In light of various meltdowns of late...

[Ophelia Black]

How do you think we can conduct ourselves in future to make this board a little less destructive?

Ideas?

Here are a few of mine;

1. Zero tolerance of multiple handles. Zero. I have yet to see an example of multiple handles used so someone could be extra nice and caring as multiple people. Far from it. I have only ever seen multiple handles used to intimidate, bully, and systematically harrass on this board and others.

2. Make a genuine effort to contact the individual in question personally to ask about what concerns you before you question their actions/motivations/integrity in a public thread.

3. Understand that while you may not be the target today, you may well be tomorrow, so it is in everybody's best interests to try and understand how this happens, and how it can be prevented or at least reduced.

 

[Fotura]

To reinforce #2 - Communication is the only way to solve some of these problems. Threads tend to get off topic and too many points of views are shared.

Basic conflict management is to remove all communication barriers so you can focus on discussing the true problem. Contact the person directly whether through e-mail or phone. The board is not a good tool for this.

 

[Avery]

Re: Don't Let the Internet Get to You

My father in 1982, sitting around the kitchen table with three girls and three boys. In light of the recent meltdowns....

Things break down at the point at which someone over-reacts. I'm certainly guilty of this, so I'm pointing no fingers nor referencing any recent events - most of which, thankfully, I've missed due to business trips. Regardless, in an open, mixed household, there can be no set limit on points of view... It's the "Boys vs Girls" attitude, IMO, that causes so many of the eruptions in this house. The more the merrier, but be aware of the effect that your words can - and will - have on others. Don't attack - the person or the point of view - and you won't be attacked. If you are attacked anyway, don't start whining about "why can't we all just get along," ignore your brother or sister and move on with your life. Or namecall them from behind your locked bedroom door and wait for one of your parents to step in... Whichever lends to a longer and happier sibling existence for you...

Colonel Dave in 2004....

Things break down at the point at which someone over-reacts. I'm certainly guilty of this, so I'm pointing no fingers nor referencing any recent events - most of which, thankfully, I've missed due to illness. Regardless, in an open, adult discussion, there can meno set limit on points of view... It's the "Us vs Them" attitude, IMO, that causes so many of the eruptions on the board. The more the merrier, but be aware of the effect that your words can - and will - have on others. Don't attack - the person or the point of view - and you won't be attacked. If you are attacked anyway, don't start whining about "why can't we all just get along," ignore the ignorant fuck and move on with your life. Or flame them into the nether regions of Hell and wait for one of the Mods to step in... Whichever lends to a longer and happier PERB existence for you...

So, does that mean Colonel Dave is your father?

 

[freaky]

What if you are the problem?

What if you are the problem Ophelia? Victoria Lee and Julia can survive on this board without being banned twice, in only one summer, and now you are trying to lecture us on how to behave? You said that you don't want to see any Vancouver men as clients, unless we work in the film industry and can pay american dollars, and now you want to lecture us on how to behave?

 

[Ophelia Black]

Freaky

2. Make a genuine effort to contact the individual in question personally to ask about what concerns you before you question their actions/motivations/integrity in a public thread.

 

[sunnysideup]

Sorry Brooklyn - I gotta disagree. In 1982 your father never envisioned the internet I’m sure but his advice, as sound as it was then, is just as sound for internet application. I think the internet provides a different way for people to interact or “interface” but remember, it’s people posting and people reading - just as it was people talking and people listening in your household in 1982. Rules of common courtesy, human compassion and understanding don’t change just because the medium does.

One the other hand, one has to remember that in an open discussion on the internet, many will behave differently than they would in a one-on-one discussion because of perceived internet anonymity. In short, some people will abandon their normal sense of courtesy and restraint. That being the case, one must have a thicker skin in order to participate in this medium - if only to compensate (as it were) for those who abandon common courtesy in a blissfully ignorant aura of perceived anonymity. The adage, “consider the source” must be applied liberally.


My 2¢

 

[bigdman]

Re: Hmmmmm

This was to precede my "Whoooooooooo's your DADDY!" special.

Baha.

I guess Brooklyn likes spanking....???

 

[Ophelia Black]

Yep...I think you got it. I won't be on the boards much after this; just checking back occasionally to clear up any obvious nastiness or untruths that will negatively affect my business.

Other than that, it's just not any fun any more, at all. I actually get a knot in my stomach just typing 'perb' into Google now.

