Drug Addiction and your SP-Is it ever appropriate for Clients to stage interventions?

[rockinbods35]

I am going to ask for advice from fellow pooners and SP's about this subject.

Unfortunately some SP's take to using or abusing drugs. It is certainly tragic to see your favorite SP walk down this path and change dramatically from the person you knew to someone only concerned with the next high. Behaviour becomes more risky as the need for the drug over rides any other drives, and of course the health concerns, weight loss, etc.

Should clients just walk away from long term SP's that become addicts or should we try to help them get back on the straight and narrow? I am not sure it would be appropriate for us to intervene, even with the best of intentions, or they would even welcome the help if we offered it. It is just frustrating and sad to see someone you know and perhaps have grown attached to slowly waste away.

If you were to intervene does anyone have suggestions on how to do it? Have they ever done it for LTR SP? If so how did it go?

Or do we just stand by and hope for the best, hope they get they help they need and move on so we aren't providing money to them so they can continue getting the drug they need/want?

I am interested in hearing what people think.

 

[luvsdaty]

Yeah, not really any of your business dude.were do you draw the line? The check out person at Tim Hortons,the mail man, the cable guy? People have free will to make there own choices in life,some of us make bad choices.And no white knight is gonna save a person from those choices.

 

[rockinbods35]

You are a client, not a family member. You should stay the hell out of it. Get some boundaries or this game will eat you alive. And if you are seeing an SP you know to be a junkie, I am sorry, but you are not making smart choices and I hope to hell we don't ever see the same women.

dude what are you suggesting? did I say I was continuing to see her? No...I said she was an LTR..it's her drug abuse now that has got me out of the picture. I don't want to put myself at risk. Perhaps that wasn't clear in my post..well I am making it now. Once I realized the extent of the drug abuse, I told her she needed to get help and I wouldn't be supporting her anymore.

In regards to who you have seen..how do you know the practices of the girls you see? You don't know who they see or what they do with those people when they are with them..or whether they use drugs or not. Perhaps they only use them recreationally so you don't see the effects. So do not assume I am seeing junkies..I am merely commenting on someone I know who has gone down the wrong path and whether it's appropriate or not to offer assistance or help to such people should they need/want it.

Are you telling me if you saw someone in trouble at the side of the road you would just walk past them and say? "Not my problem" because you don't want to cross inappropriate boundaries?...It that were the case we should just say fuck them all?! I ain't getting my hands dirty...not my issue.

I agree client/SP probably not a good mix to get involved..but at the same time what if you are the closest thing that person has to a friend?...Do you turn your back on them if they genuinely need /wanthelp?..I don't think I could be so heartless..regardless if some people think I am crossing boundaries or not.

 

[rockinbods35]

Yeah, not really any of your business dude.were do you draw the line? The check out person at Tim Hortons,the mail man, the cable guy? People have free will to make there own choices in life,some of us make bad choices.And no white knight is gonna save a person from those choices.

Yes they do...and obviously we all know that you can't force someone to get help if they don't want it. It's just sad to see. To watch someone waste away...knowing they need help, knowing that it is also not appropriate for you to offer that help, and also knowing that if they don't get help they are going to die.

I guess unless we are a family member, or some other person of significance of their lives we just wipe our hands clean and walk away eh?...not my problem.

I agree we can't get involved in the lives of everyone we meet, or try to save each person from the wrong choices they make...but where is human decency?...Where is lending a hand or helping someone up who is down an out? I am sure such groups such as AA would never have gotten off the ground if everyone felt that way...in such environments perfect strangers assist one another and get invested in one another's lives because they care. I know AA is a place people go when they want help, but you can't tell me such individuals don't occasionally reach out to others in the community and attempt to assist someone in active addiction?

 

[cjac7214]

You should also ask yourself what this escort (or any other that you have ever met) would do for you in similar circumstances? Friendship is a two-way street. If you know the answer is nothing, as it would be in virtually every case, then you know what you should do. Tell her she has a problem that you won't support and move on.

Drug use/abuse is a common occurence in this activity unfortunately.

 

[rexxx]

You can't be a client of hers and be part of the solution you're part of the problem

 

[the old maxx50]

Drug use was the first thing i saw when i started seeing escorts .. Abuse was not that easy for me to spot because many of the girls were long time user, starting when they were in there early teens .. The girls i was seeing usually were high and I0 did not even know it until years later ,, and knowing them better .. then i saw the signs .

Addiction of any kind .. can only get help when the addict decides they want to quite .. and I am not one for interventions .. that is something only their family can do .. and that is not as much an intervention as them say we will help you if you want help .. .

I know a few girls that have quite ,and it is not an easy thing for them ,, they still relapse or find another habit,, and have to start over ,, a number of time before they maybe can kick it ,, It also take going to programs rehab,and consoling ...

