Must not jerk off before my session tomorrow...

[Hugejackman]

How do you guys synchronize the “itch-to-satify schedule” ratio?

When the need RISES it’s next to impossible to have a couple of hours/same day release. I just can’t schedule it, sometimes it’s been held back so long.

The few times I’ve relied basically on luck to find an SP who is available within the urge timeframe, despite much juggling of dashing around the other end of town, and then often wasting an entire day in frustration or waiting. (hence the unloading jerkoff ).

I just don’t seem functional within a schedule.

I’ve even driven miles to poor quality SPs and aunties just jerk off in front of them to fulfill the need, and feel shamed for having to drop down to the depths of despair...you may know what I mean. I spend hours to often have no avail.

By the time the session comes, I find it’s anticlimactic as I’ve already unloaded earlier.

I admit it’s a combination of bad planning and impatience on my part, but when you’re hungry you don’t usually have to plan your appetite day in advance!

Just checking on what everyone is doing and any strategies that work. All suggestions welcomed.

 

[The Caffeinated Gent]

You are planning it wrong, I am not saying I know the best way but I can give you a suggestion or two:

Don't jump on escort sites when you're horny, that's how a lot of WOT or schedules not matching aka your situation happened.

So, first thing to do, for me at least, is to have a regular release schedule for yourself. Meaning you set yourself a schedule of how frequently you need to have sex, it might seem ridiculous but it works for me. What I meant is, for me, I have come to realize that one release every two weeks will work for me, if I have sex at least once every two weeks, I will not have strong urge to make bad decisions like what you did. That's the first step.

Second, like I said at the beginning, don't start searching when you are all horned up and desperate. Make the search process a daily routine. What I do, is I spend some time searching for the SPs I would like to see in the future everyday, once I find them, I make a note, make a list and prioritize them. As you keep doing this every day, (it doesn't take much of my time for me) you will first of all come to know how frequently the SP you want to see works, because their ad is up consistently during which days, Sundays, Mondays whatever. Then, you look at your calendar, find a date that's within your timeframe during which period you will not be horny enough to jerk off, and see if the SP you want to see works on that day.

Lastly, practice some self control because at the beginning this might not be easy to get done. Then set up a date a day in advance with the SP you would like to see, if she is able to accommodate. Then, before you can't control yourself anymore, the date of appointment arrives, so you're all set for a love rendezvous.

God I have never been so organized in other aspects of my life LMFAO

 

[g eazy]

I just can’t schedule it, sometimes it’s been held back so long.

I just don’t seem functional within a schedule.

I admit it’s a combination of bad planning and impatience on my part, but when you’re hungry you don’t usually have to plan your appetite day in advance!

Okay, so my takeaway from your post are the points above - so it won't help if someone tells you to set a schedule because you've already decided that you don't seem functional within a schedule. Self control is great, but that's the million dollar question. How?

If you're clamouring for a nut, you probably expose yourself to too many cues that are built into your habits. Obviously looking at porn, Perb, and escort ads are cues, but you have to keep taking steps beyond that. For example, when you get on a computer, do you automatically open the aforementioned websites? Is it a habit that you turn on the computer when you're home from work? Is it always on? You need to identify these triggers and eliminate them in order to be successful in self control. Researching SPs everyday in your shoes is playing with fire and a sure way to brutally fail any kind of self control.

If your urges are immense during your everyday life (eg in the middle of a busy work day everyday), then at this point your urge to release is detrimental to your life (this is how clinicians identify mental disorders under DSM-5). If you feel the urges are coming to you with reasonable time in between (varies for everyone, but it comes down to individual comfort level) then you're probably okay. I have discussed addictions in a therapy setting before so take my words for what you will.

 

[The Caffeinated Gent]

If you're clamouring for a nut, you probably expose yourself to too many cues that are built into your habits. Obviously looking at porn, Perb, and escort ads are cues, but you have to keep taking steps beyond that. For example, when you get on a computer, do you automatically open the aforementioned websites? Is it a habit that you turn on the computer when you're home from work? Is it always on? You need to identify these triggers and eliminate them in order to be successful in self control. Researching SPs everyday in your shoes is playing with fire and a sure way to brutally fail any kind of self control.

