Girls ....help me out here....do I need to harden my heart.

[Extreme April]

Ok maybe I am a softee or to soft for this job.
I have heard it and seen it posted that we are nothing but hoes and prostitutes.
Ok if you want to be blunt about it....sure that is what we are and sure if you really want to be crude about it...the clients we see are "johns" , "tricks" etc. But this anaolgy has really bothered me. Why? Cause I think it dehumanize us all.
We have feelings and a heart.
Ok, so I have only been doing this a short time but even a few sesssions with the same client....I develope a friendship with.

Now here is my question to the girls that have been in this industry for awhile.
I cant bring myself to separate the human and caring side of me, from the "hooker" side.
I am sorry but I do care about my clients.
The last couple of days have been especially hard on me. Not because my clients were asses or anything. In fact quite the oppposite. Very caring and respectful.
In the past two days. A client that has seen me on a regular basis has confided in me on their health situation.
Last night, one client informed me that he wont be seeing me anymore.....why?.....he has a inoperable brain tumor and has been given 6 months to live. Sure he could be pulling my leg, but why make up something like this. And the fact that I saw the scar myself, confirms what I feared.
I was so upset and couldnt control my tears......my client had to console me. I could barely breath, I had been crying so much.
I managed through this, but I was met again with a client that I had not seen for month. What does he inform me of......he has pancriatic cancer. Yeah he will survive. But damn this is really hard on my soul.
How do you girls handle this.? Am I just being a whooos. Or maybe because this hits home too much.
I lost my first husband to Hodgeskins disease (lymphnoid cancer) and then my brother in law to a brain tumor.

It really pisses me off, when I am refferred to as just a "hoe" or "prostitute".
Because I think I am beyond this stereotype.
What about the clients that are so disfigured because of one thing or another. Would these guys have a chance in the "REAL" world with a regular girl out there??????. Most of our world is based on looks.
Yes I am a HOE or a PRO......but damn I AM PROUD OF IT THEN!!!!!!
Cause if I can love someone or make them feel loved ......then what the hell is wrong with that. Am I unfeeling then....absolutely not....cause I can cry and feel for my clients. I really do care what happens to them.
But how do function as "pro" on a daily basis. How do you girls deal with this? Or is this just something we have to deal with? Sure they could be lying but still, I am sure not all are.

love and laughs
April

 

[xinvaderchrisx]

Never ever feel bad about feeling bad. It's life. It's awesome to see someone take pride in their job and care for their customers, no matter what industry. Good service is so fucking hard to find these days.

The fact of the matter is that everyone pays for every service out there, why would anyone think sex would be any different?

You providing your service, is no different than a chiropractor fixing someone's back. He's good at alignments, you're good at having sex.

 

[Vienna]

April,

I don't know how long you've been in this biz for, but what I do know is that just be careful. There's nothing wrong with being a "softy", but at the same time you're not a doormat. I'm sure your regs don't treat you as one, but you know there are some guys out there that can spot a "softy" and take advantage of it. By this I'm just saying make sure this doesn't happen to you. I've seen girls get taken advantage of in many horrible way by clients of theirs. Some were new clients and some were long time regulars.

You have to remember that you don't really know every single one of your clients that sees you, so don't believe everything you hear either. I've heard it all. lol How do you really know that all these health problems and tragedies they tell you are true? Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Or maybe you just think you do. lol I dunno...

Honestly, any one of the girls can tell you things to do or watch out for, but in the end you're the one in the room with the client one on one. I'm sure you're all good and don't have to worry. There's no handbook or guide on "How to be a good SP" etc....you just have to go with what you know and like everyone always says, trust your gut feeling!!! It's never wrong.

 

[SNM1981]

April you are being bothered by the analogy of being a called a hoe and a prostitute and feel dehumanized. Well yes you are both of these and I am a john/trick. These names come from "society". Well fuck the general "society". Who are they to tell us how to run our lives? Gays are "fags" and "dykes" and Gay marriage should be outlawed. Oh and pornography is demeaning to women. According the society and religious groups. I totally disagree how the general public thinks they can set guidelines on how humans are to live their lives. We are only on this earth for a short period of time and I believe we should do as we please as long as we don't harm others. Society itself is a joke so I'm not gonna worry about what they say and will never let someone tell me how to run my life. "Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me!!!" Oh and my comment about how society hates pornography due to it being demeaning to women. Note to society-- Then suck your husbands dick in private every once in awhile and maybe he wouldn't need to watch someone else do it. Am I off track here? Oh and yes you have a great heart because you're a human being who cares. Too bad the rest of us weren't like that. And don't harden your heart because you never know when someone else may need your softer side.

