Of course there are girls out there that like Fuzzy. If they didn't, we wouldn't be reading his awesome reviews!
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Every John, Dick & Harry - CIM Syndrome.......
- Thread starter Bad Santa
- Start date
and then you wonder why guys always ask SPs for it, yet you call them disrespectful for asking what you consider a possibility or YMMV for any provider, and then guys like Bad Santa have to come on and remind ladies not to be pressured to offer it, not to mention the pressure he is insinuating if you do offer it. And to top it off you have SPs who clearly list BBBJs as an offer but reserve the right to decide which clients get it.
Can you understand why I roll my eyes, I mean it is just ridiculous.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with this Kendra! This post of yours should be required reading for any "newbie" SP. Knowing that they can set their own limits and be successful will help them to be better SPs in the long run because they'll be happier at what they're doing!I get what you are saying Bad Santa as I know you to be the type that doesn't intentionally diss anyone for their choices. When Elite was open to the public many of my new girls would come to me saying that they felt great amounts of pressure to do BBBJ or BBFS from many clients. It definitely happened to them more than the seasoned SPs - perhaps because of that 'newbie factor' and certain low-caliber men that sort of prey (if u will) on the new girls and enjoy pushing the envelope due to them being nieve. I will always vividly remember my very first session ever in the business. The man I saw was very insistent that I do BBBJ and BLS and would not take no for an answer. Trying to please him and not knowing my abilities/right to take control of the session, I engaged in BLS on him (not BBBJ) to which he was very rough with me and I did not enjoy it in the least (un-optimal hygiene on his balls, not trimmed, etc.). Sadly, that experience and a few more similar ones really damaged me a bit in the start for a while as I held onto it and contemplated quitting 100% for months thereafter. I think it has also impacted my enjoyment in providing BLS in general. After a short break, I came back with a new mindest that I would provide only what I was comfortable with, and would never allow pressure to ever sway my limits (from other SPs in duos or from other clients). I understand what you are trying to say
I am not against SPs offering BBBJ in general - women like VJ are intelligent and mature enough to have a better mindset for it, and to be able to be ok with their personal choices. I do agree though that new SPs should not feel that strong pressure as they are still easing into the concept of being an SP, and should be given the time to willfully decide what their restrictions are and what they feel most comfortable providing.
It is funny that after reading your very well written post and agreeing with you that the above line is whaqt is stuck in my mind....
To that I have to say, Oh yes! Ms Jolie, we shall meet someday!
I do not offer bbbj, period, but I do think even if women offer it openly or otherwise, that their bodies still belong to them and that they should be able to refuse certain services based on the hygiene and/or manners of the customer. Why are you people not seeing that women are not vending machines, but real people with real feelings?and then you wonder why guys always ask SPs for it, yet you call them disrespectful for asking what you consider a possibility or YMMV for any provider, and then guys like Bad Santa have to come on and remind ladies not to be pressured to offer it, not to mention the pressure he is insinuating if you do offer it. And to top it off you have SPs who clearly list BBBJs as an offer but reserve the right to decide which clients get it.
Can you understand why I roll my eyes, I mean it is just ridiculous.
That is what I meant by ymmv. Show up, clean, smelling good, and polite, you should get the services offered on the menu. Don't do that and then ymmv. Please don't make mountains out of molehills.
Are these your basis?
Correct me if I'm wrong "Is not YMMV= Your Mileage May Vary?"
yes, ymmv, is your mileage may vary. Which if someones a jerk, he should be shown the door. Usually, if someone is a jerk on the phone or email, he does not get to the door, lol. If someones hygiene is not up to par, but nice guy, then his services should be less. Which in one case would be no mileage in the other case it would be less mileage, no?
I think most people when talking about working girls only think of themselves and how they are, and assume everyone is like them, so deserve the same levels, ie bbbj, bs, or daty. I'm really nice and I really hate to hurt someones feelings. I have seen all levels of hygiene from really nice, socially awkward men. Sometimes, I don't want to traumatize them further by insisting that they have a second or even third shower. For example, I just recently decided to add Greek to my menu. In my ads, it says available to fun, respectful gentlemen. I shouldn't have to say that in my ad, it should be implied. I don't want rough, mean people seeing me at all, for anything.
Victoria, I'm really sorry that you're so upset about me stating my preferences on this review board. I want all SPs, not just newbies to be aware that many pooners prefer to see SPs who don't provide BBBJs. What's wrong with me stating this on a review board. It's a fact!
The pro-BBBJ boys constantly state their preference for girls who provide BBBJ service in their reviews and in this thread and no one says "peep" about it. Just one pooner states his preference for ladies who provide CBJs only and you react as if some crime has been committed.
Talk about a double standard. Sheesh!