I would argue that what you said is basically abstain from sex. If he avoids all of what you said, looking at porn, Perb, and escort ads, do you still allow him to see escort? Or are you saying he should just quit the hobby until he feels like he is able to control himself?

Well, if the OP's intention is to quit this hobby, then what you suggest him to do is right, but is he looking to stop seeing SPs completely? In other words, OP, are you treating your issues as an addiction, or you are just looking to make your hobby manageable?

If the OP still wishes to partake in this hobby, abstain from sexual exposure is unrealistic. Every one of us that partakes in this hobby has the urge to have sex, otherwise why would we be willing to spend money on it? In other words, no offense, what g eazy said is how to get rid of the addiction. What he said, in my opinion, is like telling an alcoholic: "Oh, you always want to have a drink? Simple, don't go near alcohol! Minimize your exposure to alcohol!"

That's easier to say than done, and not at all necessary if the OP is still going to see an escort anyway, like a normal person who wants a beer, but don't want to get drunk all the time.

@Hugejackman it all comes down to you my guy. Are you looking to manage yourself better while partaking this hobby or are you looking to quit?

 

[PuntMeister]

Oh fuk, just get your shit together and plan a little. Give yourself something to look forward to.

 

[Uncled]

You must become Master of Your Domain.

 

[g eazy]

I would argue that what you said is basically abstain from sex. If he avoids all of what you said, looking at porn, Perb, and escort ads, do you still allow him to see escort? Or are you saying he should just quit the hobby until he feels like he is able to control himself?

Well, if the OP's intention is to quit this hobby, then what you suggest him to do is right, but is he looking to stop seeing SPs completely? In other words, OP, are you treating your issues as an addiction, or you are just looking to make your hobby manageable?

If the OP still wishes to partake in this hobby, abstain from sexual exposure is unrealistic. Every one of us that partakes in this hobby has the urge to have sex, otherwise why would we be willing to spend money on it? In other words, no offense, what g eazy said is how to get rid of the addiction. What he said, in my opinion, is like telling an alcoholic: "Oh, you always want to have a drink? Simple, don't go near alcohol! Minimize your exposure to alcohol!"

That's easier to say than done, and not at all necessary if the OP is still going to see an escort anyway, like a normal person who wants a beer, but don't want to get drunk all the time.

@Hugejackman it all comes down to you my guy. Are you looking to manage yourself better while partaking this hobby or are you looking to quit?

Brother, you put an awful lot of words in my mouth there. In what part of my post did I say "do not see an escort" or "you should just quit until you're able to control yourself"? The only time escorts were mentioned in my post was with reference to escort ads/Perb. IMO the post is more to do with jacking off, and has less to do with seeing SPs. Perhaps not jacking off is the same thing as abstaining from sex to you, but I am directing my attention to OP. Perhaps you should read my post again and try to digest it better.

I don't know why things like "are you just looking to make your hobby manageable" are asked. He's trying to manage his horny thoughts-to-jerkoff ratio. My man is just trying to jerk off less. Just because you see a SP once a week, doesn't mean you have to spend hours everyday for all the other days of the week jacking off. If you are tying masturbating to seeing a provider as one of the same, your problems run much deeper. Seeing a SP (e.g. once a week) and abstaining from sexual exposure (all the other days of the week, unless you wanna rub one out in between, etc.) is completely reasonable, otherwise you are treating SPs no different than porn really.

Indeed, my recommendations are for addictions - but to masturbation in this case. The alcohol analogy is kinda shitty because again - you are grouping having sex and masturbating together. Having sex is like drinking finely aged whisky and jerking off is like downing another can of PBR. If you can have PBR whenever you want and whisky only once a week, and your PBR is taking away from your experience with the whisky. Then the solution is clear - don't drink PBR, or drink it less.

