My very best friend burst into my office the other morning, breathless and giddy with excitement.
"I've got to tell you about my amazing night last night!" he blurted.
"I'm with a client!" I retorted, pointing to the businessman across the table, charts and sales projections spread across the surface.
"You should hear this too." my friend informed the businessman.
"I was feeling lonely and unloved last night, so I decided I needed to make a new friend." my best friend explained. "So I took a drive to Impulse Health Studio on 118 Avenue."
"What's the cross-street?" asked the businessman, typing on his BlackBerry.
"149." my friend replied. "I went inside and was immediately greeted by a loud electronic voice, 'BACK DOOR!'"
"That sounds like quite the place." suggested the businessman. "They greet you by announcing your favourite sexual position?"
"Indeed." I nodded. "Do continue."
"I was greeted by a woman in her early 30s who introduced herself as Mika."
"How do you spell that?"
"I'm not sure," confessed my friend, "But I knew at that moment I would be screaming that name by the end of the night."
"She was quite a looker, huh?"
"She had an offbeat beauty, like your buddy's sister or something. You know, the kind of girl you never really noticed in high school but now realize you really should have nailed."
"So what happened?" I asked.
"I got excited right away." my friend admitted. "And I think she could tell, because she looked right at me and grinned. I booked a half-hour session and she started a shower for me."
The businessman and I were all ears.
"She returned to the room and I asked for the works. Giggling somewhat self-consciously, she nodded and began disrobing."
"And...?"
"She has a gorgeous, tanned body, with perky B-cup breasts." my friend informed his listeners. "And her legs rise to the most beautiful intersection you ever did see."
"How was the massage?"
"Lovely, but that wasn't the reason I was there." my friend confessed. "I was so eager to turn over that when she finally said I could, I practically fell off the table."
"How were the..you know, the works?"
"Deeply fulfilling." he replied. "She started with an energetic, wet blowjob, then when I could take it no more, she straddled me in reverse cowgirl. She slid down onto me and I felt like I was slipping into a king's silken robe."
"Wow!"
"She rode me energetically, then I asked her to change positions so I could play with her breasts. Still grinning, she complied. She rode me like a rocking horse until I could stand it no longer and I exploded."
"With anger?"
"With unbridled joy." he replied.
The businessman and I were mopping our brows as my amigo finished his tale. I struggled to find my voice.
"Shall we resume our discussions about the projections?" I asked.
"Forget the projections!" he exclaimed. "The only thing I want to project is MY best friend, inside that beautiful woman!"
He rose to his feet and ran from the room.
"Well, there goes a major account." I muttered.
"Don't fret, my friend." my best friend smiled. "I have the keys to his car."
"I've got to tell you about my amazing night last night!" he blurted.
"I'm with a client!" I retorted, pointing to the businessman across the table, charts and sales projections spread across the surface.
"You should hear this too." my friend informed the businessman.
"I was feeling lonely and unloved last night, so I decided I needed to make a new friend." my best friend explained. "So I took a drive to Impulse Health Studio on 118 Avenue."
"What's the cross-street?" asked the businessman, typing on his BlackBerry.
"149." my friend replied. "I went inside and was immediately greeted by a loud electronic voice, 'BACK DOOR!'"
"That sounds like quite the place." suggested the businessman. "They greet you by announcing your favourite sexual position?"
"Indeed." I nodded. "Do continue."
"I was greeted by a woman in her early 30s who introduced herself as Mika."
"How do you spell that?"
"I'm not sure," confessed my friend, "But I knew at that moment I would be screaming that name by the end of the night."
"She was quite a looker, huh?"
"She had an offbeat beauty, like your buddy's sister or something. You know, the kind of girl you never really noticed in high school but now realize you really should have nailed."
"So what happened?" I asked.
"I got excited right away." my friend admitted. "And I think she could tell, because she looked right at me and grinned. I booked a half-hour session and she started a shower for me."
The businessman and I were all ears.
"She returned to the room and I asked for the works. Giggling somewhat self-consciously, she nodded and began disrobing."
"And...?"
"She has a gorgeous, tanned body, with perky B-cup breasts." my friend informed his listeners. "And her legs rise to the most beautiful intersection you ever did see."
"How was the massage?"
"Lovely, but that wasn't the reason I was there." my friend confessed. "I was so eager to turn over that when she finally said I could, I practically fell off the table."
"How were the..you know, the works?"
"Deeply fulfilling." he replied. "She started with an energetic, wet blowjob, then when I could take it no more, she straddled me in reverse cowgirl. She slid down onto me and I felt like I was slipping into a king's silken robe."
"Wow!"
"She rode me energetically, then I asked her to change positions so I could play with her breasts. Still grinning, she complied. She rode me like a rocking horse until I could stand it no longer and I exploded."
"With anger?"
"With unbridled joy." he replied.
The businessman and I were mopping our brows as my amigo finished his tale. I struggled to find my voice.
"Shall we resume our discussions about the projections?" I asked.
"Forget the projections!" he exclaimed. "The only thing I want to project is MY best friend, inside that beautiful woman!"
He rose to his feet and ran from the room.
"Well, there goes a major account." I muttered.
"Don't fret, my friend." my best friend smiled. "I have the keys to his car."