 

[gumbyman6900]

I am a very regular client of one SP in particular in the city and over the past 2.5+ years that I have been seeing her, I have confided a number of things with her. When I injured my shoulder and had surgery, it was very nice to have her to kinda BS with. Sure, it may have been too much for me to expect, but over the last few years, I would like to think that is what keeps me coming back. She is responsive to my issues and has a genuine caring quality about her. I am not saying that she cares deeply for me, or me for her, but I certainly respect greatly her for her kindness to me and have no regrets for telling her anything.

As much as I think you open yourself up to hurt sometimes by being a softy, that is something that is a part of every day life, whether it is with a client in this industry, or a fellow actor in a theatre production. Relationships happen in all manners and emotions get involved when sad stuff happens, regardless of how the relationship was formed.

That being said, for the fellow that told you he couldn't see you again because he had a terminal illness was probably as choked up for telling you as you were for receiving the news. As much as you may not have been happy to hear it, you should be proud that he felt you were important enough to tell. Sure, there may have been self-motivated reasons for saying it... but I tend to error on the side of not. If I had something that devastating happen, I am not sure who I would tell...

That's just my thoughts on it.

Gumby.

 

[Rachelle25]

April..We do not know eachother but I can say that I respect you very much. So many girls are hardened or jaded by the business. There are some yourself and I like to think myself that truly do make connections with our clients. How could we not? We are being intimate on so many levels...I truly do care for my clients.I have many regulars that I hope will be lifelong friends as we have a true connection not just sexually but more importantly emotionally.....You are a caring person and have not been jaded by what you do! To me this shows that you are indeed an amazing woman. I'd like to add that if one of my dear friends was sick I too would be devasted not because I'm loosing a customer but because I'm loosing a friend and in some ways a soul mate...we all have many soul mates and one could easily have started as a client and turned out to be a true friend!

I'm so pleased that there are more woman that have a truly kind heart and soul! You my dear are one of these woman!

 

[turbo66]

April

I feel for you, but I don't think these gentleman should be telling you or wait for the right time.
Anyone who calls a SP a "HO" or "Prostitue" (Hate those words) has a personnel problem. The SP's I have seen were some of the the nicest ladies I have ever met. SP's give us a service that we men and woman should appreciate to the max.
I've only seen 4 SP's before, but a girl I met in college, was a SP. We went together for 1.5years while we went to college. During her time she did connect with some clients but she tried her best to keep it as fun as possible but tried to keep it seperate from her personal life best as possible. She said it was very diffulcult at times but she did her best by keeping the her personall life and her working life seperate. I told her when it's not fun or when it starts to afect her personelly to take some time off.
By sounds of it you love your career so hang in there and continue having fun.

 

[GPguy]

We are all Human and have feelings....

 

[vetteman]

April,

It is refreshing to hear that there are still some caring people out there, regardless of their profession or background. Over the years I have visited a number of ladies that appeared to be hard or jaded and it reflected in the service they provided as most of the time that service was mechanical and without emotion of any type, leaving you still wanting.

Can't wait to get back to Edmonton to set up a session with someone who appears to enjoy what they do and has caring side towards the clients satisfaction.

You are a breath of fresh air.

Respectively yours,
Vetteman

 

[TooMuchFun22]

Pooners Perspective

Interesting thread.

I have never met or stayed with April. That being said, she seems very genuine and real, and that is great.

But, the harsh reality for the SPs out there is that there are POONERS that will buy WHATEVER you are selling. And many who want to buy more than just an hour. TRUST ME on this. It is no word of a lie. You would be shcoked at what kind of PM's a guy gets after he posts a review...... guys looking to learn tid bits of personal information about their favorite SP, guys asking for explicit details so that they can compare their mileage stroke for stroke.

Guys telling you to stop seeing their favorite SP becasue they are trying to help her get out of the business and they think it will be easier if their income goes down.

POONERs will buy what ever is being sold.

 

[HB40]

I am sorry but I do care about my clients.

Cause if I can love someone or make them feel loved ......then what the hell is wrong with that.

I have never met or stayed with April.

POONERs will buy what ever is being sold.

You're an idiot TMF, she's not talking about something she is selling. I really don't care about your pooner perspectives or egotistical jibberjabber and wish you would just shut up sometimes. Maybe if you met April you might actually get a relevant perspective on this industry. April is the opposite of YMMV, she gives all she is to every client and makes us feel special.

I love you April, please don't change. You are a saint sweetheart.

 

[TooMuchFun22]

You're an idiot TMF, she's not talking about something she is selling. I really don't care about your pooner perspectives or egotistical jibberjabber and wish you would just shut up sometimes. Maybe if you met April you might actually get a relevant perspective on this industry. April is the opposite of YMMV, she gives all she is to every client and makes us feel special.