 

[Perbasaurus]

If you need instant gratification, go to an AMP like Atlantis, GP, or Tiger. They always have someone working, you can pick from a lineup, and you don't have to wait.

If you're planning to see a specific SP, tough shit, you will have to plan ahead of time and wait. That's just how it is most of the time.

 

[Hugejackman]

hey, I appreciate the thoughtful replies ...all of you. Yeah Bigrawd you’re right I’m bad at planning here and organized elsewhere lol, if only it was funny but I do like the schedule-my-urges type idea.

my man G eazy, this thing is getting out control in some ways I must be blunt. If I say I have to run to the bathroom after some hottie walks by, you get my drift. I probably need to see someone, this nagging thing it’s like 90% my day gone totally wasted in search of something elusive. I’d say I'd be satisfied maybe 50% of time following my secret visits.

I do the AMP visits yes , just squeeze in last moment before they close to see some auntie at that point I don’t care , just so I can sleep. If not my sleep is screwed and then I repeat the cycle again, so the definition of addiction/insanity call it whatever you want.

I do think it’s not reasonable to get instant gratification, so obviously not a reasonable expectation on my part. I just can’t get the timing right,

Takes real discipline to channel my energy into something useful, sort of postpone the need to satisfy the appetite- now I wish I spent a better youth ?

it’s pretty fuk’d -
if I could get my shit together in this one area, I’d probably (definitely) be more functional during the day.

 

[Poon Raider]

Indeed, my recommendations are for addictions - but to masturbation in this case. The alcohol analogy is kinda shitty because again - you are grouping having sex and masturbating together. Having sex is like drinking finely aged whisky and jerking off is like downing another can of PBR. If you can have PBR whenever you want and whisky only once a week, and your PBR is taking away from your experience with the whisky. Then the solution is clear - don't drink PBR, or drink it less.

Are we talking Pabst Blue Ribbon here?

 

[Perbasaurus]

I do the AMP visits yes , just squeeze in last moment before they close to see some auntie at that point I don’t care , just so I can sleep. If not my sleep is screwed and then I repeat the cycle again, so the definition of addiction/insanity call it whatever you want.

They don't all have aunties. There are a lot of younger non-auntie choices at AMPs dude, and they employ all ethnicities

 

[80watts]

Try the scientific approach. Find out how long you can take between jacking off. This might be between 1 hr and several days depending on how horny you are.
Let say its 2 days. So plan ahead to see a lady and book her 2 days in advance. Make sure you jerk off when you book. Keep yourself busy with other thing for 2 days until your date...
What you do have to do is avoid temptation to jack off until the date....

 

[masterpoonhunter]

Our fellow 'horned up' pooner asked:

" How do you guys synchronize the “itch-to-satify schedule” ratio? "

And the answers and discussion here in my opinion cover it.

As an older fellow perbite who has learned that control does work, I have to think our OP is either a rather young fellow who is still pumping out a lot of testosterone or he is eating too many oysters or his particular blend of a Viagra like potion could maybe be cut back a tad. I mean I remember being a late teen and choking the chicken 3-4 times a day, every day, no matter what time of day. That monkey got spanked so many times, I think I grew callouses on my hand! Now as I savor those moments where I am enjoying the company of my 'at the moment' partner, I want not only me to be primed and ready so I can make the most of the time but I also want to be able to produce for my lady companion. So instead of taking care of that morning wood, I let that be and plan to take care of that itch later, in the day, the next day or later in the week. Sure its hard in more ways than one. But ... so far ... ahem and cough cough, I have not had an ed or similar moment for a long long time.

cheers and Happy Pooning

 

[Hugejackman]

Try the scientific approach. Find out how long you can take between jacking off. This might be between 1 hr and several days depending on how horny you are.
Let say its 2 days. So plan ahead to see a lady and book her 2 days in advance. Make sure you jerk off when you book. Keep yourself busy with other thing for 2 days until your date...
What you do have to do is avoid temptation to jack off until the date....

