Prostate Help New West BBW
- Thread starter Ripped
- Start date
Don't do it. Toftt tonight. Basement suite, dirty, messy, no insulation between upstairs and down, listening to kids running around, doors closing, people talking. Very large woman with huge saggy tits. I want my $100 back.
I thought a little prostate massage followed by a strapon attempt but I couldn't get out quick enough. Finished myself off and scooted out the door.
I thought a little prostate massage followed by a strapon attempt but I couldn't get out quick enough. Finished myself off and scooted out the door.
OMG no, No NO! Remove the middle "B" from BBW. An estimated 300 pounds, 5'5", giant 50 year old 42FFF tits, if if recall Madame Cow as saying.
Search 778-879-1239 to see a photo from 30 years ago. This is in the New Westminster Queensborough area. The Craigslist ad is email-only reply, no phone. She whined that her ad keeps getting flagged, but rightly so - by those who got suckered for $100, $150 more than the "service" is worth. That's right, she should be paying people to show up at her door to basically watch hapless customers whack off due to her complete inability to even spark an erection.
This cow has no business advertising in this trade. No personality, no talking, no connection, no skill. There is a nice portrait of her on her bedroom wall in her 20's, so she used to be a looker.
Kids were running around upstairs and their voices easily heard, exactly as funzie states. The place was neat enough, not like your average DTES crack-ho(me). There were couple a cute little fluffy puggly-faced doggies that didn't bark.
She starts with this feather light brushing of her fingers around your butt, plus light brushing with a silly purple fuzzy leather whip thing, before she starts of with sticking her pudgy covered finger in your butt. Then a small dildo, then a larger dildo, then she put a vibrator on that for effect. She has plenty of toys, to be sure. No tongue in your butt, which would have been the only thing to save the session.
The black awning she wore never came off. She did allow plenty of touching of her massive mammeries, but it wasn't without her constantly and annoyingly angling away. A few times she smothered my face in her boobs, so that saved me from looking at her face, but this was momentary. No digits; any fingers would have had to be 10" long to get past the mounds of flesh.
This lasted about an hour - her standing on the side of this waist high queen size bed the whole time. Finally I told her to use one of the vibrators to assist whack-off to finish.
Normally, I would phone up a regular to wash the memory of this event far away, but the imagery was so strongly seared into my brain so there was no interest in any form of sex at all, just Under The Dome TV and sleep.
The score tally out of 10:
-5 truth in advertising
+1 immediate 10-minute response from Craigslist email query and instant appointment
-5 Looks - 300lbs
+2 giant tits
-2 Service
+1 patient (no rushing you out the door after realizing her efforts bore no fruit)
-2 Noise from
+1 toys, lots of them
-1 knowledge of prostate massage (clearly does not know where it is)
+1 polite, quiet, respectful
-2 no bbbj
+3 no GFE (thank god)
--------------------
-8 out of 10
----
The collection of tools of Cow Lady reminds me of tiny Riley from White Rock. For $60 for 30-minute completion, she did a lot of the same as elephant girl above, but I would give her a +6 out of 10
With Riley, I was just expecting a DT BBBJ, but alas, it was covered, AND she made me shop for condoms at at 7-11. She advertises deep throat gagging etc., but she doesn't really know how to do this properly and exibit the appropriate amount of sex appeal, so she gave up.
Then she brought out her assortment of tools. A hitachi vibrator (long thing with 2" ball on the end), 1" anal beads attached to a string (which broke), needed dildo, standard dildo, strap-on (not used).
Riley's sweat pants never came off. She reluctantly went topless to show her firm A/B boobs and firm flat midriff, which I thought were just fine. Her reluctance was due to some needless insecurity about her age (the texting exchange started off with her disclaimer that she was 40, and was I SURE I still wanted to see her after that revelation.) The not having condoms and no bbbj didn't help.
No matter these deficits, I liked her overall. Her face no longer matches her photos by 10-20 years. She said she had 3 grown kids, and was a product of a bitter divorce, and it showed on her face as battle weariness, which could also be interpreted as crack-ho-ness. Her White Rock home of 4 years was a c-grade motel with street-facing doors, which meant parking right outside her door was fine.
Her place was neat, tiny and cozy. The front room had a giant TV as did the bedroom, the latter a high-mounted porn-playing TV in a red themed Tivoli-lighted room. It was nice and cozy.
