Of course it's a business. Men get that. But some men are not interested in seeing women who are mechanical and make no attempt to create the illusion that it is not just a business transaction.
Do you think it is tacky and tasteless when men review a woman and comment that she is not a clock watcher? Do you think there will be a sudden stampede of men who book for an hour of that womans time with every intention on staying for 90 minutes?
There are some men in this industry with bad intentions and motives as there are women.
Do you really think most of us are that bad?
Of course I can understand men aren't interested in seeing sp's who are mechanical but the question of social rates doesn't determine whether an sp is mechanical or not. Women are also not interested in seeing men whose expectations go beyond what they are comfortable offering and who confuse the nature of the exchange.
I don't think it's tacky to include that clock-watcher comment in a review as it says something important about service and attitude. Not being a clock watcher doesn't mean the client got to stay an extra 30 minutes. It refers mostly to her attitude and it just means he didn't feel rushed out the door before or exactly on the hour. Of course, there are still times when the person
does mean they stayed past their time and if they go out of their way to make it obvious the sp allowed them to stay 30min or 45min longer, for example, then yah - that is bragging and is also tacky and for sure she can expect there will be more than one guy who will be more likely to try to stay past his time too.
I don't think you're all that bad, I think that's kind of human nature. By making it sound like it was no big deal for her when he stayed longer, or that free dinner dates happen all the time and most sp's have no problem with it (and those who do have a problem are greedy and mechanical), men are just likely to assume she's ok with it so will expect and attempt to get the same (and feel offended if they get turned down). And in cases where she doesn't turn him down, it doesn't mean she isn't just going along because she felt bad or didn't know how to turn him down.
I never said I thought people would have bad intentions - just unfair and unrealistic expectations, which means it makes it harder for some sp's to set and have those boundaries respected. Boundaries are something that many people - and many sp's struggle with, especially in this line of work where the line is pretty blurry to begin with. Adding more confusion to the already blurry line leads to testing of boundaries, which is more added pressure no one needs. People aren't intentionally trying to push boundaries, they are just often unaware of them. This kind of thread, if no one questions it, result in confusion over boundaries - however well meaning the individual person is - that's just the way people are. So I'm the no-fun witch who just tries to remind people to consider these boundaries. lol
Anyway, I understand some of you may have a different perspective that considers only the client side - because you're clients and not sp's. I also realize some people are aware of boundaries and this thread won't change that but I also know some people, even if they don't have any bad intentions, don't really get it and this thread certainly could have re-enforced that. I'm just presenting you with the sp's side of it and how we may (or may not) be affected. That's all.
I think this post captures it all.....what more really needs to be said on this topic? Nicely written Vanesssa.
Totaly agree. That was very well said! :thumb: