Who did you become, after your heartbreak?

[dipsett]

after that 1st heartbreak break up, what did you do and who did you become?

how do you go about preventing future heartbreaks.

As for me i became more real , it made me focus more on myself and i realized real happiness can only come from within

At the end of the day i dont hate her , she was my best friend at one point but I had to learn and the world had to teach me ...

Some core lessons I've learned are

1. I am in control
2. I am expected to be the leader
3. Women react to men, so if she loses interest it's probably my fault
4. Always work on making yourself more attractive

 

[rlock]

I learned to say "fuck the world" and became a paranoid misanthrope...






... well, more of a paranoid misanthrope. :loco:

 

[sevenofnine]

have a beer and cry in my beer.
eventually the thought comes to me

it is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.

I think its true.
a man who has never loved, is kind of a silly man.

 

[Lady Companion]

I've always found heartbreak to be bitter sweet.

There is something beautiful about being vulnerable and open. Rarely do we feel as intensely and deeply as we do during the first few days and weeks of heartbreak. There is something beautiful about coming to a remembrance of who we are as an individual, without factoring in another person. There is a peculiar beauty in deep emotional pain. It is so authentic, and this allows us to reconnect with ourselves and grow into an even better version of who we are.

The primary lesson I have embodied is that there is only one thing we have 100% control over. That is how we choose to see a situation, what we take from it, and how we let it change us.

Remember the good times and appreciate the struggles, because that is how the deepest character is forged.

 

[Equity Market investor]

how do you go about preventing future heartbreaks.

That's easy. Stay single.

I'm not into the " game playing " which most are so....you don't become naive after awhile. Connect with yourself and you will know you, and eventually end up giving more because of your happiness. I haven't found that. ...probably never will but.....I just know that.

What hurts you makes you stronger.

 

[athaire]

Heartbreak........such a deep and meaningful topic. Having been the victim and criminal in Heartbreak i know one thing for sure.
If you give up on love and put up a wall you will never know true happiness. It is only by being vulnerable that we can truly appreciate love and the hurt that comes with it.

 

[Equity Market investor]

If you give up on love and put up a wall you will never know true happiness.

With all due respect. .....thats bullshit and I disagree. Over love, People have lost their mind and have killed. That's not happiness! !

Love is just a word. Its the emotion, chemical reaction in our body at the end of the day. I've been on both ends myself .....in deep love twice, and both ended with heart - breaking break ups. Nothing wrong with having a partner, caring for her etc etc. But you have to be happy with yourself before you can transport that to anyone one else. If your a miserable fuck to begin with. ...all negative etc etc......im pretty darn sure no lady with a working brain would want to be with you for the long run.

Showing possessiviness and insecurity also works against you. There's a shit load more involved to make a long lasting relationship work. Not just " love ". That wears out eventually as time goes on.

People would think twice about affairs if " love " was termed as you see it. As i said, I respect your view and in a perfect world, that would be concrete, but we're not in a perfect world. Im not saying that I am correct but....that is how I see the wheel spinning.

Cheers

 

[athaire]

Lol. Hard to argue

 

[johnsmit]

Athaire your box is full
Not something I generally say to a guy lol

 

[six1961xis]

I've become more cautious as I've gone through several heartaches & break-ups over ~35 years.
its an inch-by-inch back-and-forth for trust/intimacy to grow (or fade); sometimes it takes years.
I will write someone off quicker now if they've breached a trust.
also I go with my gut feelings more.

from Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now" about love:

"But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away"

 

[Shilly]

3. Women react to men, so if she loses interest it's probably my fault

I think you're being a little hard on yourself here.

You should always be whoever the fuck you want to be. It's not your fault when a girl loses interest in you, it just means the two of you have differing interests.

If you want to be a pooner for the rest of your life, then be a pooner for the rest of your life. There a guys on here who have long term relationships with woman who knowingly know and participate with their pooning life. There are woman who interested enough with their partners that they accept their hobbies and love them more for it.

Figure out what the fuck you want from life, don't blame yourself for losing a relationship. You have to find what and who is right for you. Just make sure to go full throttle when you find it/her, be passionate and engulf yourself in it.

 

[athaire]

Athaire your box is full
Not something I generally say to a guy lol

Thx.....empty now.

 

[manni]

I became more aware that single life isn't bad at all.
most of my close friends are married (including my brother) and I'm the only one of my group not attached.
I wonder at times if my buds are genuinely happy w the whole marriage racket?

long-term relationships (I've had a few) are the hardest to get over simply
because of the strong emotions that are invested in it. I just kept busy with work and discovered
AMPs (thank God these places and comfort women exist) to ease the heartache and u know what…IT DOES!

definitely happy being unattached. I'm early 50's now but people think I'm late 30's or early 40's.
a regular visit to your local AMP will do that. just what the doctor ordered.

 

[76duster]

After 1997, I resolved to fuck as many girls as possible, no matter what future relationship I was in, even if it meant cheating, even if it meant paying for it.

In 2001, I had 2 girlfriends that didn't know about each other, I would go from dinner+sex with one and bed+sex with another to end the night, and this would happen over and over for about a good 9 months until one of them broke up with me - but I was already working on another. I might've even fucked 3 (non-working) girls in a period of time, I don't recall it was all a haze. This would be about the only time I didn't hire working girls on a regular basis.

Since that time I've had so many female sex partners I've lost count. When I say "sex partners", I mean ones I've not had to use a condom with because to me condom sex is not real sex.

 

[uncleg]

As time went on & life experience taught me what dirty pigs 99.999% of men truly are... It made My job so much easier (and enjoyable) :thumb:

......well, maybe if you had had a working shower......:lol::high5:

 

[PuntMeister]

If life gives you pigs...

.....make Bacon! Oink!

Bacon is the best cure for breakups, IMHO.

 

[PuntMeister]

Fuk Vegan, eat Bacon.

Live large.

Love LARGER.

Be Vulnerable.

Get over your losses...
...with a little help from our porcine friends.

-Punt.

 

[athaire]

My heart breaks made me the man i am lol. Flawed and jaded.

 

[Larry Storch]

As time went on & life experience taught me what dirty pigs 99.999% of men truly are... It made My job so much easier (and enjoyable) :thumb:

Evidently you have been associating with the wrong people.

I can't help but observe that if I were to make such a broad, all-inclusive statement regarding women; I'd be labeled a misogynistic. Or a racist if the statement was directed toward anyone of a specific ethnic origin. Am I overstepping any bounds by suggesting that statement is misandry?

Another observation: During my years of experience in BDSM, I have encountered a number of women who portray themselves as Dommes. In reality many of these women just have a shitty attitude toward men and have parlayed that into a source of income. Now, while that is definitely a clever example of "When life hands you lemons etc.", the down side is that there is the potential for harm.
The Domme/sub relationship is based entirely on trust. Some people aren't aware, but the sub is actually the one in control as to how far the session will go and the Domme will stop when that point is reached.
Putting that level of trust in someone who has a biased view of men would be extremely foolish.

 

[Cami Parker]

OMG
So much this. I always say this and noone ever seems to understand what I mean. Thank you for that

Heartbreak........such a deep and meaningful topic. Having been the victim and criminal in Heartbreak i know one thing for sure.
If you give up on love and put up a wall you will never know true happiness. It is only by being vulnerable that we can truly appreciate love and the hurt that comes with it.