That's what wives are for. Not in a good way.
I haven't seen anyone new for a while, but have about 5-6 regulars.
One-Timers Vs. Regulars
- Thread starter PuntMeister
- Start date
I haven't seen anyone new for a while, but have about 5-6 regulars.
Wow, do I get that. My first husband was/is a really funny, interesting, intelligent person. He was also a workaholic who drank too much and was very anal retentive about things like how to properly wrap cheese (just like the movie "Duplicity"). The words that would sum him up best would be bossy and funny. Then our sex life became a once a freaking month thing, and I felt burned. All that fucking golf I've played and watched for you and no sex, eh? Why? I was better looking then, and not to brag, but I'm no slouch now. It's not like I lack skills in that area either. So WTF? Sure you're tired, I'm tired too...we both worked full time demanding jobs, so?You are welcome. I like to make people (ladies particularly) happy in all manner of ways
Just wish my SO would be a willing recipient...
The kicker is is that it had nothing to do with libido or erectile dysfunction or even a lack of desire on his part. It was about control.The one who can say no to sex in a mutually agreed upon monogamous relationship has the control. It's like being sated yourself and waving food in front of a starving man to get him to do what you want, and then throwing him a cracker.
What kind of burn is that? "You can't have sex with anyone else, but you can't have sex with me either." It's total bullshit. Sex is not only a drive but a need as far as I'm concerned, and a lack makes for a pretty miserable existence. I get that maybe not everyone wants to have sex every day, and so concessions can be made, but when it's done as a power play, it sucks (in a bad way).
So I think SPs are practically a necessary service.
I love the new pic in your signature! You are so beautiful and smart and kind, I think you are wonderful
Oh-hohohoho ... don't I know this scenario all too well! And paired with "Why do you have to wear such tight jeans?" makes for the longest 3 years I've had to endure.
That's why I chose one side of the fence over the other. :clap2:
Too true! As an exotic sex princess myself, it is wrong to force lovelies such as ourselves into celibacy and then demand we hide our charms! Of course, if I had a nickel for every "That just doesn't make any sense" indignant moment, I'd have....well, my math skills aren't strong, but it would be a lot of nickels.
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That's a lot of nickels!Wow... this one struck a cord. The jaw-dropper for me was when I was told I'm too old to still be wanting sex! Huh? I'm not old. Middle-aged maybe, but I'm healthy as anything and likely to live to 90 or more. And sexual desire isn't just for teenagers. Okay. I have my problems being a workaholic and all kinds of issues from childhood, but I am getting professional help on all of that and there is some really deep stuff. But, I was also making an effort...
Regulars of course although it is nice to meet new people.
There is a certain comfort level you have with regulars.
I Agree with this. Its hard to build up regulars that already know ur prices and how the session works.They dont ask questions or push you to do anything you dont want. They are our comfort. Not to mention they have a better chance at writing great reviews
The Scotch Jew part of me also kept thinking "sex is free and much better than the crap on TV". I'm also a bit of a workaholic...I have worked since 10 after all, becomes a habit.
Wooo Hooo!
It ain't a party if you don't pass out somewhere unusual and have a mini-freak-out moment when you wake up...wearing someone else's undergarments.
...and it ain't a party-thread until someone gets banned! Woo Hoo! We got us a party !!!
It ain't a party if you don't pass out somewhere unusual and have a mini-freak-out moment when you wake up...wearing someone else's undergarments.
...and it ain't a party-thread until someone gets banned! Woo Hoo! We got us a party
!!!
There have been some awesome comments here. Truly awesome! Many of you made me feel deeply, think twice, and chill a little. A bit of an eye opener.
It seems that regular clients have many merrits. And we also love the adrenaline rush a new encounter brings. Fortunately we don't need to forego one for the other--just mix it up a bit. Yeah! Best news I have heard all week!
Some nut-bars can't help themselves become puppy dogs humping their fave's leg, or feel they are entitled to ask/take liberties or stop being a gentleman. This is "boundary or bye-bye" time. It happens. Gotta deal with it when it does. A good firm tug on the leash should either snap the behaviour or snap the leash. Tug well my friends.
Hmmm, when a regular becomes a grey-zone relationship, it gets tricky. This is the good meaty stuff! The stuff I was hoping this thread would uncover. You peops exceeded my expectations! Clearly there are different comfort levels and skill levels out there. Punt does not feel there is an absolute do/don't conclusion about intimacy with regulars, but there are different realities and consequences for each of us. It is up to adults to make adult decisions about what they are comfortable with, and skilled at. Punt believes we do need to set limits on bonding levels the same way we do for activities. That said, developing a special bond, a special relationship that you are both comfortable with can be a wonderful thing.
[self-edited for getting preachy]. Will start another thread on intimacy codes.
Poon positively my friends. I hope you all enjoy the ride. Really, I do.
-Punt
It seems that regular clients have many merrits. And we also love the adrenaline rush a new encounter brings. Fortunately we don't need to forego one for the other--just mix it up a bit. Yeah! Best news I have heard all week!
Some nut-bars can't help themselves become puppy dogs humping their fave's leg, or feel they are entitled to ask/take liberties or stop being a gentleman. This is "boundary or bye-bye" time. It happens. Gotta deal with it when it does. A good firm tug on the leash should either snap the behaviour or snap the leash. Tug well my friends.