Aside from the surprising variety of butt play and clear interest and patience at getting me to squirt, interestingly, she deliberately angled her body and positioned the vibrator with the unspoken intent that I use it on her (even though she oddly kept her sweatpants on).
So the $60 plus 3-pack condemn cost was not too terrible an expenditure, but the reality is that it was my efforts that produced results, not hers. There does seem to be potential for a more interesting session at a future visit as some other reviewers have suggested.
Search 778-879-1239 to see a photo from 30 years ago. This is in the New Westminster Queensborough area. The Craigslist ad is email-only reply, no phone. She whined that her ad keeps getting flagged, but rightly so - by those who got suckered for $100, $150 more than the "service" is worth. That's right, she should be paying people to show up at her door to basically watch hapless customers whack off due to her complete inability to even spark an erection.
This cow has no business advertising in this trade. No personality, no talking, no connection, no skill. There is a nice portrait of her on her bedroom wall in her 20's, so she used to be a looker.
Kids were running around upstairs and their voices easily heard, exactly as funzie states. The place was neat enough, not like your average DTES crack-ho(me). There were couple a cute little fluffy puggly-faced doggies that didn't bark.
She starts with this feather light brushing of her fingers around your butt, plus light brushing with a silly purple fuzzy leather whip thing, before she starts of with sticking her pudgy covered finger in your butt. Then a small dildo, then a larger dildo, then she put a vibrator on that for effect. She has plenty of toys, to be sure. No tongue in your butt, which would have been the only thing to save the session.
The black awning she wore never came off. She did allow plenty of touching of her massive mammeries, but it wasn't without her constantly and annoyingly angling away. A few times she smothered my face in her boobs, so that saved me from looking at her face, but this was momentary. No digits; any fingers would have had to be 10" long to get past the mounds of flesh.
This lasted about an hour - her standing on the side of this waist high queen size bed the whole time. Finally I told her to use one of the vibrators to assist whack-off to finish.
Normally, I would phone up a regular to wash the memory of this event far away, but the imagery was so strongly seared into my brain so there was no interest in any form of sex at all, just Under The Dome TV and sleep.
The score tally out of 10:
-5 truth in advertising
+1 immediate 10-minute response from Craigslist email query and instant appointment
-5 Looks - 300lbs
+2 giant tits
-2 Service
+1 patient (no rushing you out the door after realizing her efforts bore no fruit)
-2 Noise from
+1 toys, lots of them
-1 knowledge of prostate massage (clearly does not know where it is)
+1 polite, quiet, respectful
-2 no bbbj
+3 no GFE (thank god)
--------------------
-8 out of 10
----
The collection of tools of Cow Lady reminds me of tiny Riley from White Rock. For $60 for 30-minute completion, she did a lot of the same as elephant girl above, but I would give her a +6 out of 10
With Riley, I was just expecting a DT BBBJ, but alas, it was covered, AND she made me shop for condoms at at 7-11. She advertises deep throat gagging etc., but she doesn't really know how to do this properly and exibit the appropriate amount of sex appeal, so she gave up.
Then she brought out her assortment of tools. A hitachi vibrator (long thing with 2" ball on the end), 1" anal beads attached to a string (which broke), needed dildo, standard dildo, strap-on (not used).
Riley's sweat pants never came off. She reluctantly went topless to show her firm A/B boobs and firm flat midriff, which I thought were just fine. Her reluctance was due to some needless insecurity about her age (the texting exchange started off with her disclaimer that she was 40, and was I SURE I still wanted to see her after that revelation.) The not having condoms and no bbbj didn't help.
No matter these deficits, I liked her overall. Her face no longer matches her photos by 10-20 years. She said she had 3 grown kids, and was a product of a bitter divorce, and it showed on her face as battle weariness, which could also be interpreted as crack-ho-ness. Her White Rock home of 4 years was a c-grade motel with street-facing doors, which meant parking right outside her door was fine.
Her place was neat, tiny and cozy. The front room had a giant TV as did the bedroom, the latter a high-mounted porn-playing TV in a red themed Tivoli-lighted room. It was nice and cozy.
Aside from the surprising variety of butt play and clear interest and patience at getting me to squirt, interestingly, she deliberately angled her body and positioned the vibrator with the unspoken intent that I use it on her (even though she oddly kept her sweatpants on).
So the $60 plus 3-pack condemn cost was not too terrible an expenditure, but the reality is that it was my efforts that produced results, not hers. There does seem to be potential for a more interesting session at a future visit as some other reviewers have suggested.