I love you April, please don't change. You are a saint sweetheart.

I didn't realize this was your thread HB40.

What is said was in response to April and to Vienna's follow up.

What I say is right. I have phenomenal perspective on things...... I am sorry REALITY MAKES YOU FEEL PATHETIC but that isn't my fault.

 

[gumbyman6900]

I didn't realize this was your thread HB40.

What is said was in response to April and to Vienna's follow up.

What I say is right. I have phenomenal perspective on things...... I am sorry REALITY MAKES YOU FEEL PATHETIC but that isn't my fault.

WOW... you really are clueless... no... you have "YOUR" perspective on things. That, in no way, makes it phenomenal.

 

[Tiffany]

Vienna

I believe there is a handbook on how to be a good sp here

April

I think we should be certified therapists. Don't lose your compassion but don't let those take advantage of your good heart. Call me what you will but I know who I am. That's enough for me.

I choose not to see those who like to disrespect myself or others that I work with. Money is not worth feeling like your nothing more than a warm wet hole.

Just my thoughts

Tiff

 

[Extreme April]

Hi everyone,
Thank you for your dear comments. But I think I may have mislead you in what I meant about being proud to be an SP.

The clients that told me they were ill.....were not the ones that said the comments about being ho`s/hookers/pros....etc.

I have to explain....I was upset after seeing this post here....

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=101763

I was going to reply to this post but then got busy with one of the clients that I mentioned in this original post.

After my client left....I felt like not adding to this senseless post, and do my own post. And point out that there is nothing to feel bad for what we do. Especially for those that are disfigured......I will never feel bad for doing what I do. No regrets. No guilt. So the original statement was actually intended for guys like VYBE and those that think like him.

At the same time.....I wanted to know from the SP`s point of view. How one handles getting attatched and caring about your clients. I am sure my client didnt come in to make me cry...but to take his mind off of his illness. I find it hard to keep strong when I hear about stuff like this.

I am sorry for the confusion.
You are all very dear for answering my post.

love and laughs
April

 

[moi]

I think it's important to connect with your clients, but at the same time, know what each client needs. Some clients get very scared off when an SP gets emotionally attached to them, and some want that. As SPs, we need to know the difference and to keep a balance.
You sound like a very caring person and because of personal experience, illness is a soft spot for you, but more times than not, men see us because they don't need the emotional baggage they get at home and we are to be the perfect girlfriend, not too emotional not too plastic, or whatever fantasy they desire.

Don't change your caring self but keep in mind sympathy and empathy are two different things.

 

[justpervin]

April, Though I've only met you once so far, I still just wanted to offer you a hug after reading your post. I think it's your heart that makes you who you are. Please don't steel it up. ((April))

 

[Violet]

If the word Prostitute upsets you, then I'm sorry, ask any psychologist and they'll say the same thing - you are not proud of what you do and it makes you ashamed. Are you ashamed of what you do? If not, if you are fine with it, then be proud to be called a Prostitute.

That makes no sense, if someone is offended by a word, they are offended by that word, & the stereotypes or negative impressions it conjures. That is like saying if a black person doesn't like the word "nigger" then that means he is ashamed to be black.


EDIT: Ok, upon furthur research, i.e. reading all of Vybe's posts, I have come to the conclusion that this guy cannot possibly be for real & is merely playing devil's advocate for his own amusement. I suppose he finds fucking with people amusing

 

[HB40]

Vybe you are an...

Idiot

Id"i*ot\, n. [F. idiot, L. idiota an uneducated, ignorant, ill-informed person, Gr. ?, also and orig., a private person, not holding public office, fr. ? proper, peculiar. See Idiom.]

1. A man in private station, as distinguished from one holding a public office. [Obs.]

2. An unlearned, ignorant, or simple person, as distinguished from the educated; an ignoramus. [Obs.]

3. A human being destitute of the ordinary intellectual powers, whether congenital, developmental, or accidental; commonly, a person without understanding from birth; a natural fool; a natural; an innocent.

4. A fool; a simpleton; -- a term of reproach.

 

[jim]

Idiot

Id"i*ot\, n. [F. idiot, L. idiota an uneducated, ignorant, ill-informed person, Gr. ?, also and orig., a private person, not holding public office, fr. ? proper, peculiar. See Idiom.]

1. A man in private station, as distinguished from one holding a public office. [Obs.]

2. An unlearned, ignorant, or simple person, as distinguished from the educated; an ignoramus. [Obs.]

3. A human being destitute of the ordinary intellectual powers, whether congenital, developmental, or accidental; commonly, a person without understanding from birth; a natural fool; a natural; an innocent.

4. A fool; a simpleton; -- a term of reproach.

Hmmm isn't that dissing the Idiots?