Your House Smells Like a Sewer, and Other Tales of Romance

CLUB78

New member
Aug 30, 2013
368
1
0
27
So I found what I thought was an incredible deal on scented candles, and I bought a case. They seemed to smell okay, coconut lime, meh...better than the pumpkin, I guess, and who the hell wants candles that smell like basil & tomato? Anyways, I only have 15 minutes to finish shopping before I have to run off and do a million things, and there's the obligatory chat at the checkout which will take 10 minutes, so what the hell.

So I come home and put the candles everywhere around my incall, and ask Helga (think big German Florence from "The Jeffersons") to help me light them all, to which she responds with muttered Teutonic cursing she thinks I don't understand. The candle glow was lovely, until I'm told that my house smells like a sewer. I'm sniffing around and discover that when lit, the candles smell like burning cow shit. There's like 20 of them scattered around the place as well, so it really permeated.:(

At least it's gone now. However, if anyone wants their home to smell like burning dung, please contact me. :)
 

Poseidon

Mr. Controversy
Jul 21, 2003
576
0
16
Your place or mine?
Well that stinks like cow crap, I hope that case didn't cost too much. Why don't you return it and tell them how it smells like. :doh:
 

Justin Beaver

New member
Dec 4, 2011
302
1
0
Living vicariously through myself
So I found what I thought was an incredible deal on scented candles, and I bought a case. They seemed to smell okay, coconut lime, meh...better than the pumpkin, I guess, and who the hell wants candles that smell like basil & tomato? Anyways, I only have 15 minutes to finish shopping before I have to run off and do a million things, and there's the obligatory chat at the checkout which will take 10 minutes, so what the hell.

So I come home and put the candles everywhere around my incall, and ask Helga (think big German Florence from "The Jeffersons") to help me light them all, to which she responds with muttered Teutonic cursing she thinks I don't understand. The candle glow was lovely, until I'm told that my house smells like a sewer. I'm sniffing around and discover that when lit, the candles smell like burning cow shit. There's like 20 of them scattered around the place as well, so it really permeated.:(

At least it's gone now. However, if anyone wants their home to smell like burning dung, please contact me. :)
You know,some guys might be into that,maybe ones from the prairies for example...you might be able to charge extra for that...
 

Cami Parker

Beautiful Blonde Dream Girl
Mar 7, 2013
2,105
59
63
Vancouver, BC
www.camiparker.ca
The body shop candles are best. They are soy, they look elegant, and all the scents they come in are made to compliment eachother so you can et as many different ones as you like. They smell lovely and natural as well, not chemically, like some of the cheap ones...
 

Cami Parker

Beautiful Blonde Dream Girl
Mar 7, 2013
2,105
59
63
Vancouver, BC
www.camiparker.ca
Yeaa... Unfortunately so e times you get what you pay for.., I used to think the 3 wick candles from Bath&Body Works were sooo spendy, but they're totally worth it too.... You can actually smell them when lit, unlike some, and they come in "collection" that you can select from, all of which compliment eachother
 

badbadboy

Well-known member
Nov 2, 2006
9,547
300
83
In Lust Mostly
+ 1 on the diffuser V! I put on relaxing scents in the PM and invigorating scents during work hours. Works for me.

To the OP, you may find a whole new clientele to tap into who enjoy the smell of dung :pound: J K
 

*emmanuelle

Victoria, B.C.
Aug 1, 2008
818
19
18
The body shop candles are best. They are soy, they look elegant
Yes! Body Shop candles are amazing. I'm burning a Sandlewood & Ginger one literally right now. It's sooooo nice and relaxing, with none of that "chemically" smell that you get from plug-in air fresheners.
 

UhOh

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2011
2,054
487
83
Do women make stinky candle smell in their place for men that visit or for women that might visit?
If a lady want to impress me with a smell then how about some fresh cut pine, other than that don't bother.
 
Do women make stinky candle smell in their place for men that visit or for women that might visit?
If a lady want to impress me with a smell then how about some fresh cut pine, other than that don't bother.

So what are you saying. Our attempts to woo you with vanilla candles and scented lotions is wasted on you?

Just the gentle scent of Pine sol from our clean floors is sufficient???
 

UhOh

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2011
2,054
487
83

Just the gentle scent of Pine sol from our clean floors is sufficient???
Clean floors are appreciated but when it comes to pine, the kind that grows out of the ground not the toxic labeled nauseous chemical version poured from a vat.
 

Tugela

New member
Oct 26, 2010
1,913
1
0
Clean floors are appreciated but when it comes to pine, the kind that grows out of the ground not the toxic labeled nauseous chemical version poured from a vat.
The smell you smell is the same stuff. Being made in plant or being made in a factory doesn't change that.
 

UhOh

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2011
2,054
487
83
The smell you smell is the same stuff. Being made in plant or being made in a factory doesn't change that.
Chew on a piece of real pine for a minute and then pour a cap full of pine sol in your mouth and tell me its all the same
 

*emmanuelle

Victoria, B.C.
Aug 1, 2008
818
19
18
Do women make stinky candle smell in their place for men that visit or for women that might visit?
If a lady want to impress me with a smell then how about some fresh cut pine, other than that don't bother.
I think scented candles/aromatherapy have the potential to be really useful in this industry. Smells like peppermint, chamomile, vanilla and lavender are very relaxing and I think can help make nervous clients feel subconsciously more at ease in a new and potentially scary situation. Likewise for women; sex is better (orgasm is easier) when we're relaxed. Soft, flickering candles and calming aromas are a great help!
 
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