men who see sp's would they make good husbands

[jnewton]

For different take on this. For some older married pooners relationships with SPs may actually keep marriages together. After many years of marriage even in relationships that started off sexually exciting/fulfilling the passion cools. Not infrequently one partner (in this example the wife) stops trying (kids, work, tired, etc.) and sex becomes a chore and a "duty". When this occurs the husband's choices are: to keep raising the issue (and fight about how it is not good enough), give up and watch his own sexually extinguish, find a new "relationship" with a non SP (which if one is successful will probably lead to divorce), or stay married and maintain the positive parts of the marriage while seeking sexual fulfillment with a SP. This last approach has historic roots. In many cultures and time periods, it was normal not to expect that one person to be everything and, for men who could afford it at least, it was normal to have a mistress where he could explore his need for passion. I know from my discussions with SPs that many of their regular clients report this as their situation.

I wrote this in another thread but it's worth repeating in this context.

If you look at your family history, you may find that a man only having one spouse/partner for his entire adult life is a fairly recent phenomenon. Up until the advent of modern medical care, it was very common for the woman to die in childbirth. It was said that a man could figure on marrying 4 times in his life, burying the first three and being buried by the 4th. Looking through my own roots a few hundred years back, it is fairly rare to find the same couple in old age that married when young. The man has usually buried at least one wife felled by childbirth complications or other disease before he dies. The end result is that he has several women he marries in the course of his life and usually, the woman he marries when he is in his 40's or 50's is 20 to 30 years younger.