Carman Fox

Humour Hanging by a Thread

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H

hang5507

★Wannabe Sinner&#97
Oct 27, 2007
273
1
18
around town
AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS



An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a

7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.



He ran as fast as he could up the path.

He looked over his shoulder & saw that

the bear was closing in on him..

He looked over his shoulder again,

& the bear was even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw &

raising his right paw to strike him.




At that instant the Atheist cried out,

'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man,

a voice came out of the sky.

"You deny my existence for all these

years, teach others I don't exist and

even credit creation to cosmic accident."

"Do you expect me to help

you out of this predicament?"

"Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light,

"It would be hypocritical of me to

suddenly ask you to treat me as

a Christian now, but perhaps you

could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of

the forest resumed. The bear dropped

his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:



"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."


;) ;)
 
Z

zaig

Active member
Nov 21, 2003
284
32
28
Trackstar, how do you make it through a day? It must be hard to have all the knowledge of the world contained inside your head.
You are an expert on every subject known to man. You now have posted in 64 different threads in October alone. You must simply be an expert on time management as well. How else could you lead a life and find the time to contribute here as well.

Now I know you are going to tell me to go watch wrestling, get counsilling, maybe even some homophobic insults (your specialty), or even suggest that you are the all powerful guy upstairs, as you have elluded to in other posts.

You chastise everyone who differs with your incredible knowledge, insult them, and even go as far as suggesting they are gay (not there is anything wrong with that).

You play both sides of the fence, and then you accuse people of stalking, something you have perfected.

And the funny thing is, certain people on this board even request your opinion. I don't know which is sadder, you or them.

Now I know you are going to tell me to go shave my legs, or bend over or some brilliant comment such as that, but as I learned along time ago, when someone does insult you, the only thing you really have to consider is the source, and you lack any credibility.

Get a life.
 
trackstar

trackstar

Swollen Member
Jun 26, 2004
2,505
17
38
zaig said:
Trackstar, how do you make it through a day? It must be hard to have all the knowledge of the world contained inside your head.
You are an expert on every subject known to man. You now have posted in 64 different threads in October alone. You must simply be an expert on time management as well. How else could you lead a life and find the time to contribute here as well.

Now I know you are going to tell me to go watch wrestling, get counsilling, maybe even some homophobic insults (your specialty), or even suggest that you are the all powerful guy upstairs, as you have elluded to in other posts.

You chastise everyone who differs with your incredible knowledge, insult them, and even go as far as suggesting they are gay (not there is anything wrong with that).

You play both sides of the fence, and then you accuse people of stalking, something you have perfected.

And the funny thing is, certain people on this board even request your opinion. I don't know which is sadder, you or them.

Now I know you are going to tell me to go shave my legs, or bend over or some brilliant comment such as that, but as I learned along time ago, when someone does insult you, the only thing you really have to consider is the source, and you lack any credibility.

Get a life.
Click to expand...
lol, you follow me from thread to thread, count how many threads I have posted in :eek: and you tell me to get a life??? Go bend over and shave your legs you gay stalker that should get counseling instead of watching wrestling :rolleyes:
 
trackstar

trackstar

Swollen Member
Jun 26, 2004
2,505
17
38
ferris bueller said:
I think we get the point over and over again. YOU DONT LIKE PURR VERTICAL


Stop fucking up every thread he posts in with your childish flamewar. Its getting beyond the point of mild annoyance to irritating.
Click to expand...
Ah, like you with Bostitch or CLM? Mind your business hypocrite :rolleyes:
 
Z

zaig

Active member
Nov 21, 2003
284
32
28
trackstar said:
lol, you follow me from thread to thread, count how many threads I have posted in :eek: and you tell me to get a life??? Go bend over and shave your legs you gay stalker that should get counseling instead of watching wrestling :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Follow you. You are impossible to get away from.

Well, at least you didn't disappoint.

How many other threads are you going to infuse your brilliant: pick one.
commentary
sarcasim
knowledge
humour
insight
wisdom
opinion
 
D

DQ Guy

Ice cream man
May 2, 2008
1,437
10
0
The monster under your bed
would you guys just
SHUT UP ALREADY
 
H

hang5507

★Wannabe Sinner&#97
Oct 27, 2007
273
1
18
around town
Sign At Resturant;
All unattened children will be given an Espresso and a free Puppy

I cant stand it no more,:eek: :eek: , its unattended, unattended...:)

restaurant, restaurant..

nothing personal, just keeps getting my attention:) :)

Regards

H
 
D

DQ Guy

Ice cream man
May 2, 2008
1,437
10
0
The monster under your bed
Thank you, You have passed the DQ spelling test.:D

You may now move on to grade 2:D
 
D

DQ Guy

Ice cream man
May 2, 2008
1,437
10
0
The monster under your bed
5

56andfixed

New member
Oct 10, 2008
45
0
0
Victoria
A dyslexic nurse

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny.

"She's incrediblydumb. She does everything absolutely backwards." said one doctor.

"Just last week, I told her togive a patient 2 milligrams of percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours.He nearly died on us!"

The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!"

Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall.

"Oh my God!" said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"
 
U

Ulysses

Member
Nov 14, 2002
340
0
16
Vancouver
Disgusted

56andfixed said:
A Japanese doctor says, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in 6 weeks.'

A German doctor says, 'That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks.'

A British doctor says, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another and have both of them out looking for work in two weeks.'

The American doctor, not to be outdone, interjected, 'You guys are way behind. We are about to take a Muslim with no brains, put him in the White House, and then half the country will be out looking for work in one week.'
Click to expand...
This racist crap is supposed to be funny?? :( :(
 
5

56andfixed

New member
Oct 10, 2008
45
0
0
Victoria
For some Hogan's Heros was funny.

For others, it was a crime.

This is a thread for humour, not criticism for an attempt.

Start a new thread.

And check the meds. They may require refridgeration.
 
trackstar

trackstar

Swollen Member
Jun 26, 2004
2,505
17
38
56andfixed said:
For others, it was a crime.

This is a thread for humour, not criticism for an attempt.

Start a new thread.

And check the meds. They may require refridgeration.
Click to expand...
I think it's a generational thing 56. What is not considered racist and inappropriate for your generation could be considered very racist to the younger generation. Kind of like the old lady that still says coloured people and chinamen. She doesn't see much wrong with it, yet everyone under 50 can't believe that she still talks like that.
 
H

hang5507

★Wannabe Sinner&#97
Oct 27, 2007
273
1
18
around town
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