to see them outside of their element but still determined to perform.

Another occasion where I've been 'romanced' is something as simple as being pampered when I've had a rough day. Or cooking me food when I don't have time. Knowing there are people I can rely on when times are hard is equally romantic.

I love creating environments conducive to romance. I love pampering, and making sure the needs and desires of my lovers are addressed. I remember a patron mentioned he had always wanted to read a specific book, but he wanted a used copy. I bought it online and made sure to give it to him the next time we saw each other. I never told him about it, and of course I hoped he didn't buy his own copy between encounters! This is just evidence of me thinking about him when he wasn't around -- that's romantic. Intimacy is possible with the SP/patron relationship, there just needs to be a certain amount of chemistry and mutual desire.
It doesn't need to be labeled as romantic for it to be romance either...

 

[Dickson]

Interesting, romantic can be one sided

"Another occasion where I've been 'romanced' is something as simple as being pampered when I've had a rough day. Or cooking me food when I don't have time. Knowing there are people I can rely on when times are hard is equally romantic."

I had a SP who had lost her father and she was very upset. I happen to be in the Frankfurt airport after talking to her and as I was walking out of the airport I noticed a flight to Vancouver. I thew caution to the wind and was able to get on the flight. I call the agency she worked at when I arrived in Vancouver and told them I needed her to meet me at the hotel. (Huge risk on the flight over I thought what if she did not want to work that night) They arranged for her to meet me at the hotel. She had no idea it was me when I opened the door. She was shocked. She had spoken to me on the phone while I was in Germany and now I was there. I gave her a long hug and we took a long walked down Robson. I told her I came all that way to hold her and tell her it would be alright. I did not think it was romantic I just thought it was the right thing to do. But I know she cried that night when I held her. Do you define that as romantic?

Determine something is romantic is up to the person who receives it? Not by the person being romanic.

Buttdance I think your story is great I only wish I knew how to dance. I am always interested in what people think is romanic and if I can recreate that moment with my favorite SPs.

 

[Big Dog Striker]

... I think romance is about feeling inspired to make someone feel special.

Trying to make someone feel special or sweeping her off her feet as in being romantic comes natural though. The girl will know if its the real you anyways in the long run. :nod:

It also feels damn good when you try to make someone feel special no matter how big or small. Sometimes you can make the girl feel special even without spending a cent.

About 6 months ago when I learned last minute that my friend from Kits who I met in my yoga class was travelling internationally to train new employees for the coffee shop franchise she works for, fortunately, I knew someone in the airline she was taking so I had her bumped up to Business Class from Economy ( leaving and coming back to Van ) to her surprise upon boarding. It felt good to know that she would be flying in comfort for 14 hours each way. When she came back, our date turned out much sweeter than expected.

 

[Dickson]

Trying to make someone feel special or sweeping her off her feet as in being romantic comes natural though. The girl will know if its the real you anyways in the long run. :nod:

It also feels damn good when you try to make someone feel special no matter how big or small. Sometimes you can make the girl feel special even without spending a cent.

About 6 months ago when I learned last minute that my friend from Kits who I met in my yoga class was travelling internationally to train new employees for the coffee shop franchise she works for, fortunately, I knew someone in the airline she was taking so I had her bumped up to Business Class from Economy ( leaving and coming back to Van ) to her surprise upon boarding. It felt good to know that she would be flying in comfort for 14 hours each way. When she came back, our date turned out much sweeter than expected.

How did she know you bumped her up?

 

[Nathalie Lefebvre]

I had a SP who had lost her father and she was very upset. I happen to be in the Frankfurt airport after talking to her and as I was walking out of the airport I noticed a flight to Vancouver. I thew caution to the wind and was able to get on the flight. I call the agency she worked at when I arrived in Vancouver and told them I needed her to meet me at the hotel. (Huge risk on the flight over I thought what if she did not want to work that night) They arranged for her to meet me at the hotel. She had no idea it was me when I opened the door. She was shocked. She had spoken to me on the phone while I was in Germany and now I was there. I gave her a long hug and we took a long walked down Robson. I told her I came all that way to hold her and tell her it would be alright. I did not think it was romantic I just thought it was the right thing to do. But I know she cried that night when I held her. Do you define that as romantic? .

Wow -- that's so beautiful! She was lucky to have someone like you in her life and kudos to you for throwing caution out the window.

About 6 months ago when I learned last minute that my friend from Kits who I met in my yoga class was travelling internationally to train new employees for the coffee shop franchise she works for, fortunately, I knew someone in the airline she was taking so I had her bumped up to Business Class from Economy ( leaving and coming back to Van ) to her surprise upon boarding. It felt good to know that she would be flying in comfort for 14 hours each way. When she came back, our date turned out much sweeter than expected.

