Given that it is award show season, thought I would chime in with awards from the latest VIP event. Enjoy, I certainly did.
Nobel Prize- The greatest contribution to the social condition was made by the terminally cute Jules. While we are all used to being greeted by a handshake or a quasi-kiss, Jules introduced “motorboating” as her means of saying hi to everyone. Imagine, instead of introducing yourself to a lady by shaking hands it became common place to place your face between her breasts and flapping your lips to make that lovely engine sound. And guys with man-boobs will now have an advantage. Thank-you Jules and I won’t rest until the rest of the world takes up your plan for greeting by motor-boating.
“Smexy” Award- I spent the first half of the party admiring the many magnificent physical attributes of the lovely Priya. Closer to the conclusion, I had a great conversation on all sorts of meaningful topics that didn’t include her boobs and I even maintained some level of eye contact. Her intelligence coupled with her looks and attitude earns her the highly coveted title of smexy (smart and sexy).
“Wow” Award- Every time the horny devil (a costume that was pure evil genius) Caprice passed by you could hear/see the lads saying, ‘Wow.”
The “Twins” Prize- It’s not what you think. This one goes to Rubi and Harvi who reprise the role that Danny and Arnold made famous. They play the role of sisters separated at birth who come together to serve men in their hour of need by opening a house of pure pleasure.
The “I’ll Take Care of Yark Award”- A tie with Monique and Kenzie sharing the spotlight and going the extra mile to keep a big grin on Yark’s face.
The “I’m to Sexy for my Shirt Prize”- And the winner is Mila who was too sexy for her shirt, so she took it off. If only she had realized that she was also too sexy for her bra and panties.
The “I’ll be Yours” Prize- Seductress Rylie was wearing a sweet outfit with the embroidered message “Be Mine.” In what could only be described as a Zen like moment, athaire revealed the message on his underwear that stated “I’ll be Rylie’s.”
The “Mighty Aphrodite” Award- Congratulations to Lexxy whose inspirational and award winning costume made me start thinking of Aphrodite and left me thinking about the goddess Lexxy.
The “Distinguished Service” Award- Normally when you get a beer, all you get is the beer. The bubbly and beautiful Kelli delivered a beer with an added “snuggle.” While snuggles vary by jurisdiction Kelli’s often included a gentle flirtive (a new word made up for the occasion) massage and a reassuring butt squeeze. That’s service!
The “Excuse me Butt…” Award- Soon to be renamed the Gerri Prize after the “buttacular” Gerri who left just enough to the imagination to understand why all best butt awards should have her name.
The “Bark at the Moon” Award- Luna had the entire room thinking, “moonshots.” Gorgeous woman- her smile lights up the room way more than sunshine.
The “Nice Pillows” Award- Again, it’s not what you think. Bridget, sweet and sexy, won the pillow fight competition and also won her way into the hearts of those lads who like to get physical, in an Olivia-Newton John sort of way.
Nobel Prize- The greatest contribution to the social condition was made by the terminally cute Jules. While we are all used to being greeted by a handshake or a quasi-kiss, Jules introduced “motorboating” as her means of saying hi to everyone. Imagine, instead of introducing yourself to a lady by shaking hands it became common place to place your face between her breasts and flapping your lips to make that lovely engine sound. And guys with man-boobs will now have an advantage. Thank-you Jules and I won’t rest until the rest of the world takes up your plan for greeting by motor-boating.
“Smexy” Award- I spent the first half of the party admiring the many magnificent physical attributes of the lovely Priya. Closer to the conclusion, I had a great conversation on all sorts of meaningful topics that didn’t include her boobs and I even maintained some level of eye contact. Her intelligence coupled with her looks and attitude earns her the highly coveted title of smexy (smart and sexy).
“Wow” Award- Every time the horny devil (a costume that was pure evil genius) Caprice passed by you could hear/see the lads saying, ‘Wow.”
The “Twins” Prize- It’s not what you think. This one goes to Rubi and Harvi who reprise the role that Danny and Arnold made famous. They play the role of sisters separated at birth who come together to serve men in their hour of need by opening a house of pure pleasure.
The “I’ll Take Care of Yark Award”- A tie with Monique and Kenzie sharing the spotlight and going the extra mile to keep a big grin on Yark’s face.
The “I’m to Sexy for my Shirt Prize”- And the winner is Mila who was too sexy for her shirt, so she took it off. If only she had realized that she was also too sexy for her bra and panties.
The “I’ll be Yours” Prize- Seductress Rylie was wearing a sweet outfit with the embroidered message “Be Mine.” In what could only be described as a Zen like moment, athaire revealed the message on his underwear that stated “I’ll be Rylie’s.”
The “Mighty Aphrodite” Award- Congratulations to Lexxy whose inspirational and award winning costume made me start thinking of Aphrodite and left me thinking about the goddess Lexxy.
The “Distinguished Service” Award- Normally when you get a beer, all you get is the beer. The bubbly and beautiful Kelli delivered a beer with an added “snuggle.” While snuggles vary by jurisdiction Kelli’s often included a gentle flirtive (a new word made up for the occasion) massage and a reassuring butt squeeze. That’s service!
The “Excuse me Butt…” Award- Soon to be renamed the Gerri Prize after the “buttacular” Gerri who left just enough to the imagination to understand why all best butt awards should have her name.
The “Bark at the Moon” Award- Luna had the entire room thinking, “moonshots.” Gorgeous woman- her smile lights up the room way more than sunshine.
The “Nice Pillows” Award- Again, it’s not what you think. Bridget, sweet and sexy, won the pillow fight competition and also won her way into the hearts of those lads who like to get physical, in an Olivia-Newton John sort of way.