My day

[club9]

Where to start?

I can’t stop shaking as this has never happened before. I went to a call today and the house was disgustingly dirty. The guy apologized and said that he was a bachelor and new it was dirty and hoped that I didn’t hold it against him. He was polite and seemed to mean well. His English was not very good. I thought about leaving but thought well I am here now and it is only a half an hr and not every job is perfect. If you are given lemons you make lemonade. I have learned not to judge in this profession as some of the most disgusting looking clients turn out to be the best. We chatted for a bit and he took his penis out of his pants and stroked it, he wouldn’t get undressed, when I encouraged him to, he said he was shy. I went to touch his penis and he said he prefers that I don’t. This was just so weird. He said that he can’t get upset in anyway or it wouldn’t work so I just did what he wanted and undressed while he stroked his penis. He wanted me to lie on the bed but I didn’t want to because he had no sheets and the place was so dirty. I asked him for a towel to put down he said he didn’t have one and by the looks of the place I believed him.

He previously mentioned a bj and I thought perfect because this way I could kneel in my shoes and not touch anything. He still kept saying that if he gets up set in anyway it won’t work and he would lose his erection. So everything was going his way so far and he like me but I pleaded that the bed was dirty and I was uncomfortable to lie on it. I feel that just because he is paying me I don’t have to do everything he says. I provide a great service and was willing to fs and bj to him I just didn’t want to lie on the bed when he wasn’t even willing to take his clothes off. It seemed that the more info I got as things progressed the more uncomfortable I felt as it was getting weird. I had never been in a house like this before and had this happen. I don’t know if other women take direction like this but I was uncomfortable with the fact he wouldn’t let me touch him and he kept his clothes on which were very dirty and he wanted me to lie naked on the bed and fuck me with his clothes on. I have had guys keep their shirts on but never their pants.

I don’t know what happened next but he was yelling at me because I asked for sheets on the bed and he had his cock back in his pants and was yelling that he wanted his money back. I got dressed as fast as I could and said sir I will keep some of the money for my time here and expenses to get here. He then pulled out some kind of metal bar and threatened to hit me with it, I tried to leave a few times from 2 different exits and he shoved me around each time keeping me confined to a small space. I got hurt with each shove so I just backed off. He picked up the phone and said do you want me to call the cops I said yes please do as I was scared and had never been in this position ever before.

He had paid me $145 in bills and $5 in coins. I had placed 145 back on the bed like he asked and he said no all of it. I said I couldn’t find it and to let me out as I had friends who would be showing up if I wasn’t back. He wouldn’t so I dug in the bottom of my change purse and got the coins out as he paced around threatening me with this pipe. He continued yelling and I didn’t know if I was going to get hurt further or even get out of there. I had told him a lie to try and get out. I said my pimp will be here but that wasn’t true as I am an independent. I also said I can send my friends back here after I leave if he causes me any harm but that was a lie too as no one knows what I do.

I have no one to talk to about this. Now that it is over saying I should have never gone doesn’t help. Please give constructive critism/feedback only please. Really is there a better way that things can be handled when this kind of situation arises? I have gone over and over it in my mind and it just happens so fast you really don’t have time to think. I have never had any conflict before and get along with everyone. I realize some people just have issues and I could have just been at the wrong place at the wrong time and that shit just can happen sometimes. I know tomorrow will be a new day but today I am incredibly sad and scared. Should I call the police? I just need to vent please don’t judge me or think this is another scam. I am just looking for discussion only. Talking about it can only bring knowledge which will help us sp’s in the future. I keep thinking that I guess I can look at it as fuck the money it was only $150 and let go of the fact that he was very wrong to treat me this way. I should be happy that I didn’t get hurt further and that I got out with my life because he kept claiming he had a gun. There is just so many ways to look at the situation. I can change my phone number, move and put him on a black list but really it feels like he still wins.

