wishy washy women who don't know what they want

[Aerts]

I recently broke up with a lady who I thought was the full package. Educated, smart, beautiful, Scottish, had her own money, etc. I thought this was it. Long story short, she starts ignoring my calls and blowing me off, then feeding me BS about being so busy and very unsure of us as a couple. She said she "doesn't believe in casual relationships," and asks me if I am in this with my head or my heart. I say my heart. Then I get lines about how that's sweet and all but she "needs space to figure things out" because "being so busy, and very unsure of things, and not believing in casual relationships isn't the best situation to be in..."

After all of that, I just told her I'll leave the ball in her court and wait to hear from her. Big shocker, I didn't hear back from her.

This is why I am on perb. WTF is wrong with women today? I'm ALMOST done giving a shit and am starting to see them as objects only good for banging. The names and faces change, the bullshit is the same.

 

[chilli]

http://phocks.org/stumble/husband-store.php

Alinburnaby, Gods honest truth you are the coolest person on the planet.

 

[Gomez Adams]

I think men are just as confused

LOL no kidding

I am mostly just bewildered, but having such a great time. I love women!

 

[FloridaGuy]

I can't get over the fact that you think being Scottish is part of the full package. WTF??

 

[oh3421]

Did you tell her that you see SPs? Perhaps a casual lifestyle is not a match for a woman looking into a serious relationship?
There is nothing wrong with a casual lifestyle, but you will have to find female partners who share that philosophy...good luck with that

 

[badbadboy]

In regard to the OP. I was talking with a friend in her mid twenties recently. She also thought she had found one 'worthy' of a potential relationship. Things were moving along nicely, activities together, dates and everything. Basically hanging out a lot together and enjoying each others company.

So what did this guy do to blow it you wonder?

Invites her out to one of the nicest restaurants in Vancouver and insists on ordering for both of them. Couple of bottles of wine, after dinner drinks etc etc.

Then announces he wants to split the bill. Huge bill too.

W T F was he thinking?

I just don't get some guys and where their heads are at with regards to women, at least the ones they obviously want to be with in a LTR.

IS this a generational thing? Do guys stick the women with going dutch at the last minute or is it still common practise with the 20 and 30 somethings?

So my question to the OP is did you treat her nicely, pay for her meals or ??

 

[87112]

Date a NYC woman, they are tougher ( seeing the subway pretty much everyday will do that to you). They are use to walking a lot, dirty sidewalks, ghetto neighborhoods etc. Too many prima donnas here. Its like a cocoon after a while In BC.

 

[vancity_cowboy]

I've seen this before. Lol .

...tell the truth now, you've BEEN there before... to the 6th floor lol...

 

[Bartdude]

Someone isn't handling rejection very well....

Maybe instead of blaming her, try looking at yourself and figure out if there was something you might have done that caused her to change towards you. It's always easier to point the finger at someone else isn't it?

Someone is being an asshole.

 

[Gomez Adams]

Date a NYC woman, they are tougher ( seeing the subway pretty much everyday will do that to you). They are use to walking a lot, dirty sidewalks, ghetto neighborhoods etc. Too many prima donnas here. Its like a cocoon after a while In BC.

I want a farm girl who is used to getting up at 5am, milking and feeding the cows, can throw a square bale over her shoulder, gather the eggs and fix a full breakfast and help her man all day toiling in the fields and then have sex with him because she knows it will help him sleep because she still needs to do all the laundry and the dishes.

 

[hugedman]

I recently broke up with a lady who I thought was the full package. Educated, smart, beautiful, Scottish, had her own money, etc. I thought this was it.....

I admire your humour, Aerts..., I don't know if there is actually any one can be considered as "the full package"...everyone has his/her shortcomings..., in this case, it's just that you have not yet discovered her flaws yet...good luck

 

[Pillowtalk]

How? Instead of coddling him like some other members I'm suggesting that he take this as an opportunity to learn something or identify areas of self-improvement? That's usually a positive.

It takes two, after all.

 

[Pillowtalk]

I will predicate this post by saying I have a SO who I am incredibly happy with......but I think the OP is expressing a point most men have heard repeatedly.

Modern women have the ability to choose between the "traditional female" or the "modern female" depending on their needs & the circumstances. If a woman is dating, she will use the "traditional female" role to have the male cover the costs of her food, drink, etc. If the traditional male ever questions such acts she will turn on the "modern female" role where she exclaims with indignation "I pay my own way". In the whole scheme of things the "I pay my own way" rant is sort of laughable. Claiming that is like saying "I pay my bills". Do you need a cookie and a prize when you pay your mortgage or your car payment?

Gold digging women like to believe they are in control of the situation, much like some SP's believe men gave them more respect when they become SP's. The reality that gold diggers won't admit is that they're in a constant state of depreciation. When a woman uses her tits and pussy as a tool to attract and control men, she's in a constant state of "decline" from age 25. As you get older, there is always some new sugar babe to replace you. But as males get older, their earning ability increases and they have more money. So a man at 45 is worth substantially more than a man at 35 even if the 35 year old has a tight ass & nice pecs.

It's a lot like leasing a car. One leases a car and at the end of the lease they trade it in and acquire a newer model. If you're going to make monthly payments you might as well pay for something as current as possible. Same goes for women. If you want to play sugar babe, do so, but recognize you ARE just like that car to a male. If you think you're winning you're incredibly misguided.

You know, the common refrain about males is that they (and their needs) are simple and basic. This is a very accurate statement. The problem is that too many women believe that their "simple needs" = simple mind which is not the case. It might take a dude a few months but he'll figure out what he's worth...which is why the whole "Sugar" thing never works long term. In the end the man simply "trades up".

