Thanks
With that definition of a friend is like seeking to ride a unicorn. Everyone is bought and sold. Speaking from a guy who has never had a friend.
For those who don't like rambling posts, you might want to move on at this point...
Maybe there is a question of definition here, but I'm not sure. If you mean when you say "[e]veryone is bought and sold" as financial exchange is the basis of any relationship, then I disagree. If you mean that this statement refers to a reciprocity in the relationship, then you probably are right.
There are many kinds of exchange and currency used, but when it is purely monetary, then frequently it can get messy. Money has this way of messing things up and corrupting otherwise good relationships.
Money as an exchange for emotions is a very fragile and dangerous area. It can certainly accompany other means of exchange, but on its own it is problematic. Which may be part of the reason for your pattern of breakups with different SPs.
I have been thinking about some of your recent posts over the last couple of days, and wonder if subconsciously you have been sabotaging relationships with ladies, such as Ms James, when you start getting too close. And whether the monetary exchange for emotional connection becomes too much for the ladies... that they need an exchange on another level as well. Maybe I'm just talking out of the top of my head and don't know what I'm talking about, but from what I have read over a period of time, there is a pattern. If you are at a subconscious level the architect of relationship breakups, then it may also be possible to break and change that pattern.
I can understand your grief at breaking up with Ms James. It saddened me to read of that, and it did leave me with the question of 'why'?
I suspect some of the threads you commented on over the last couple of days have been removed... as I can't find them now to respond to. I know you made comments in a couple of places as how Lancealot, BadgerJohn and myself were in some ways preferable to the likes of Ms James. I disagree. We are all men with particular strengths and flaws individual to us. We make the best of the strengths we have, but that doesn't mean we don't also have flaws and areas of weakness. I certainly do. Many a time have I wished that I was taller than I am. Do you know how many women don't want to go out with someone shorter than they are? And that is just a starting point. But, I don't worry about that now. If women can't accept me for who I am and how I am now, then I have to move on, albeit possibly with some sadness.
We ALL have strengths and weaknesses. You are no less because your strength is in your ability to pay for elaborate fantasies rather than other areas. You are a good person at heart, Dickson. And if you don't mask that with extravagant spending... or see the solution to every problem is throwing money at it, then I'm sure that ladies will see and appreciate you for who you are. Part of that is loving yourself and seeing yourself, not as a wounded orphan, but as a wonderful man who has so much to give (aside from the money). You have accomplished a lot in business. You have come a long way from your roots. But, there is more you can give from your heart... that doesn't depend on monetary exchange.
You want to be loved, appreciated, to bring smiles to the faces of people, to connect with people, and you can do that. You don't need to rely on material goods and gifts to do that. Somewhere else someone suggested that you give some of your money away, and you noted that you already do that. Will, of course you do, because you do have a good heart... and you need to be confident in your goodness. But, maybe it would also help to serve in a soup kitchen (or similar), dishing out plates of food to the homeless... as everyone is looking to connect, to be loved and appreciated. And you can do that with the simple act of a smile, of connecting with a homeless person as you hand them some food, to let them know that they are worthy in themselves.
I understand the need to be loved, appreciated and respected in a relationship. I and many others are looking for the same thing.
Finding that on an enduring basis through paying a courtesan is only going to provide a short-term benefit. My friend, I suspect that you are wanting that on a long-term basis (maybe on a subconscious level), but don't believe you can ever achieve it. Although not impossible, finding it among sex professionals is not a recipe for success on a long-term basis. But, you know that already. You know you can achieve that for short periods of time through paying for it... but I think you want more.
Guess I ended up rambling...