I got out with my life and pretty much unharmed with the exceptions of few bruises and soreness. As I go over this I am trying to look at it from his side of perspective and I guess he would feel that he didn’t want to be ripped off because he didn’t get laid. A nice man would have given me $20 for my time when asked and not made threats or shoved me around. Ladies what do you do when this happens? I have been in the business for 9 years and never had this happen so if you think it won’t happen to you, I don’t want to scare you but it just might happen like it just did to me. Please can we discuss how to protect ourselves and how to deal with these situations? I am now thinking if I had a weapon like pepper spray it might have worked but if he got it away from me or if I dropped it as anything can happen and what if it angered him further and he used it on me or what if he had really hit me hard with that pipe. Sometimes it is best to just give the money back and not fight. I did the best I could with a bad situation. I have often thought car keys are a good weapon but you know at the time it never crossed my mind.

Thank you for letting me vent my horribly upsetting day. Once again, talking about it can only bring knowledge which will help us sp’s in the future.

 

[stroker]

Wow, sorry to hear about what happened. There is no excuse for how you were treated. I will let others that are more in the know answer your questions. Take care.

 

[Very Veronica]

Thank goodness you are ok.

Call the police immediately or go down to your local station & file a report. Print out or rewrite the details of the date just like you did here. Just because you are a prostitute doesn't give anyone the right to physically abuse you. The police will scrutinize you but only to get to the truth of the altercation.

Personally, i never visit private homes unless i know the client very well & he has a VERY nice place. Call me a princess but i've got enough to deal with aside from worrying about bed bugs & room mates (not to mention bad interior decorating!). Carrying a weapon is tricky as he can easily use it against you plus it will escalate things. As does asking for any money when you're dealing with a whacko.

Again, call the police immediately. Guaranteed, this guy has or will pull this stunt again and next time, he might do worse. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for the other girls.

I would also suggest taking some time off to recoup from this.

 

[susi]

i agree, just leave and trust you instincts. make sure some one knows where you are and is doing a security check for you ie- call them just before you go in and them if you don't call them within mins have them call you. if you do not answer or if you say anything other than the pre arranged statement- i always say "all good"- then they ph the police or better yet if you have a driver and security check with him, he would be kicking the door down.

i want to warn against ph the police now after the fact. they can be very calous and you could be re victimized by the way they treat you. just a precaution as some police officers are really supportive most aren't and think we get what we deserve because of the nature of our work. i work closely with them and am always floored by the comments they make and the way they see us in society.

canada is supposed to be a human rights leader but all people are definitely not equal in the eyes of the law in this country.

if you do feel compeled to ph and report to police, call VPD and ask for Kathleen Tchang in major crimes or Lynda Malcome the new sex worker liason officer. i don't know where you are in the city but it doesn't matter. ph one of them and perhaps they could help you connect with and officer in your area who will be supportive and not treat you like you are a criminal

hope you are ok, remember- the after effects of an assault are known as post traumatic stress disorder- you can expect to feel anxious, angry, and isolated.some people have periods where they feel nothing at all. symptoms can also be as extreme as hallucinations and physical pain-stomach cramps- don't worry though they decrease with time. reach out to friends, have a couple glasses of wine, smoke a doobie...
take some time for you and try to relax. we cannot change the experiences we endure in our lives but we can learn to live with our injuries.

cheers
susie

 

[aznboi9]

Sorry to hear about your day. Only being a pooner I don't have any advice to give; but VV's opinion seems worthwhile because it would at least put this guy on their radar. I hate to think of this guy doing this to any other girls.

 

[stroker]

I bet the guy went off the deep end because he's a nut.

 

[FortunateOne]

You had mentioned that you told the guy that you were going to keep some cash for time travelled and expenses. I've always thought that ladies who do this are putting themselves at risk.

I know a lot of woman do this, however, if I were a lady in a strange guys home and I was refusing service to him, I wouldnt ask to keep any cash.

You're in a position where you're refusing service to a guy (whether you're completely justified by doing so or otherwise) and in all likelihood this guy will have been worked up, now very disappointed, and maybe embarrassed. I'm thinking that women who ask for this cash/intend to keep cash provided are inflaming what could already be a very volatile situation. No one ever wants to pay (even part) for a service they never received - no other business would ask you for partial payment if they came out and then refused to service you.

