I have a weird dick :(

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doggy011111

Member
Oct 27, 2007
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My dick is quite thick and long but is shaped weirdly. It's shaped like a banana (slightly not exactly like a banana) when fully erect and tilted/(crooked) slightly to the right.

- GF/Wife hate having sex with me cause they say it hurts. I still remember one gf i dated use to have sex with me like everyday iin the first week, then after 2 months she start making excuses not to have sex with me. it's like 3 times a week, to 2 times a month to 1 times every 2 month lololol

- When i go pooning in Vancouver, almost every girl complain about my dick lol. (they say it's too big). It ended up they using too much KY. And most of the time, no doggy, and no deep mish.

-A few SP told me that this "combination of dick" is the worst, they say it's ok to be big, but when it's shaped like this it will hurt any girls

-MOST IMPORTANTLY - it was harder for me to get orgasm, just positioning, it either hurt my cock or it hurt the girl.

p.s. i hate ky. I find that SP in Vancouver used too much ky. I miss the day when i live in HK and phoning these Enjo kōsai girls. Not one use KY and never complains about my dick lol
 
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F

Flanders

Chronic User
Jun 16, 2011
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I have too much money. Try as I might, I just can't spend it! Do you guys understand how stressfully that is? To manage a trust fund of this size? Sometimes I get so stressed I forget to send the staff home at the end of a long day!

On top of all this, I'm incredibly handsome, smart and charming. Life is SOOOOO unfair sometimes!!! At least I don't have your large cock problem. Tis the season of thanks...
 
PlayfulAlex

PlayfulAlex

Still Playing...
Jan 18, 2010
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doggy011111 said:
My dick is quite thick and long but is shaped weirdly. It's shaped like a banana (slightly not exactly like a banana) when fully erect and tilted/(crooked) slightly to the right.

- GF/Wife hate having sex with me cause they say it hurts. I still remember one gf i dated use to have sex with me like everyday iin the first week, then after 2 months she start making excuses not to have sex with me. it's like 3 times a week, to 2 times a month to 1 times every 2 month lololol

- When i go pooning in Vancouver, almost every girl complain about my dick lol. (they say it's too big). It ended up they using too much KY. And most of the time, no doggy, and no deep mish.

-A few SP told me that this "combination of dick" is the worst, they say it's ok to be big, but when it's shaped like this it will hurt any girls

-MOST IMPORTANTLY - it was harder for me to get orgasm, just positioning, it either hurt my cock or it hurt the girl.

p.s. i hate ky. I find that SP in Vancouver used too much ky. I miss the day when i live in HK and phoning these Enjo kōsai girls (real high school girl 16-20). Not one use KY and most are submissive and never complains about my dick lol
Click to expand...
All humour aside (gentlemen), this is a pretty serious situation. I have a few thoughts:

1) If you're a really great guy, you know the kind of guy that's a really great catch, you might actually have to figure out how to offer sex that's comfortable to both you and your partner. In other words, she loves everything about you, but the sex is uncomfortable, so you and she get creative and figure it out. Maybe you cannot have intercourse to completion, because the size and shape of your penis just isn't conducive to orgasm through intercourse. You may have to accept the fact that you can have intercourse for only a while, and then you and your girl will have to finish you off by hand (yours and hers) and mouth (hers). You won't be the first couple who had to get creative with sex, due to a variety of circumstances.

2a) If you're not willing to get creative and put some work and effort into dealing with your unique physical situation, you can expect to spend the rest of your life going from girl to girl, because your relationships are doomed to last only for a while. Most people can put up with various strange circumstances when they're getting to know someone, but break up when they realize that they can't stand it for the duration.

2b) You seek out and stick with women who are submissive and never complain about your dick.

3) You offer wealth, charm, personality, lifestyle, companionship, and freedom to a lady...and agree at the outset that she can have sex with whoever she wants to, because you agree to not have sex with her and, instead, seek out SPs who can tolerate the experience with you for only 30-60 minutes, or refer to 2b above.

As you can see, you've got lots of choices...
 
cherise

cherise

lounge access denied :(
Aug 6, 2012
1,147
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well this thread has got to be one of the most amusing i have had the pleasure to read in a long time ! i hope it continues bahaha
 
uncleg

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,655
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I

InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
3,087
91
48
doggy011111 said:
My dick is quite thick and long but is shaped weirdly. It's shaped like a banana (slightly not exactly like a banana) when fully erect and tilted/(crooked) slightly to the right.

