Not-so-obvious no-no's for MP clients

[Benchmark]

I think - I hope - that most people visiting PERB are intelligent and respectful enough to know the most obvious things you shouldn't do when visiting a MP. You know, things like smelling like a sewer, being abusive or violent, peeing in the hot tub, setting the artifical plants on fire, trying to convert the person giving you a HJ to your religious faith... and so on.

I'm curious, though, about the less blatant breaches of MP etiquette that, I'm sure, peeve and plague the lovely SPs that visit this board.

What bugs you? What do your clients say or do that turn you off or make for a lousy session?

 

[trawler]

I of course am not a SP, but ...

in all honesty I would have been if I had been born the right sex; consequently, I do know from numerous Girls that they get their biggest laffer at all the Guys that ask why would someone as nice as them be doing "this".

I think they are hoping for some rational like - I am a nympho, my boyfriend makes me, my Pimp won't let me stop, etc. To me the answer has always been obvious. It is their way to make acceptable coin. Unfortunately, it is a difficult coin to replace and that is why some of the Girls spend too long in the business.

For those that simply enjoy it (as would be my answer, if I were an SP), please forgive my cynical response to my own question (LOL).

 

[KITT]

Ok..I'll let out the secrets....

Pet peeves of mine:
Being asked "Is my cock big enough? Does it measure up? Is it a good size? Do you like my cock? Are most bigger than mine? Isn't mine the biggest? etc." Like I'm gonna say.....umm...you are a little small, and you have a funny shape....
A N/R is not just pinching my nipples and poking my 'hole' with your fingers....which have hangnails that hurt.
Cling On's.....belong on Star Trek.....not ass hair just after a shower!!
Guys who try to get 'DEALS' by saying "so and so does it for that"
Well, then, go see her!! You always get a deal fom your regular girl, but when seeing someone new....better bring the proper tip!!
Guys who won't tell me what they want. If a guy Hemms and Haws......gives me I dunno's, and still can't decide 1/2 hour into the session, all I offer is a complete. I go no further. It's funny though...cuz then he says...."oh, I was hoping for a BJ or FS"........too bad he couldn't make up his mind before I made up mine!!
Guys who think they are the best client I have ever had. They are the best at this, or that, and aren't they great because they help with the clean up, or make the bed......not so much these things but the fact that they voice it. "AREN'T I THE BEST BECAUSE...." I'm no brown noser, and if they ask enough, I will give them an answer they may not want to hear!! Good boys are a dime a dozen...
As for the question "Why is a nice girl like you in this business?" Because nice guys like you pay us to be!!<----ya that one was a little rude....

 

[xraygogs]

Well its a good thing you aren't bitter at all ....

Holy crap ... no wonder SP's pay Trawler for a topless!!!

 

[KITT]

Not bitter at all!!
Now that I'm in semi retirement....and quickly moving to retirement......I get to say whatever I want, tell the absolute truth!! And it's not going to hurt MY business

 

[Benchmark]

Honesty is the best policy.

Now that's the kind of honesty I was looking for. Thanks, KITT!

So let's see... KITT's ideal client is a cock-confident, pinch- and pokeless, wealthy, decisive, humble Joe with no body hair?

Why... that's me! It's uncanny!

Seriously, I appreciate your thoughts, and I hope others will contribute here as well. I mean, if I see you as a client, neither of us want a bad experience, right?

 

[KITT]

Benchmark...my perfect client....

Hell, that's my perfect man!!
Except for one thing.....My man does not have to be wealthy
He must have a job, a job he likes or loves, but not necessarily make a whole lot of money. Besides.....it would be a blow to my womanly pride if my partner made more money than me!!!!
Anywho...that's what I've always been here for.....honesty, sometimes I'm a little biased....but for the most part I'm a straight up gal who will tell you "WUT'S UP"


PS.....Benchmark, if you are my perfect client....even better, my perfect man.......when are you going to prove it?

 

[xraygogs]

Uhhhhh .... okay, I don't know what I did that was so insensitive, and I don't see what was being reviewed in this thread, but I will follow your advice of course as I am obviously not as finely attenuated to this board as you are, and just keep my mouth shut. Very sorry C-Man.

 

[KITT]

It's all good.....everybody knows it's all good for me, as far as off the cuff remarks..and I got the wink....so I knew you were being sarcastic with the "bitter" remark!!
Don't keep yer mouth shut XRG!! We want to hear from you!!

 

[Benchmark]

KITT's perfect man

Prove that I'm your perfect man?. After everything I've read about you?

Heh. No pressure!

 

[KITT]

cum on now.....

Pressure?
I'm not that hard to please......am I?
Proof is in the 'put-ing'!!

 

[BS Detector]

i guess I;m just becoming Old Grump II...

And just who exactly is supposed to be Old Grump I ??? lol

 

[wolverine]

Old Grump I happens to be the longest-serving regular contributer to PERB Edmonton (read his title).

 

[BS Detector]

HEHE

And just who exactly is supposed to be Old Grump I ??? lol

Thought Candyman was trying to tell me something!

 

[KITT]

It's me baby....

Damn, who turned up the heat..

hot hot hot

It's always me!! I can't help it..it's just the Aura I put off when I enter a romm.....

If ya'll can't take the heat, get out of ............



................ME!!