I don't know...if it were me I'd just give all the cash back (because you turned down the service), be gracious, and get out as quickly as you can. Why piss off a guy even more than he's already going to be when you're all alone in his home, he's likely bigger than you, and he comes across as being a little off kilter.

I would bet my paycheck that the reason he went off the deep end is because you tried to keep some cash after turning him down. Off course I wasnt there so I'll never know for sure of course.

Just my two cents.

She didn't refuse service, if you had noticed. In fact, she had to get dressed when he went off the deep end. Had nothing to do with her deciding to leave, or asking to keep some $. All that came later. At no time did she actually refuse service. And I don't know too many stable guys who act out their "embarrassment" by yelling, hitting or threatening with a weapon.

club9, it is extremely important that you report him asap. One visit from the cops to follow up the complaint just might make him think twice before doing it again. Your complaint might be one of several against the same guy, who is stupid enough to have an outcall -- providing address, name and number. Yours might be the one more complaint they need to press charges.
This is the sort of action, too, that allows you to take charge of a situation where you had no control over. It is a step to get your life back on track.

 

[stroker]

I agree with giving all the money back too. You won't miss that $5 or $150 or whatever later.

 

[EvilPettingZoo]

I'm glad you got out of there safely. It sounds like a very scary situation to be in and I think you handled it as well as can be expected. Hindsight is strange and can get you thinking "why didn't I do this?" or "I should've done that."

What's important is that you a) do what you can (within your own comfort level) to ensure this doesn't happen to anyone else, and b) incorporate this jarring experience into your future encounters.

Stay safe.

 

[jwautobr]

Where to start?

I can’t stop shaking as this has never happened before. I went to a call today and the house was disgustingly dirty. The guy apologized and said that he was a bachelor and new it was dirty and hoped that I didn’t hold it against him. He was polite and seemed to mean well. His English was not very good. I thought about leaving but thought well I am here now and it is only a half an hr and not every job is perfect. If you are given lemons you make lemonade. I have learned not to judge in this profession as some of the most disgusting looking clients turn out to be the best. We chatted for a bit and he took his penis out of his pants and stroked it, he wouldn’t get undressed, when I encouraged him to, he said he was shy. I went to touch his penis and he said he prefers that I don’t. This was just so weird. He said that he can’t get upset in anyway or it wouldn’t work so I just did what he wanted and undressed while he stroked his penis. He wanted me to lie on the bed but I didn’t want to because he had no sheets and the place was so dirty. I asked him for a towel to put down he said he didn’t have one and by the looks of the place I believed him.

He previously mentioned a bj and I thought perfect because this way I could kneel in my shoes and not touch anything. He still kept saying that if he gets up set in anyway it won’t work and he would lose his erection. So everything was going his way so far and he like me but I pleaded that the bed was dirty and I was uncomfortable to lie on it. I feel that just because he is paying me I don’t have to do everything he says. I provide a great service and was willing to fs and bj to him I just didn’t want to lie on the bed when he wasn’t even willing to take his clothes off. It seemed that the more info I got as things progressed the more uncomfortable I felt as it was getting weird. I had never been in a house like this before and had this happen. I don’t know if other women take direction like this but I was uncomfortable with the fact he wouldn’t let me touch him and he kept his clothes on which were very dirty and he wanted me to lie naked on the bed and fuck me with his clothes on. I have had guys keep their shirts on but never their pants.

I don’t know what happened next but he was yelling at me because I asked for sheets on the bed and he had his cock back in his pants and was yelling that he wanted his money back. I got dressed as fast as I could and said sir I will keep some of the money for my time here and expenses to get here. He then pulled out some kind of metal bar and threatened to hit me with it, I tried to leave a few times from 2 different exits and he shoved me around each time keeping me confined to a small space. I got hurt with each shove so I just backed off. He picked up the phone and said do you want me to call the cops I said yes please do as I was scared and had never been in this position ever before.