So to the OP I say this, why be upset? If that women isn't willing to accept your kindness and generosity, move on dude. As time passes it won't be you that ends up with the short end of the stick.

Interesting (tho flawed) theory, but wtf is it relevant about the OP's initial post? He starts right out saying she's got her own income, plus is a pretty good catch AND Scottish. Nowhere does he describe all the stuff he got her, the money he spent on her, blah blah. In other words, you posted this based on nothing at all, and nothing whatever to do with OP's information.

And re: the OP. it isn't that she doesn't know what she wants --- it is that she knows what she doesn't want. It is better to end something she couldn't see it going anywhere rather than stick with it in a pointless way. I guess she was looking for something you didn't bring to the table, OR she didn't feel she could be the one who brought that out in you. It is possible you will both be better people with other people, unless you get all judgmental, blaming, and bitter about this relationship like some do. Then it will poison everything you do. Better to let it go and learn from it.

 

[rampart]

This is interesting as the same thing happened to me a year ago with someone I thought was the ideal match for me. Looking back at some of the conversations where she said "she was screwed up and how could I love her and I am not as desirable as you think I am" I realized that her lack of calling me back to just even say hi was a note of mental instability.

Since her I have met a few other women which included a couple of kooks, I realize that those that will call me without waiting for me to call them are the only ones that I want to be with. The ones that say I will call you back and never do I am sort of glad they don't.

I look for equality in a relationship and balance. I do not mind offering support when necessary as I hope the same will be returned. Excessive leaning or neediness is out for me.

Take a break and cultivate some other interests for yourself.

 

[InTheBum]

I recently broke up with a lady who I thought was the full package. Educated, smart, beautiful, Scottish, had her own money, etc. I thought this was it. Long story short, she starts ignoring my calls and blowing me off, then feeding me BS about being so busy and very unsure of us as a couple. She said she "doesn't believe in casual relationships," and asks me if I am in this with my head or my heart. I say my heart. Then I get lines about how that's sweet and all but she "needs space to figure things out" because "being so busy, and very unsure of things, and not believing in casual relationships isn't the best situation to be in..."

After all of that, I just told her I'll leave the ball in her court and wait to hear from her. Big shocker, I didn't hear back from her.

This is why I am on perb. WTF is wrong with women today? I'm ALMOST done giving a shit and am starting to see them as objects only good for banging. The names and faces change, the bullshit is the same.

Sounds to me, like she is unsure about you as a life partner. Meaning, you don't "fit" her perfect lifelong mate checklist perfectly. I highly suggest moving on, and forget about this stupid bitch asap...lots of fish in the sea...

 

[bingo]

April, men really are simple beings. Tomorrow, is a day that demonstrates that. Beer, Food, Game, woman willing to share that and have sex afterward - - that's a man's definition of perfect.

A coulpe key things you left out
hockey gear cleaned and ready to go
dirt bikes serviced

 

[lenny]

This is why I am on perb. WTF is wrong with women today? I'm ALMOST done giving a shit and am starting to see them as objects only good for banging. The names and faces change, the bullshit is the same.

Perhaps since snagging you her stock, in her own estimation, has risen,
and now she's getting greedy and shooting for the next level. Could
just be a control freak, too. As in most women want commitment,
dedication and monogamy out of a man, besides everything else,
including his soul.

 

[maroonedsailor]

I say consider yourself lucky. Being in love with someone who discovers after tying the knot that they do NOT love you after all sucks far worse than being dumped. Try to understand that it isn't about YOU. Rejection is never personal, pervasive or permanent. It just feels like it at the time.

 

[maroonedsailor]

I know it's easy to feel cynical at this point, Aerts.

But you can't paint all women with the same brush.

I was in the same shoes, thinking a relationship with a good man was not possible for me.. (all the good ones are married or attached, right?).
I knew there was something about me that was attracting the wrong kind of man. So I quit dating. I realized that to attract the man I wanted I had to BE the kind of person I wanted to date. I knew I needed to have a different attitude.

I really was amazed when I decided to date again and this strategy actually worked

There ARE people out there that can be the right fit for you.
Obviously this woman you speak of was not. You may have had your heart broken but take heed at what it was about her that didn't work for you. She didn't choose you, for whatever reason (don't believe her excuses). She needed time to know you enough to make that decision. Just like you will take time making yours and if you decide the girl you're with ultimately isn't 'the one', well then, you will say goodbye to her, right?

Dating sucks, but you don't have to make it so painful for yourself. It really is a 'numbers game'. The more people you take the time to get to know, the more likely you will find her. When things don't work out with someone, take a bit of time off then get up, brush yourself off and yell: 'NEXT!' Keep trying.

You'll get better at pinpointing the characteristics of the kind of woman who is right for you. Take responsibility for your part in the decision to date someone. Expect that there will be things you need to compromise on. Human beings are not perfect.. the ones that think they are will expect perfection from you, btw (which is what I think the problem was with the girl who dumped you). If you want someone to accept you as is, you have to be willing to accept the flaws in them too. Relationship can not exist without compromise.

Have faith that it's possible to have what you want, otherwise you will not be open to the possibilities when the perfect girl for you is right in front of you. You need to have a really open mind and believe in your ability to attract to you what you seek.

Good luck and please don't give up...
Love is a wonderful thing!

xoxoxoxo

Nina, love must be working for you - you get smarter every time you post ;-) I'm sorry we've never met