- GF/Wife hate having sex with me cause they say it hurts. I still remember one gf i dated use to have sex with me like everyday iin the first week, then after 2 months she start making excuses not to have sex with me. it's like 3 times a week, to 2 times a month to 1 times every 2 month lololol

- When i go pooning in Vancouver, almost every girl complain about my dick lol. (they say it's too big). It ended up they using too much KY. And most of the time, no doggy, and no deep mish.

-A few SP told me that this "combination of dick" is the worst, they say it's ok to be big, but when it's shaped like this it will hurt any girls

-MOST IMPORTANTLY - it was harder for me to get orgasm, just positioning, it either hurt my cock or it hurt the girl.

p.s. i hate ky. I find that SP in Vancouver used too much ky. I miss the day when i live in HK and phoning these Enjo kōsai girls (real high school girl 16-20). Not one use KY and most are submissive and never complains about my dick lol
Click to expand...
Have you considered switching teams? Gay guys love big cocks... :pound:
 
T

the old maxx50

New member
Dec 22, 2010
779
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Yes I have seen that on a few porn stars .. they seem to do fine

Your size and not just the curve may have a lot to do with hurting the girls .. some can not take deep thrusting , or a large long dick They just are small

So don't try and then every one will be happy ..

The scaring and curvature is caused by thrombosis in the erectile tissue . a dick can easily get damaged . if you hit it or squeeze it to hard , or even blood getting partly trapped after an erection .. and either forms a blood clot or cause tissue damage .. so you don't get a full erection in that area .. Once the damage starts it can progressive .. as the circulation gets restricted in that area .

I have had a few thrombosis happen during erection They are a little pain full , but more so just uncomfortable and concerning .. Because I never know what causes them ..
When I notice one happen i take a few aspirins , hoping that that will thin the blood .. So far .. My dick has not developed any real curvature .

Of course there can be physical reason for it also .. like developmental problems of the penis erectile tissue
 
V

vancity_cowboy

hard riding member
Jan 27, 2008
5,491
8
38
on yer ignore list
there was a young man from kent
whose cock was exceedingly bent
to save himself trouble
he put it in double
AND INSTEAD OF CUMMING HE WENT!!! :pound: :pound: :pound:
 
uncleg

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,655
839
113
Jason_96 said:
You should embrace the fact that you have a huge cock. I'm sure 99.9% of the guys on here wish they had larger dicks.
Click to expand...
I'd agree with the larger, but if weird goes with it....................I'll pass. :D
 
wilde

wilde

Sinnear Member
Jun 4, 2003
3,037
44
48
Ms. Sarah said:
The ones making fun of the guy apparently missed the point of his post. He has a legit problem and it's really nothing to joke about, for him or his partners.
Click to expand...
You mean instead of discussing doggy's problem, what we have instead is two guys chasing each other like teenage girls;) in this thread. What else is new?:)
 
uncleg

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,655
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113
 
I

InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
3,087
91
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HunkaHunkaBurninLuv said:
you lost me...you hit on me and I had to turn you down. Hunka don't play that way. Give InTheBum a try, you might have better luck. Good Night!
Click to expand...
Don't include me in this queer shit! :pound::fear:
 
A

Avery

Gentleman Horndog
Jul 7, 2003
4,789
19
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Winnipeg
I wonder if doggy011111 is pulling our legs. Maybe he wants to replace tobleroney as the class clown. doggy011111 has reviewed several ladies (all small Asians, I think), with no mention of them having trouble dealing with his large, bent dick. Now all of a sudden, there is a problem, He also hasn't returned to this thread after more than 40 replies. HMMMMMM.....
 
uncleg

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,655
839
113
InTheBum said:
Don't include me in this queer shit! :pound::fear:
Click to expand...
But..........I thought you were the epicenter of this "queer Shit" ???????????????

 
O

OldbutwiseSP

New member
Sep 30, 2012
20
0
0
Neverneverland
Let this be a lesson to all those guys who wish they were packing more heat! A huge dick is almost useless. Plus if its really big then you'd never know what it feels like to bury it up to the back wheels in pussy or mouth lol:fear:
 
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