He had paid me $145 in bills and $5 in coins. I had placed 145 back on the bed like he asked and he said no all of it. I said I couldn’t find it and to let me out as I had friends who would be showing up if I wasn’t back. He wouldn’t so I dug in the bottom of my change purse and got the coins out as he paced around threatening me with this pipe. He continued yelling and I didn’t know if I was going to get hurt further or even get out of there. I had told him a lie to try and get out. I said my pimp will be here but that wasn’t true as I am an independent. I also said I can send my friends back here after I leave if he causes me any harm but that was a lie too as no one knows what I do.

I have no one to talk to about this. Now that it is over saying I should have never gone doesn’t help. Please give constructive critism/feedback only please. Really is there a better way that things can be handled when this kind of situation arises? I have gone over and over it in my mind and it just happens so fast you really don’t have time to think. I have never had any conflict before and get along with everyone. I realize some people just have issues and I could have just been at the wrong place at the wrong time and that shit just can happen sometimes. I know tomorrow will be a new day but today I am incredibly sad and scared. Should I call the police? I just need to vent please don’t judge me or think this is another scam. I am just looking for discussion only. Talking about it can only bring knowledge which will help us sp’s in the future. I keep thinking that I guess I can look at it as fuck the money it was only $150 and let go of the fact that he was very wrong to treat me this way. I should be happy that I didn’t get hurt further and that I got out with my life because he kept claiming he had a gun. There is just so many ways to look at the situation. I can change my phone number, move and put him on a black list but really it feels like he still wins.

I got out with my life and pretty much unharmed with the exceptions of few bruises and soreness. As I go over this I am trying to look at it from his side of perspective and I guess he would feel that he didn’t want to be ripped off because he didn’t get laid. A nice man would have given me $20 for my time when asked and not made threats or shoved me around. Ladies what do you do when this happens? I have been in the business for 9 years and never had this happen so if you think it won’t happen to you, I don’t want to scare you but it just might happen like it just did to me. Please can we discuss how to protect ourselves and how to deal with these situations? I am now thinking if I had a weapon like pepper spray it might have worked but if he got it away from me or if I dropped it as anything can happen and what if it angered him further and he used it on me or what if he had really hit me hard with that pipe. Sometimes it is best to just give the money back and not fight. I did the best I could with a bad situation. I have often thought car keys are a good weapon but you know at the time it never crossed my mind.

Thank you for letting me vent my horribly upsetting day. Once again, talking about it can only bring knowledge which will help us sp’s in the future.

plese take some time to have this man charged at least with the assult,although kidnaping would be a possibility .By taking some of your time you may save a life of a fellow worker.This persons bad behavior will only get worse if allowed.please take the time hopefullyothers will too and maybe this person wont be calling for an incall except by clanging on the cell bars for baba.

 

[Markl]

Glad to see you got out ok Club.

Just as a little insight as to violence against people, I went and checked out some stuff on wikipedia, my favorite page on the internet.

"James Gilligan writes violence is often pursued as an antidote to shame or humiliation. The use of violence often is a source of pride and a defence of honor, especially among males who often believe violence defines manhood."

So the person you were dealing with probably has very low self-esteem. A dangerous individual. Should you teach him a lesson by reporting him? Probably. Will it fix his life? Doubtful. I'd just spread the word about him and give all your colleagues his address, so they don't go there.

Full article is at.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence

 

[d_Duck55]

He had paid me $145 in bills and $5 in coins.

Wow he was a big spender - scraping together the last $5 in coins.

It is very important to go with your gut feeling. Probably better just to leave with no $$$ than trying to leave with some, unless you have a 'driver' backing you up.

Maybe you could report the guys address / phone # to some other ladies so they can help each other by spreading his contact info around.

You should report this to the police. Assuming you aren't on drugs and look presentable, you will have no problem from the cops. Cops do like to help people.

 

[wpgguy]

Maybe you could report the guys address / phone # to some other ladies so they can help each other by spreading his contact info around.

