MEN: Why Do Men Cheat?
- Thread starter Luscious
- Start date
Yes, I understand, my family found out I was working as a "call-girl" when I was 19. That was really hard, so I dropped out and became someone's wife for awhile. After that it's all been a blur. I'm not working in the "business" right now, I'm back at my "real" job, but I'd like to think if my family found out that again I supported myself by "sexually enhancing" the lives of the men who have spent time with me, well, I guess I'd cross that bridge again if I had to, really.
trophyishm...
i still say trophyism is severely under-calculated. lots of guys on this board don't just want ANY girl, they want a certain TYPE of girl....
If they wanted to just have sex with any girl they could probably do it a lot cheaper.... thats for sure...
i still say trophyism is severely under-calculated. lots of guys on this board don't just want ANY girl, they want a certain TYPE of girl....
If they wanted to just have sex with any girl they could probably do it a lot cheaper.... thats for sure...
I agree.......the hurt on my wifes face when I confessed many indiscretions was very real.....we decided that it would be better for me to do this as there is less chance of emotional attachment. And she feels better I think because there is an exchange of money rather than alot of sneaking, phone calls, dates etc.
I don't feel she needs to know how much I play, and I don't think she wants to know.......
Very true, also speaking from experience. Combine a sex addict with a pathological liar who WANTS to get caught and you've got a big mess
But then cries and begs and pleads for you to not leave him and how much he loves you. *sigh*It is the lies that hurt me the most. I gave him permission, said hey if you want to try x,y,z let's go for it etc. "No, no, no I only want you I don't know why I do these other things. " And then to still be lied to hurts, and really does a number on your confidence and self esteem.
Sorry, sensitive issue for me (obviously)
I waited until the kids were out of the house, that avoids the support for the child being remitted to the ex.
I also was very careful to give her nothing to work with. She was the one who got caught. The dynamics change when there is no child support and she's the one who moved out.
The kids weren't born blind, they knew she had "friends" when I was on tour. In fact, both kids were concerned that they weren't mine by blood and I wouldn't pay their tuition.
I think it's a lot of "I wanna have my cake and eat it too". If your not happy in a relationship then either suck it up and stay or leave and be prepared to give up some assets. Be honest with yourself and your partner. It will all work out better in the end.
Loving sex (pre-marriage) >>>> paid-for sex (even w/hottie..!) > dead body sex (post kids)
I don't even consider it cheating, it's just survival. She still looks hot and feels tight but just not interested in sex at any time... with any one... for any reason - even on my damn birthday - or when she's tipsy... sheesh... Sexual politics? I dunno - that's beyond my comprehension - I AM A GUY - If I can't fight it or fuck it - IT ain't in the manual...
The only guys I know who get ANY are unmarried (shacked-up, even if over 40), or married/making babies, or both.
And I don't want to leave my family - there is another thread on F'ed UP kids, bullying, xbox parenting, and so on. Ain't gonna happen on my watch. Well, unless I get thrown out, but even then i doubt that would happen. She can't feel 'cheated', I would argue - "CHEATED OUT OF WHAT???" I never ever cheated on a loving partner who was showing it with sex. Pretty simple, that...
Women who 'cheat' will typically screw their partners more to throw them off the trail - females are the sneaky sex - It is fairly easy for a woman to find out if a guy is screwing around, if she cares that is. We are terrible liars, she has a better sense of smell, understands money, his time off during the day. A guy's post-orgasm mood change is easy to spot if you know him... It's the only time we're "thinkin like a girl"...
I don't even consider it cheating, it's just survival. She still looks hot and feels tight but just not interested in sex at any time... with any one... for any reason - even on my damn birthday - or when she's tipsy... sheesh... Sexual politics? I dunno - that's beyond my comprehension - I AM A GUY - If I can't fight it or fuck it - IT ain't in the manual...
The only guys I know who get ANY are unmarried (shacked-up, even if over 40), or married/making babies, or both.
And I don't want to leave my family - there is another thread on F'ed UP kids, bullying, xbox parenting, and so on. Ain't gonna happen on my watch. Well, unless I get thrown out, but even then i doubt that would happen. She can't feel 'cheated', I would argue - "CHEATED OUT OF WHAT???" I never ever cheated on a loving partner who was showing it with sex. Pretty simple, that...
Women who 'cheat' will typically screw their partners more to throw them off the trail - females are the sneaky sex - It is fairly easy for a woman to find out if a guy is screwing around, if she cares that is. We are terrible liars, she has a better sense of smell, understands money, his time off during the day. A guy's post-orgasm mood change is easy to spot if you know him... It's the only time we're "thinkin like a girl"...
