Question for both Providers and Clients. Have you ever told a regular they were fired, or do you just stop communicating with them?

[RedDragon64]

Basically like the title says.

It's common to have regulars that you see for a long time, and sometimes you decide to stop seeing them.

For providers it could be that are regular client suddenly starts pushing boundaries, asking for discounts, making racist, or chauvinistic comments, or maybe drops his hygiene standards.

For clients it could be that your regular provider suddenly starts acting entitled and pestering you for gifts/money, or her service standards slip, or you just don't feel as attracted to her any more.

The circumstances can vary a lot, and that will probably affect how you cut things off with your regular. So the question is, do you tell your regular why you are going to stop seeing them, or just stop communicating with them?

Thanks for your comments.

 

[jamasianman]

This industry is unique in that you don't have to say why you don't revisit. You can just stop seeing her and she can duck your communications too. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Its no strings attached. If you have a vanilla explanation for not seeing her like you got a new girlfriend, you're moving, you're saving up for a vacay, you can let her know. If its something awkward like politics or something else just cease communications.

 

[milemiles]

There are zero benefits for an SW to tell a client they are not going to see them anymore and many many negatives if they were to do this.

 

[ExpCharlee]

Yep I tell them exactly the fuck why. It’s extremely satisfying. I often say “try again in a year”. It’s worked well.

 

[Fiona]

Basically like the title says.

It's common to have regulars that you see for a long time, and sometimes you decide to stop seeing them.

For providers it could be that are regular client suddenly starts pushing boundaries, asking for discounts, making racist, or chauvinistic comments, or maybe drops his hygiene standards.

For clients it could be that your regular provider suddenly starts acting entitled and pestering you for gifts/money, or her service standards slip, or you just don't feel as attracted to her any more.

The circumstances can vary a lot, and that will probably affect how you cut things off with your regular. So the question is, do you tell your regular why you are going to stop seeing them, or just stop communicating with them?

Thanks for your comments.

Yes I tell them exactly why , it’s takes a pretty big jerk move to become an ex client so I feel it’s absolutely necessary to be truthful so maybe they act differently going forward .

 

[LLLurkJ2]

Yes I tell them exactly why , it’s takes a pretty big jerk move to become an ex client so I feel it’s absolutely necessary to be truthful so maybe they act differently going forward .

Unfortunately I'm going to guess that you don't get a lot of 'reformed' repeats

 

[Fiona]

Unfortunately I'm going to guess that you don't get a lot of 'reformed' repeats

Oh you’d be very surprised when you’re up front with people how when given a while to reflect on their behaviour & how much they’ve lost by losing me they absolutely ask for another chance. Usually a while passes , I encourage them to seek someone who suits them, they try , usually they’re back apologizing.
Depends what the issue is , if it’s haggling about money or pushing my boundaries, I won’t change my mind .
Many men will even say , “I know I’m a jerk , please accept a financial offering to make amends .
At this stage of the game for me I don’t like flip flopping & fighting with clients , no time or energy for that , as long as it’s mutually beneficial and respectful it shall continue 😊

 

[westwoody]

Oh you’d be very surprised when you’re up front with people

Someone called me out and at first I was indignant. Later realised she did me a big favour.

Robbie Burns wrote God graced us with the gift not to see ourselves as others see us. So sometimes it takes an outsider to point out something that needs to be addressed.

 

[westwoody]

There are zero benefits for an SW to tell a client they are not going to see them anymore and many many negatives if they were to do this.

Yeah a guy could post “She sent me this shitty email what a bitch” but her side is totally justified.

 

[ExpCharlee]

Unfortunately I'm going to guess that you don't get a lot of 'reformed' repeats

enough to make it worth it.

 

[Rollingstar]

I’ve dropped a regular because she didn’t change the bed sheets in between clients when there’s THREE obvious fresh wet spots and I’m not sure if she even showered… Back to back clients is fine but I found it to be very disrespectful for the next client.

 

[luvsdaty]

I've always been respectful in my leaving, always leaving the door open for a possible return? And I've actually returned to a few regulars and picked up were we left off.

 

[vanperb]

I'm pretty sure I've been ghosted at least a couple of times. I found out one had started developing feelings for me, and it was problem given she was in a committed long term relationship.
I've stopped seeing ladies before it's usually because service level drop substantially. More than likely it's because they've reached an elite price point and I feel disrespectful asking for a grandfathered rate.

One time I stopped seeing a lady after she posted an Instagram photo of her nightly earnings on a bed spread. It was well earned, I have no doubt of that, but something about that just turned me off.
One time a lady I saw regularly got piercings that ruined her look for me.