You should report this to the police. Assuming you aren't on drugs and look presentable, you will have no problem from the cops. Cops do like to help people.

Agree 100%

You should file a report with the police ASAP and let as many of the other ladies know who this guy is so they can avoid him. Glad to hear you're ok.

 

[Small pleasures]

Yes, please report it to the police.

As some may know I was attacked by a client in my home a couple of months ago. It wasn't as bad as your situation and I still called the police.

Even if you get cops that have personal judgements against you they will likely still do their job and contact the client which may prevent him from doing this to someone in the future.

Again, even if charges are not pressed just being contacted, questioned and warned by the police may be enough to stop this guy in the future. Maybe he'll get mental help.

If you do nothing and find out one day he hurt or killed someone else you would likely feel aweful.

I encourage you to take care of yourself in anyway that is appropriate. If you can speak with a therapist it can only benefit you. Trauma like this can effect us in very unique ways.

Big hug,
T

 

[little Cowboy]

You have good advice here... but.. remember... don't let one asshole, discourage you from the 98% that are pretty good guys...

glad you are ok

 

[Markl]

Club.

Here is a warm hug from me to you. I hope you get through this unscathed,
May god bless you.

 

[Jodie]

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you

You were assaulted and you need to call the police and file charges. Sounds like Susie has a good recommendation for who to speak to:

if you do feel compeled to ph and report to police, call VPD and ask for Kathleen Tchang in major crimes or Lynda Malcome the new sex worker liason officer.

I also concur with Imrokhaard - if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, forget about the money; it's not important. What is important is for you to get out of the situation alive and safely. I know it sucks to not earn the money, and your time was wasted, etc. etc., but believe me, your life is much more valuable than $150.

 

[club9]

I did call the police and asked for a lady cop who I know works with sex trade workers and of course they are not in until Monday. I said I was in a situation today and pondering over what to do and told her I would call back on Monday. I figured that cop would be more understanding then a regular cop. I am hesitant about having the police contact him because I do have an in call and he could very well come here one day or anything as after today he has now proven himself to be untrustworthy. I feel like I should think carefully about whether to talk to the police or not because I am the one with my name and number out there and in the future he could get a hotel or call from another number as anything is possible and I don’t want to go around pissing people off especially unstable people. He is obviously off his kilter so I shouldn’t piss him off further and calling the cops might do that. Just because I call the cops doesn’t mean I will be protected from future harm of this man. The police will take the info and start a file, possibly contact him but they can’t do anything further unless he contacts me again in a harassing or threatening way basically they can’t do something until it is too late. We have all seen it before. I will never again go to residences unless I know the person. It is to bad that this will effect the good guys who would never hurt a lady. It doesn’t happen often but occasionally I do get calls to residences. From now on it is hotels only.

It is my understanding that I can’t charge anyone all I can do is report it and it is up to the police to lay a charge if they so choose, I can suggest it though.

I have to go take a breather from this for now but I will let you know what the police say. I just wish I wasn’t alone tonight. I just feel very sad. I guess I have been lucky in the past 9 years. I should count my blessings and think about getting out of the business while things are good. Time heals.

Thank you all for your kind words.

 

[gentlesoul]

please call the police

They are only civil servants and by approaching them with honest and good will they will do there best.
By not doing anything and something does happen in the future to a friend or associate not good
Om Shanti
hint
If i spend time thinking on whether or not I should do such and such I just go ahead and do it.
Wasteful thoughts are not worth the time and effort

 

[club9]

If you don't like the situation I would give the money back, turn around and leave asap. I think that women who attempt to play hard ass and keep some cash put themselves at risk - irrespective of whether they believe that they are justified in keeping a partial payment or not.

Exactly I agree 100%. I just get sick of occasionally some men being scum bags like this one trying to intimidate and push me around. I didn’t think of myself as playing a hard ass I was just trying to recoup costs. I don’t have to remind any of you what the price of fuel is these days.

Imrokhaard I read your post earlier and wanted to reply.