Sorry about that, I don't cheat. Of course, I am single, not dating, never been in a 'relationship' and am not at all interested in the time and games it takes to be in one.
As for the others ... all I can say is ignorant assholes who don't have the guts to be honest.
- TR
Seriously speaking
I think we, men, cheat because we are hard wired to cheat.
We are suppose to extend our blood line as much as possible
and to do that we do what we do...
(just look at animal kingdom for example)
and from what I read and talk to other women friends,
women cheat as much as men do because sex has become
recreational.
I think we, men, cheat because we are hard wired to cheat.
We are suppose to extend our blood line as much as possible
and to do that we do what we do...
(just look at animal kingdom for example)
and from what I read and talk to other women friends,
women cheat as much as men do because sex has become
recreational.
Fuck you..........when you get into a sexless and often loveless marriage that has spawned kids we'll see how judgemental you are then........
from the movie Moonstruck
Rose: Why do men chase women?
Johnny: Well, there's a Bible story..God..God took a rib from Adam and made Eve. Now maybe men chase women to get the rib back. When god took the rib, he left a big hole there where there used to be something and the women have that. Now maybe just maybe a man isn't complete as a man without a woman.
Rose: (frustrated) But why would a man need more than one woman?
Johnny: I don't know. Maybe because he fears death.
Rose: That's it! That's the reason!
Johnny: I don't know...
Rose: No! That's it! Thank you for answering my question!
Rose: Why do men chase women?
Johnny: Well, there's a Bible story..God..God took a rib from Adam and made Eve. Now maybe men chase women to get the rib back. When god took the rib, he left a big hole there where there used to be something and the women have that. Now maybe just maybe a man isn't complete as a man without a woman.
Rose: (frustrated) But why would a man need more than one woman?
Johnny: I don't know. Maybe because he fears death.
Rose: That's it! That's the reason!
Johnny: I don't know...
Rose: No! That's it! Thank you for answering my question!
blah, blah, blah
people 'cheat' because no one wants to read the same book,
eat the same meal, wear the same clothes, watch the same
movie, have the same conversation, for the rest of their lives.
second, there is this 'myth' that ONE person should do it all
for you when in fact we are a COMMUNITY species ... we always
had others to play with, to set up house with, to nuture children
with, to hunt and gather with ...
its no wonder people have mindless sex and women get post-partum
blues when they are expected to rely on ONE PERSON for EVERYTHING
for the REST OF THEIR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have a friend other than your spouse? then you're cheating.
Do you go to a movie with a buddy other than your spouse? cheater!
Do you go to lunch with a collegue at work? cheat. cheat. cheat.
So why is SEX any different? Because its supposed to be special?
NEWSFLASH! Its only 'special' if you saved it for that one person
you marry ... otherwise, sunshine, you've been giving it away like
the empties from your last party and its just as special as those
bottles!
whoopie!
Grow up. No one on this planet can meet all your needs ... act like
adults and accept it or get some therapy.
people 'cheat' because no one wants to read the same book,
eat the same meal, wear the same clothes, watch the same
movie, have the same conversation, for the rest of their lives.
second, there is this 'myth' that ONE person should do it all
for you when in fact we are a COMMUNITY species ... we always
had others to play with, to set up house with, to nuture children
with, to hunt and gather with ...
its no wonder people have mindless sex and women get post-partum
blues when they are expected to rely on ONE PERSON for EVERYTHING
for the REST OF THEIR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have a friend other than your spouse? then you're cheating.
Do you go to a movie with a buddy other than your spouse? cheater!
Do you go to lunch with a collegue at work? cheat. cheat. cheat.
So why is SEX any different? Because its supposed to be special?
NEWSFLASH! Its only 'special' if you saved it for that one person
you marry ... otherwise, sunshine, you've been giving it away like
the empties from your last party and its just as special as those
bottles!
whoopie!
Grow up. No one on this planet can meet all your needs ... act like
adults and accept it or get some therapy.
I WOULD GO ask a expert..
http://www.relationship-love.com/reviews/catchcheating.htm
or read about it.
http://www.insideaguysmind.com/
http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-be-the-perfect-girlfriend
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/couple/cheat/articles/0,,161284_158061,00.html
i found those links fun..
So if the wife was the one cheating on you with multiple partners, that would be okay with you?
If your in a sexless loveless marriage then get out of it. If your staying for the kids your not doing them any favor's. They will know all it not well. Life is too shot to live like that.
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A page from my book...
I guess I am not alone. This story is so much like mine. I did cheat on my wife once many years ago and I call it cheating because we became EMOTIONALLY involved.