Again, that's another really beautiful story.

I like doing simple things like that. Not only for lovers, but also for my friends! If a friend of mine complains that he/she is having a hard time keeping up with their laundry or household chores, I often go to their place and clean for them without asking. Sometimes it only take a little gesture of kindness to make someone feel special. Can you be romantic with friends? Or does that defeat the purpose of 'romance'?

 

[Dickson]

Wow -- that's so beautiful! She was lucky to have someone like you in her life and kudos to you for throwing caution out the window.



Again, that's another really beautiful story.

I like doing simple things like that. Not only for lovers, but also for my friends! If a friend of mine complains that he/she is having a hard time keeping up with their laundry or household chores, I often go to their place and clean for them without asking. Sometimes it only take a little gesture of kindness to make someone feel special. Can you be romantic with friends? Or does that defeat the purpose of 'romance'?

I don't think you can be romantic with a friend! I think it is just kind. I do not consider cleaning as romantic. I had an SP upset because I took her to LA and to NYC but what she wanted was new toilets in her house or a new roof. Somehow I do not think that is romantic. I don't think kindness is directly romantic. I think sending my SP to the spa for a day might be more romantic. Or when I took a SP for a carriage rides through Central Park at midnight. Or a picnic in Hyde Park in London or when I rented a Catamaran to take my SP to Catalina Island. Not sure I would cleaning her place or putting in toilets as romantic but I guess it is only romantic in the eyes of the person you do it for. I like getting dressing up and attending the opera with a late walk at night over Charles Bridge in Prague with the lights of the Castle in the back ground. I find that far more romantic than someone cleaning my place. But maybe I got it all wrong.

 

[Gentle-man]

According to dictionary.com, 'romantic' is defined as:



What is romance to you? What does it mean to be defined as 'a romantic'? To the hobbyists of PERB: do you feel a lot of pressure to be romantic, regardless of whether it's with an SP/MA or SO? To the SPs/MAs on PERB, do you enjoy romance, or do you feel it's outdated?

Personally, I love romance. However, I feel equally responsible for creating environments conducive to romance! I love lighting candles, giving massages, and making my partners feel appreciated. I don't think that definition captures what I view romance to be... I think romance is about feeling inspired to make someone feel special.

Thoughts?

Romance is making something special for someone special

This can take on many forms... to some it is grand gestures of expensive fine dining, private seats at the opera and jet/limo rides. To others it is coming home to find that the chore they were dreading is already done for them... (yes cleaning and laundry can be romantic). It can be a note left on their dashboard or in their lunch, it can be a little gift left on their pillow, it can be something delivered to their office, and it can just be your time with them doing what they enjoy. It can be you cooking dinner instead of them, just to give them a break, it can be a massage, a special evening set up with candles and oils and rose petals. Often the most crucial element is surprise. If you can catch your partner with something they appreciate, that they never saw coming, then you have been romantic. If you do something just to make them smile, because their smile is the only reward you are looking for... then you have been romantic.

Romance is the most amazing part of a relationship... I enjoy receiving romantic gestures, I get more enjoyment from being the romantic.

 

[Nathalie Lefebvre]

I don't think you can be romantic with a friend! I think it is just kind. I do not consider cleaning as romantic. I had an SP upset because I took her to LA and to NYC but what she wanted was new toilets in her house or a new roof. Somehow I do not think that is romantic. I don't think kindness is directly romantic. I think sending my SP to the spa for a day might be more romantic. Or when I took a SP for a carriage rides through Central Park at midnight. Or a picnic in Hyde Park in London or when I rented a Catamaran to take my SP to Catalina Island. Not sure I would cleaning her place or putting in toilets as romantic but I guess it is only romantic in the eyes of the person you do it for. I like getting dressing up and attending the opera with a late walk at night over Charles Bridge in Prague with the lights of the Castle in the back ground. I find that far more romantic than someone cleaning my place. But maybe I got it all wrong.

No, I don't think you have it wrong. I think it's easy to interchange romantic and kind (as I did above), but there is definitely a difference. There's also a difference between being romantic and buying someone a gift. Being romantic isn't necessarily practical, nor should it be.

Romance should make your heart skip a beat, or at least flutter a little.

 

[Dickson]

No, I don't think you have it wrong. I think it's easy to interchange romantic and kind (as I did above), but there is definitely a difference. There's also a difference between being romantic and buying someone a gift. Being romantic isn't necessarily practical, nor should it be.

Romance should make your heart skip a beat, or at least flutter a little.