It's a shallow business and I take comfort in the fact that no SP has ever gone out of business because of the lack of my business. There are plenty of johns out there, and plenty of SP's as well.

 

[RedDragon64]

I've been a client for over 30 years so I have let a few regulars go over the years. Like I mentioned in the opening post there can be a lot of reasons for deciding to stop seeing a regular. Often the decision comes much later after a booking and on reflection you decide to just move on, and it doesn't seem like it warrants "giving notice".

One example for me was that a regular I had been seeing for over a year suddenly took interest in my "man boobs", and kept squeezing them and joking about getting a bra for me. I wasn't very upset at the time, (even though I had been trying to diet and exercise them away). But I did reflect on it later and consider that it was a bit insensitive of her to be fat shaming me, and that it would not have gone over well if the situation had been reversed. I had more than one regular at the time (I usually do), so I just prioritized my other regulars over her.

An example of a time I did speak up was with a regular who I had been seeing for 2 years. This was in Singapore where the game is a bit different and it's common to book for an entire afternoon (so lunch, play time, walking/shopping, etc). It was common for me to buy her clothes, jewelry, perfume, and other gifts which were typically less than $100. There was a CK watch she liked that was $400 and she had hinted several times that she'd like it, and I told her I'd give it some thought. Then one day in the middle of a booking she suddenly decided I had to buy her the watch... right now (the shop was only a few blocks away). She was quite insistent on it, and began acting a bit entitled about it. I finally gave in, and we walked over to the shop and I reluctantly bought her the watch. Afterwards I suggested we walk around a bit, but she said, "no you can go now". I assured her that we still had plenty of time before I needed to go home, but she insisted on "dismissing me". That was my limit. I told her I hope she enjoyed her watch and that it was worth it because she had just lost me as both a client and friend.

 

[westwoody]

Ouch…that must have been awful.
Many ladies whine nonstop on twitter about stuff they want. It is an ugly look for them.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Yes, I have. Many years ago, there was a local lady who I was seeing regularly. Without going into all the details within the next year it got really weird. Plus, it turns out she was a drunk which I can't stand. There was even an incident when we ran into each other at an unrelated social event (Winnipeg can be a very small town at times).
Anyway, I did have to fire her and unfortunately in a fairly harsh manner so she would get the message.

Cheers
J

 

[zippy45]

Are you all Trump wannabees?
she is a girl you pay for sex, just quit messaging her, trust me you ae gonna miss her more than she misses you(wallet)

 

[Mr. J]

I've stopped communication with two ladies I used to see. One said something that made me rethink going to see her, and the other decided it was appropriate to take calls during a session.

 

[rlock]

There are zero benefits for an SW to tell a client they are not going to see them anymore and many many negatives if they were to do this.

Ghosting people is worse. Aside from just disrespect, it doesn't actually terminate communication. Assuming the other person "just knows" they are being deliberately ignored is a mistake; it could be interpreted as almost anything. Leaving someone hanging does not clear anything up.

Many people given no information will just keep seeking that information. In some cases, relentlessly, because ambiguity triggers some manic spiral, made worse if it is something time-sensitive like setting up an appointment or not.
Better to just destroy that ambiguity with clarity.

There's other ways to send a clear, but polite message that there will be no more messages. Diplomatic, but also cold & business-like.

 

[rlock]

Basically like the title says.

It's common to have regulars that you see for a long time, and sometimes you decide to stop seeing them.

For providers it could be that are regular client suddenly starts pushing boundaries, asking for discounts, making racist, or chauvinistic comments, or maybe drops his hygiene standards.

For clients it could be that your regular provider suddenly starts acting entitled and pestering you for gifts/money, or her service standards slip, or you just don't feel as attracted to her any more.

The circumstances can vary a lot, and that will probably affect how you cut things off with your regular. So the question is, do you tell your regular why you are going to stop seeing them, or just stop communicating with them?

Thanks for your comments.

I have declined to revisit some SWs I saw after things got weirdly awkward in conversation, or they just said something off-putting that made the session feel like a hassle.

Sometimes it's me though - if I had a bad session with her, because I was feeling awkward or unwell, and then I'm embarassed and don't think I should go back.

As for "feelings", well there may be one which I definitely started feeling close to, because we got along so well (I thought), but who also later stopped being communicative. She moved away not long after, and maybe retired, so I guess I'll never know if she was being deliberate in cutting me off or just cutting everyone off for other reasons. I think it was the latter, because staying around here was holding her back from pursuing other opportunities.