The pro-BBBJ boys constantly state their preference for girls who provide BBBJ service in their reviews and in this thread and no one says "peep" about it. Just one pooner states his preference for ladies who provide CBJs only and you react as if some crime has been committed.
Talk about a double standard. Sheesh!
My guess is the people mad at you aren't mad at you for stating your opinion. It was how you chose to go about stating it. It came off as condescending as well as presumptuous. I am sure you never meant it to sound that way, but that is the way many interpretted it. It is way too easy for words to be misread online and meaning to be mis-interpretted. I understand your overall reason for posting this. I think some of the words you chose were not the best. As for myself, I tend to stick to the cbj providers, but I have seen bbbj providers as well. Heck I saw a few girls that started out as cbj providers but then changed to provide bbbj.
For those who think that any STI in the throat will show symtoms or will show up on tests, here is the Health Nurse's comments on this from the Health Information section of PERB:
I agree some of my wording in the OP may have been provocative and I have edited the most controversial part but I don't see where you get presumptuous or condescending from, DK.
And I don't see why I shouldn't use language that is somewhat provocative when discussing this subject as the risks involved are real and the pro-BBBJ boys have no problem being downright crude in some of their criticisms of SPs who will only provide CBJs.
And thank you for stating that you prefer CBJ providers. It doesn't seem to be very popular for pooners to admit to this preference because of all the vitriol people throw at those who do.
pre·sump·tu·ous 1. full of, characterized by, or showing presumption or readiness to presume in conduct or thought.
You had presumed that any SP that engages in bbbj would also provide bbfs for the right amount (I know that is the part you did edit out), but it was a big presumption on your part. There were also a few other presumptions in there as well.
con·de·scend·ing 1. showing or implying a usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority
The way in which you warned the providers that provide bbbj that all that was protecting them was luck came off as condescending to me. As well as a few other things. I agree with you, bbbj is definetly a riskier activity. The way you went about it came off as somewhat condescending to me though.
You're welcome. I am not shy about saying what I prefer and what I don't prefer on here. If people get upset about it, oh well. BTW, my post towards you was done without malice. I was just stating the way I saw it.
Thanks for the detailed critique DK, I'm flattered!
And I know you intended no malice. Believe me when I say I intend no malice toward SPs who provide BBBJ/CIM services either. Just want them to know, that if they are not totally OK with it, there are guys out here who will happily see them if they restrict their service to CBJ.
I was and am still quite hestitant to comment on this topic but I feel for Bad Santa who seems to be getting abit beaten up over this topic. I offer cbj myself but I understand what kendra was stating about the newbies very well. I'm still just coming up to my one year mark with my job and I can tell you for sure the amount of pressure I dealt with from my clients in the first months was like a storm, it was hard for me to resist saying no when I was trying to please them and also still un sure of what my 'duties' were as an sp. I have learned so much more not only about my body and regular types of female health like minor and common infections but also an incredible amount more about sti's and std's. I am not saying that I would try and convert any sp's who offer BB service since I literally can control nothing outside of my body and its not my place to tell anyone how to live their life or do their work. But I do appreciate the value of the topic being broached like I have many other topics that have been brought up here before. I learn alot from this board both in the lounge, health and review section about how to better my own work habits or health. I have no doubt that the sp's who offer BB service now have all the maturity and ability to research the possibilities that could arise, but none the less I find it helpful to talk about the entire spectrum of the pooner/sp experience. I can see how feathers get ruffled and I don't personally think the offering of BBBJ leads to BBFS by any means, I also don't think Bad santa truly meant it if he was willing to not only retract that part in his OP but also several times in comments back to members now to clarify his mistake in his OP.
Xo
Xo
Exactly....VJ is right, many that advertise CBJ certainly do offer BBBJ. To each their own......
well said
That's the problem; we have to look at the positives specially if it's coming from good guys
Sorry Bad Santa do not intend to hijack your thread. I can not quote each and everyone but each one have highlighted few good points:
-SP's can do as they wish and we can choose whom to see!
-SP's who offer BBBJ will not loose business neither those offering CBJ
-I believe "The risks involved in BBBJ are almost equal to those by DATY"
-SP's and hobbyist should enjoy and accept each others' differences
To each his own, for SP's just be honest about your services...don't prey or set hobbyist up (wrongfully advertise) to get more business you might win a session but you will loose a lot more...
-SP's can do as they wish and we can choose whom to see!
-SP's who offer BBBJ will not loose business neither those offering CBJ
-I believe "The risks involved in BBBJ are almost equal to those by DATY"
-SP's and hobbyist should enjoy and accept each others' differences
To each his own, for SP's just be honest about your services...don't prey or set hobbyist up (wrongfully advertise) to get more business you might win a session but you will loose a lot more...