And before anybody says anything about ignoring it all, nastiness included? I'd dearly, dearly, dearly love to if I wasn't still having to catch up after the damage done up to this point. Remember, because of my lack of reviews, I'm still seen as 'new' or toftt even though I've been around for over a year now. Not fair, but reality.

Good ideas in here though, to help with some of the negative stuff, and potential misunderstandings.

 

[Maury Beniowski]

Was a pun intended, Gina?

Minding my own 'fucking' business!

 

[Alberta Mod]

Sonny is your favorite NOT FAIR *starts pouting*

and who said mods don't have a sense of haha

 

[Ophelia Black]

Pink Lady

My website link, with an email link is in my profile, and I've posted my email about a zillion times here in the last two days, but hey, I'll do it again, just for you;

opheliablakk@hotmail.com

And I can turn the email option back on if the cutting and pasting stuff is scary.

I've turned my PMs off, as people say less stupid shit if they actually have to think before sending, which I find happens more when they have to use email.

"You attack Victoria-Lee whenever you feel like it"

Ok. You lost me there. Probably just as well. There has been a lot of shit going down on many fronts these last couple of days - why you think Victoria-Lee is the problem is something you need to work on yourself, and on your own time.

davevictoria! So good to see you again! You can send that email any time! Love ya

godzilla! You're so cute when you bang your massive scaly fists on the ground and hold your sexy reptilian breath until you turn blue! Let's do lunch!

How about those Canucks?! Alriiiiight!

 

[sunnysideup]

On respect - to Brooklyn

If I disagree with you, then, by definition you disagree with me, don’t you?

My father was a wise old man. He remarried in 1970 (when I was 16) to a wonderful woman. They had a healthy, vibrant relationship until he died in 1995. About a year after his remarriage he and his wife had a major donnybrook (the subject of which I don’t remember because it blew over in a few weeks). He commented to me at that time that he had just spent 20 years looking for a perfect mate for him, finally he found her and married her only to find out six months later that she was half bitch.

My point is this: In the absence of the internet, at that moment, he had thought he had made a mistake. Of course the same can happen with cyber-meetings too. Every day people accept others in real life that they shouldn’t have and reject others in real life that they should have accepted. The same is true for internet acquaintances. Granted, there is a lot more opportunity to disguise one’s motives etc. with a cyber-meeting that in a personal meeting when body language and voice tone can be observed but that doesn’t mean that the internet, as a mode of communication, should be completely discounted. If follows from that, in my opinion, that one’s sence of identity (their feeling of who they are) should be abandoned simply because they happen to be communicating on the internet. It also follows that because there is less information available to the reader of an internet post than there is available in a conventional, good old fashioned, one-on-one, garden variety conversation or debate, then caution should be reinforced.

I suspect that many had the same reservations about telephone communication in the 1920’s that you have about internet communications now, and properly so. But telephone communication has been with us all since our earliest memories. When our children are our ages, then internet communication will have been with them since their earliest memories. They will treat internet communication with the same caution and respect as we treat telephone communication.

My other point is this: You and I can chose to disagree on this issue, or any other, whether we meet in person or in this forum. But so long as I haven’t belittled your point of view and you haven’t belittled mine, then we have a mutual respect. I’ve gotten to know you a little and you know me a little. To me, that’s valuable. And I’ve achieved that without meeting you in person.

For what it’s worth.

 

[bigdman]

Don't forget pooning

how's your action in Seatle?? keep us posting.....dufferin....

 

[Ophelia Black]

Hitrack!

Could you throw a little

bunny with a pancake on his head

over this way? That particular combination of furry mammal and common breakfast item never fails to amuse the huckleberries out of me...

Well, that, and Sonny Burnett saying 'fuck' a lot.

Thank you

 

[bigdman]

Seattle will be a non-pooning adventure BigD.

i'll let you you know on the strip clubs though!

dufferin.

Did you just changed your mind..?? I thought Victoria-Lee had recommended a good agency to you...??

 

[Ophelia Black]

Actually, if you, Hitrack, can get Sonny Burnett to put a rabbit on his head, and that rabbit was to already have a pancake on its head, and you could get them to both say 'fuck' in unison...why, I'd buy you a Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurry, and I think we would have peace in the Middle East.

Oh yeah. Sonny has to be wearing a lilac teddy and matching marabou mules. And there has to be pictures