That was many years ago, and since then the sex with my wife has slowly dwindled to NIL. She is 5 years older and maybe that is part of it, but she never really did have a high sex drive.
As one can really continue like this and starts thinking of options. First leaving is financially a bad idea, besides the other aspects of the relationship are ok. Finding another married woman for sex, married because she may not want to be emotionally involved either, is not easy and still haas a certain amout of risk. So for about 7 months I starting thinking that the best option was to seek an SP.
There is a detachment but yet a certain amount of, well a girlfriend experience with an SP. So finally a month ago I did seek my first SP. And it was as I thought it would be.
I was furfilled, and had a great time. The best part was that I came from it, NOT feeling that I had cheated. And it doesn't weigh on my mind, and I will continue.
Maybe I have thought about it so long, that I have 'rationalized it', but I do feel that in my case I am not cheating since I am not doing something that my wife is doing to me - so I am not taking something away from her.
I DO feel that I am cheating myself if I don't seek the sex that I am not getting. I can also get resentful towards my wife for NOT having sex with me, and that makes me feel MORE cheated.
So for me, and I speak for myself, this wokrs very well and I will continue for a while longer. However, I am also aware of the possibility that she may once again get the urge, and when she does, I'll be there and then I will LIKELY discontinue seeing SP's. Or I will have to consider the other options, because now it wouldbe cheating.
I hope this all makes sense
I guess I am not alone. This story is so much like mine. I did cheat on my wife once many years ago and I call it cheating because we became EMOTIONALLY involved.
That was many years ago, and since then the sex with my wife has slowly dwindled to NIL. She is 5 years older and maybe that is part of it, but she never really did have a high sex drive.
As one can really continue like this and starts thinking of options. First leaving is financially a bad idea, besides the other aspects of the relationship are ok. Finding another married woman for sex, married because she may not want to be emotionally involved either, is not easy and still haas a certain amout of risk. So for about 7 months I starting thinking that the best option was to seek an SP.
There is a detachment but yet a certain amount of, well a girlfriend experience with an SP. So finally a month ago I did seek my first SP. And it was as I thought it would be.
I was furfilled, and had a great time. The best part was that I came from it, NOT feeling that I had cheated. And it doesn't weigh on my mind, and I will continue.
Maybe I have thought about it so long, that I have 'rationalized it', but I do feel that in my case I am not cheating since I am not doing something that my wife is doing to me - so I am not taking something away from her.
I DO feel that I am cheating myself if I don't seek the sex that I am not getting. I can also get resentful towards my wife for NOT having sex with me, and that makes me feel MORE cheated.
So for me, and I speak for myself, this wokrs very well and I will continue for a while longer. However, I am also aware of the possibility that she may once again get the urge, and when she does, I'll be there and then I will LIKELY discontinue seeing SP's. Or I will have to consider the other options, because now it wouldbe cheating.
I hope this all makes sense
My response #1
Ropey: "So, it seems to me that you posted this thread in order to state what you think and not to find out anything."
The questions asked were genuine enquiries. The poll was more just for fun.
Yman: "If one truly loves their partner then it seems only proper that they bear the burden of their indiscretion and keep it to themselves. Or, if the cheater is confused as to their motivation for being unfaithful and they want advice I think it is best to seek help from a third party who will keep the matter confidential."
Despite the fact it may appear that the benefits of confessing is selfish and only appeases the guilt of the cheater, I disagree. I believe that the deception and dishonesty present a much larger problem than the cheating on its own. By lying, a REAL relationship wounded by cheating becomes a FACADE of a relationship built on something that isnt real. Where is the respect? Does it not make sense to give your partner, an adult, someone you love and respect, THE CHOICE, based on what is REAL, to be in a REAL relationship with you rather than making life choices based on lies? 3rd party pro help is a very good idea.
Ropey: "So, it seems to me that you posted this thread in order to state what you think and not to find out anything."
The questions asked were genuine enquiries. The poll was more just for fun.
Yman: "If one truly loves their partner then it seems only proper that they bear the burden of their indiscretion and keep it to themselves. Or, if the cheater is confused as to their motivation for being unfaithful and they want advice I think it is best to seek help from a third party who will keep the matter confidential."
Despite the fact it may appear that the benefits of confessing is selfish and only appeases the guilt of the cheater, I disagree. I believe that the deception and dishonesty present a much larger problem than the cheating on its own. By lying, a REAL relationship wounded by cheating becomes a FACADE of a relationship built on something that isnt real. Where is the respect? Does it not make sense to give your partner, an adult, someone you love and respect, THE CHOICE, based on what is REAL, to be in a REAL relationship with you rather than making life choices based on lies? 3rd party pro help is a very good idea.