Hmmm, when a regular becomes a grey-zone relationship, it gets tricky. This is the good meaty stuff! The stuff I was hoping this thread would uncover. You peops exceeded my expectations! Clearly there are different comfort levels and skill levels out there. Punt does not feel there is an absolute do/don't conclusion about intimacy with regulars, but there are different realities and consequences for each of us. It is up to adults to make adult decisions about what they are comfortable with, and skilled at. Punt believes we do need to set limits on bonding levels the same way we do for activities. That said, developing a special bond, a special relationship that you are both comfortable with can be a wonderful thing.
[self-edited for getting preachy]. Will start another thread on intimacy codes.
Poon positively my friends. I hope you all enjoy the ride. Really, I do.
-Punt
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Hmmm...my clients are half and half I would say and the regulars that I have, have been with me a few years now and have followed me even after I left for a time which is wonderful. I love getting new ones as well just to keep is fresh and keep the sessions from getting repetitive so to speak. I like to mix it up as every client is different and it keeps me on my toes and interested and I never get bored. The age range varies from young to older and I love it I don't have a set clientele it is always a wonderful surprise when I open the door. Its like Christmas every day!
http://softhandswarmheart.com
http://softhandswarmheart.com
One can produce false dichotomies quite easily, as this discussion also shows. As in the old concept of Madonna/Whore, which many women face throughout their lives whether they be either or neither, it is not a matter of stripping every boundary ("I'll pretend I'm actually in love you and allow you to believe that in order to get $$$$ from you over $$") or "an open cunt and a closed heart". Both are terrible things to say and an example of black and white thinking.
I basically said one, and you outright said the other. For shame to the both of us.
There are ladies on this board who have clearly stated that they sell only or exclusively sexual services. Some have gone so far to say that they reserve the romance and love in their lives for their husbands or significant others. This is a choice that every woman has the right to make, how she performs her particular vocation. I believe one was in reference to bubble baths and was in another thread. It's like a physiotherapist relationship. "Don't you dare think you are anything more than a set of body parts I have to manipulate in order to better function, and I get paid, so my rent is covered as well." Or perhaps, "An open set of hands and a closed heart." This person may help you walk again or be able to open jars (which you don't appreciate until you can't do it) That's their job. Hey, they may even become your friends. You may go out for coffee together or hang out together. You may become bffs for life.
Which means that I was wrong when I said everyone who spends all their free time and gets really heavily involved with their clients is on a long-con, which could be interpreted from what I said. I mean, it's her right to do her job however she wants as well.
Obviously, neither of these things are 100% true, and human relationships are exceedingly complicated. Yes! The answer, is, as always, inconclusive. However, setting boundaries is a good idea according to my psychologist ex-fiance and the many psych professors I've had affairs with. (Yes, I have my own issues and really like tweed jackets with elbow patches, which makes me think maybe I should just buy my own.)
Anyways, here's something I pinched off a psychology website:http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/08/17/4-tips-for-setting-healthy-boundaries/
Signs of unhealthy boundaries include sharing too much too soon or not expressing our needs at all. This often happens in relationships, whether they are old relationships or ones we are trying to cultivate.
For example, on a first date one may share everything about him- or herself – family history, favorite movies, plans for children, and all of the details about past relationships. On the other hand, one may not be able to get a word in due to excessive talking or questioning by the other person, but does not express the need to be heard.
It’s important to understand that boundary setting is not being rude, nor is it being difficult. When done in a positive and respectful manner, boundary setting increases our assertiveness and can be effective for both parties. It is never too late to learn how to set healthy boundaries. Here are a few tips to get you going in the right direction.
Decide what you want.
The first step in setting a healthy boundary is identifying what is needed. This could be more space or less space, more attention or less attention. There is no right or wrong answer for this because it is what you desire.
Be firm.
After deciding what you want, firmly set the boundary. Let’s say you are at work and your co-worker is always asking you to get their things from the printer. It’s not always convenient for you, but you do it anyway despite feeling used and annoyed.
The next time your co-worker asks you can be very firm and state something like “I feel that you don’t consider my feelings or my work when you ask me to get your things and expect me to do it. I’m not getting your things anymore because it is your responsibility.” This is an example of a good boundary. Feelings are appropriately expressed and you have stated what it is that you will no longer continue to do.
It is important that you remain calm and not justify or apologize for the boundary that you are setting. It is also important to remember that fewer words are usually more effective. Be clear and concise.
Remember you’re not responsible for the other person’s response.
Set healthy boundaries for yourself and only yourself. Remember if you are respectful you are not responsible for the other person’s response. We are only responsible for ourselves.
Remember it’s a process.
It is important to remember it is a process. We don’t develop unhealthy boundaries overnight, so we won’t develop healthy ones overnight either. It is a process that requires continuous work and willingness to learn and grow. Seek feedback and directions from others who have healthy boundaries. Value your feelings and know that you are worth it.
I have found, throughout the years while maturing, that the stress becomes less and less as you become more comfortable in your own skin and with what it is you are doing and why you are doing it.
... and it is much easier to deal with anxiousness if it is thought of as excitement! The excitement of anticipating what is to come next - if everything was made to be comfortable all the time we'd never get off the sofa :nod:
awee thanks babe ....i dont wear it cause it would just be smeared all over various parts of your bodyI never asked you how come you don't wear make up....? You looked good to me!
....i like to dive right in with the playtime! ive never been a" get it up, get it on ,get it in, dont mess my hairdo"(sung to the bonanza tune ) kind of galYes I found that outawee thanks babe ....i dont wear it cause it would just be smeared all over various parts of your body
...I will get a better razor for next time!