That’s almost bang on (pun) I did just that and I didn’t think I could just divert my attention, but it worked more or less... I also wasn’t at full force because of the anxiety I had built up thinking by hand release beforehand, I’d not be up for it, but I walked away fairly satisfied at least (for once).

It’s less raw, and sort of artificial means of tricking myself. Perhaps this is simply a tool/ method to tame the beast ?

Thanks ?

 

[Hugejackman]

choking the chicken 3-4 times a day, every day, no matter what time of day. That monkey got spanked so many times, I think I grew callouses on my hand!

cheers and Happy Pooning

Lol.... I am a “ 5 knucks chucks” expert also ?

 

[Hugejackman]

Oh fuk, just get your shit together and plan a little. Give yourself something to look forward to.

What r u doing here Dad? ?

 

[steverino]

Maybe removing the word "jack" from your handle would help.

 

[The Caffeinated Gent]

That’s almost bang on (pun) I did just that and I didn’t think I could just divert my attention, but it worked more or less... I also wasn’t at full force because of the anxiety I had built up thinking by hand release beforehand, I’d not be up for it, but I walked away fairly satisfied at least (for once).

It’s less raw, and sort of artificial means of tricking myself. Perhaps this is simply a tool/ method to tame the beast ?

Thanks ?

There you go man! Jerking beforehand or not, that's up to you, but it goes back to the scheduling cuz if you don't plan on when to release it's not going to help you tame the beast, and now you can gradually start replacing your release with a date with a SP!

 

[map3]

If you need instant gratification, go to an AMP like Atlantis, GP, or Tiger. They always have someone working, you can pick from a lineup, and you don't have to wait.

If you're planning to see a specific SP, tough shit, you will have to plan ahead of time and wait. That's just how it is most of the time.

any other recommendations? I'm having trouble finding GP tiger or AMP

 

[beaveraddict]

...What I meant is, for me, I have come to realize that one release every two weeks will work for me, if I have sex at least once every two weeks, I will not have strong urge to make bad decisions like what you did.

Let me get this straight, you only need to have sex every two weeks? Do you mean you sex with an SP or SO? Or, do you just mean the urge to orgasm, including masturbation?

I'm in my mid-50s and I still "need" to take matters into my own hands most days. I say "need" because I understand that this is relative and we could always benefit from a little more self-control in all aspects of our lives. Sure.

I've always been jealous of men like you, I mean that sincerely. Our brains are obviously wired very differently and I don't think you realize how lucky you are to not be controlled by the urges that some of the other members here seem to be facing. Sure, there is yoga & meditation and other intentional steps we can take to practise equanimity around sex, or gambling, or alcohol, or cocaine... but these are tools. If you just don't have the urge, then you don't understand the problem.

Again, maybe I misunderstood your post.

Just checking on what everyone is doing and any strategies that work. All suggestions welcomed.

I feel your pain Bro... all I can say is breathe deeply, maybe get a hobby? I appreciate some of the comments others have made regarding addiction, it is a fine line.

Hats off to "g easy". Avoiding the triggers is a huge first step... to do that, you need to re-organize yourself. Easier said than done, but stay away from the computer if you default to Leolist, Perb & Tryst right away (or MyFreeCams and PornHub).

Some people poo-poo the idea of sex-addiction, but I would suggest reading someone like Gabor Maté who writes about addiction extensively, although not specifically around sex. The point is that it's not the "thing" we are addicted to that we need to understand, it's actually what triggers the urge? Do we really "need" pussy or just to orgasm, or are we trying to fill a deeper hole? This may have a lot do to with childhood trauma and formative experiences in adolescence. I'm not a counsellor so I won't say anymore... we all have our journeys. Sex is a wonderful thing with someone else or with yourself; pleasure for pleasure's sake is one of life's joys... but if you seek pleasure to fill a deeper hole, then it is doomed to be short-lived.

I'm not there yet myself, but this is all I can offer for now...

Good luck!