Yea that is my favorite part, the heart skipping or the flutter. I am always searching for that. I think that is what I look for in a good SP. It is not just the sex but that feeling.

 

[Elmore]

Real romance involves love in my opinion and that is where the heart skipping occurs. It is a deeper emotion that could not exist with an escort...at least for me. And I don't think romance can be one sided, at least real romance. I think that feeling becomes much stronger when it is mutual.

Being romantic is somewhat superficial. I think it involves actions that are thoughtful or cute such as setting up a picnic in the park for a date. But romance is much deeper. You should not have to pay for real romance.

 

[Dickson]

Real romance involves love in my opinion and that is where the heart skipping occurs. It is a deeper emotion that could not exist with an escort...at least for me. And I don't think romance can be one sided, at least real romance. I think that feeling becomes much stronger when it is mutual.

Being romantic is somewhat superficial. I think it involves actions that are thoughtful or cute such as setting up a picnic in the park for a date. But romance is much deeper. You should not have to pay for real romance.

Since I can not have the real deal I try and pay for it and with a few SPs I have felt it but those SPs are hard to find. I like the SP to role play that they are my GF and I try to give them a romantic moment.

I was just thinking I had this one SP that I took to NYC and I had a picnic lunch set up in Central Park but it was not so much the picnic that she thought was romantic but the fact that I stopped by the Pharmacy to pick up some cold medication for her as she was not feel so well and thought she was coming down with a cold. I personally do not see that as romantic but she told my personal assistant that was one of the most romantic things anyone had done for her. Go figure that one. I thought what about the stylist, the clothes, the shoes, the handbags I bought her. The day at the spa getting her hair and nails done, the night at the theater, the fancy romantic dinners, the helicopter ride over the city, the gala event at Lincoln Center. The best she can come up with some cold medication from the Pharmacy. I just don't get it. Am I that far off on romance?

What about the walk in the snow falling on a moonlite night in Park City Utah, the candles, red wine by fireplace, the six dozen rose and the Christmas tree I have set up in the suite, the 21 sweaters wrapped for her under the tree not as romantic as me watching her put on her makeup. This one SP thought that was more romantic. Why is that romantic and what I did not? What am I missing? Superficial?

Educate me on that! What is love? Everyone uses the word but what is it? Now understand I have never been loved and I have never loved anyone. I have no mother or father or sister or bothers. I have no pets or real friends. So I have never really loved anything. Some people might say I love my companies but the reality that in business I believe business is business and love is bullshit.

So I do pay SPs to tell me that they love me. But I am fascinated by the concept. I wonder what it would be like to really love someone or someone really loves me. I like the first part of relationships but my relationships usually last for 6 to 8 months. So it is not real love. What make people do things for others out of love?

 

[Big Dog Striker]

Romance should make your heart skip a beat, or at least flutter a little.

I think mine would flutter much longer as I finally get the chance to launch internationally the Red Rose Wine which I branded from one of the wineries in Healdsburg, Sonoma in 2 countries this weekend. Got delayed by a week but better late than never. Flying out to make sure that the product launch of the wine brand which was named after my favorite beauty in the gym will be a huge success. It makes my heart flutter to know that she will be known in a few countries and that would surely sweep her off her feet. As they say, Red Rose is the wine of lovers.

Btw, Nathalie I hope you enjoy your Gelato in our beautiful city.

 

[Dickson]

Ms Sarah, you are too kind. Clearly you do not know me. I have been called a lot of things but big hearted is not one of them. My intentions are often misunderstood. I learned a long time ago that happiness is a state of mind. I have met a family in Egypt and there was 11 people in a mud hut and they were the happiness people I ever saw. So I am not responsible for other peoples happiness. However I would like to think I can influence thier way of looking at the world. Kinda give them a spark. But I do miss read people and SPs who I think would be easier to read as we know the reason why they are with me. They know the role. But bang I get it in the eyes so many times.

Thanks for the home work.

 

[Gotee-man]

To me, romance is not really about sex, it's the thing that builds up to amazing mind blowing sex. It's the the stuff before like: flowers, candle lite dinner, holding, caressing, kissing, flirting, laughing, deep connection, touching and genuinely caring and desiring someone.

 

[Dickson]

To me, romance is not really about sex, it's the thing that builds up to amazing mind blowing sex. It's the the stuff before like: flowers, candle lite dinner, holding, caressing, kissing, flirting, laughing, deep connection, touching and genuinely caring and desiring someone.

I totally agree where is my phone with my SPs number in it. I need that Gotee-man. But I want the SP to deeply desire me. I want to know I am special. Yet I do not find SPs are really good at it. They say they can seduce guys but I find I have to make the first move.