You have gotten threw to me loud and clear and I will never again keep a man’s cash! Thanks for the opinion. You are so correct. I didn’t want to hear this but what you say has truth as I wouldn’t like it if someone ripped me off and as stated previously I knew he felt he didn’t get service so wanted his money back. I really felt that I didn’t refuse him service or rip him off by taking any money as I was there and willing to provide bj and fs still after he was placing weird conditions like not taking his pants off and didn’t have any towels but I just didn’t want to lie naked on his sheet less bed and have him on top of me with his dirty clothes on. A lady should feel comfortable. When I took his money I hadn’t seen the bed yet. He kept making the conditions worse and acting weirder. It was definitely not my ideal situation but if he would have just and let me do my job and suck his cock and ride him while he sat on the bed everything might have been ok. We would have booth been happy and I would have been out in ½ hr and never gone back. The more I think about it once inside his place and having accepted his money there was probably nothing more that I could do as he is a sick person since he was so violent. Am I right to think that there is something wrong with people who have dirty places? He didn’t even have clean clothes on. Or is that to judgmental?

No one should work in these awful conditions but sometimes that is just the way it goes and you chock it up and say never again. As previously stated you can’t judge a book by its cover as some clients who I didn’t get the best vibe upon meeting have turned out to be some of the nicest people I have ever known in the business. They don’t all look like Donald Trump and live in penthouses. I get some very nice looking clients who are wealthy but it is generally the average blue collar worker who sees me.

I guess I feel strongly about not giving a refund when he had part of a service. He cancelled not me. He was hard stroking himself to me being naked so I feel he shouldn’t have got any refund because I came over as he called me on the phone and booked. I spent my time with him and gas to get there and feel it is worth something. It isn’t cheap to run a vehicle or a business. I know he didn’t get laid but I still was willing to even when the conditions were getting worse because I didn’t want to upset him further. Which really I shouldn’t even be in a position to be worry about my client becoming upset and agitated as my job is to worry about getting him off. If I hadn’t have been naked yet I would have given him his money back. Maybe that is wrong and that is what I would like to discuss further.

When it comes down to my life and being hurt then yes I wont argue over money as I made that decision today to give it back when he had the metal bar in his hands swinging it ballistic. However men can use this fear as a weapon in the future to get their way and this shouldn’t be tolerated.

Escorting is a service which people provide and I am trying to think of a fair analogy to back up my above reasons for wanting to keep the money. Say you pick up the phone and order take out food. The cook takes time to prepare your meal and drives it over to you. Your nice warm meal arrives at your door and you open the box and eat 1/2 and things go wrong on your part not anything to do with the restaurant. Do you ask for your money back? Do you make threats with a big metal bar and walk around swinging it? Do you claim to have a gun? Is this a fair analogy I don’t know if it is but it was all I could think of in close comparison. If I ordered pizza or anything I wouldn’t ask for my money back after sampling unless it was obviously rotten. I am a clean healthy sp not on drugs.

Let me just say that in 9 years I have never been refused or sent away. I guess he was joan sing out or something, probably picking up my un comfortableness. Who knows what his issues were that is why I am asking as I have already speculated what he may be feeling and why. If you send a lady away after getting into a session would you want your money back or let her keep it? In the past I have shown up to places and been given money but after speaking if I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to proceed I have declined in which I will give a man his money back minus $20 to cover my call out which is usually agreed on with no argument.

At the time I keep thinking this just isn’t right and I should protect myself and not let him get away with this and I wanted to fight back but I was aware that my long nails hinder and don’t help and also that my heels are not as stable as sneakers. I am so glad now that I didn’t fight back as I probably would have made it worse. I didn’t want to be taken advantage of. I felt ripped off more then assaulted.

Thank you for the replies and for doing it in a classy way. I realize that there are many ways to look at every situation and I am just trying to see if there are others views that I can learn from here. I may not like or agree with what you all have to say but it will give me and others reflection for thinking on procedures for our business so your input is valuable. I hope we can all speak freely without judgment.