What i have done is just stayed there friend , giving them hope that some one cares about them and help out as I can .. I don't use drugs , smoke and seldom even drink . all can be is an example of some one who isn't an addict ...( I certainly have my addictions )

When it come to not supporting their habit .. Honestly I rather . give them a little money ., have them being honest with me about where it is going , them have them do what ever else they will to get that money for drugs .. They will get it no matter what .. , They may go with out for a while , get sick , depressed , and buy some cheap shit .. from who ever .. They won't stop until they desire too.. Just helping them realize how deadly , foolish and senseless drug are ,that some time is all it take I have found that just the humiliation of them admitting over and over again to a friend , that they know cares .. That help the most making them want to change .

But getting off drugs or booze all takes time , if they have been doing it for years with out you even knowing , then no you are not part of the problem .. hanging around ,, might help with the solution ,, In the end it will all ways be their chose that saves them or kills them ..

It is tuff to see girls .. go down to the bottom .. we only here and see those that are the worst .. But if you look around there are so many more that are just hanging on ,, Party girls ,, office workers , store clerks , and SP .. even mothers and fathers .. of all generations . THere is no easy way to solve the problem , and each one may be helped in different ways ..

If you care do your best to help ,, if you don't think you can handle it walk away ..

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

I guess it's been an unwritten rule of mine.

But I've never seen an SP while I was high or drunk, and I've never to my knowledge been with an SP who was high or drunk. Certainly getting involved with a drug addict is wrong on so many levels.

She many not even be in this business of her own free will.

If it were me, I would stay away, but I'd always let her know that I'm available to chat with via e-mails or something along those lines. Once she's been clean for 5-6 months then maybe some kind of relationship can be re-established.

 

[Sonny]

Unfortunately there is not much that can be done at the individual level, other than that person wanting to get off drugs with the help of concerned helpful family and true friends.

On the national level, we should discuss imposing mandatory minimum 30 year sentences for pushers of all kinds.
These scum are the killers of society. Supply lines dry up pretty fast when the medium is gone.
As for the primary sources, mandatory life sentences with no chance of parole.

And keep them all in the same prisons just for pushers. No visitors, no contact with the outside world.

 

[rockinbods35]

The only question I have is would you stage the intervention after the session or before? "Ummm miss, you still have a bit of my jizz on your face still and I do need to speak with you about your drug use"

Haha, that is too funny. But your humour does make a valid point, as a client I am in situation where I am not well suited to help her address her drug issues, especially if I would continue seeing her, which I told her after I had confirmation from several sources she did indeed have a drug addiction that I would not see her anymore

 

[rockinbods35]

Interventions are staged for not only the person suffering from an addiction but for the family members and close friends. That person either accepts the offer of help to get treatment or family and friends walk and will no longer enable that person in their self-destructive behaviour. Interventions are last ditch attempts to salvage that individual when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Sorry, but you're simply not in the position to stage an intervention. I don't see anything wrong with expressing your concerns to that person. But, basically, if you do, you've crossed the line. You can't continue to see them on a professional basis, because, guess what, your money is buying the drugs that you're so concerned will kill them. You want them to do what, stop taking drugs so you can continue to fuck them. Perhaps they're taking drugs because they hate what they're doing. Now what?

I've read your review of this unfortunate girl, and basically, you don't want to know what I think of you personally. This, I'm a good guy routine of yours is positively sickening. You sure in the hell didn't give a damn about her that day, only that you were out your $150. The girl's a bone rack but you still wanted to have anal with her, despite the fact she told you it was painful.

This is what you wrote about her, remember.



Yeah, lot of sympathy there.

Well I should point out that at the time I saw her I was not privy to her addiction. I may have had my suspicions (weight loss, seedy area, and hours of work) but I had no confirmation. It was not time sometime after she scammed me that I had that suspicion confirmed, so at that time I included that warning about her drug abuse in my review.

I don't claim to be a saint, far from it. I have made many mistakes in my life and have many regrets. One of those may be letting my personal feeling override my better judgement from time to time.

I believe you guys are right though, I am not in a position to provide that kind of help, nor would she likely appreciate it if I offered it. I am a client, she is an SP...there is no way around that. It doesn't matter how often I have seen her in the past, how close we were, or how great I thought our connection was...at the end of the day it was still a paid date.

It's just sad to watch someone you know and on some level cared about (appropriate or not) slowly succumb to drug abuse, and yet feel powerless to do anything about it

 

[rockinbods35]

Telling her you won't see her unless she cleans up is probably about all you can do. If you were very close with her you might be able to prod a bit more that you care and worry and want her healthy but nothing severe like an intervention. No matter how close you are, and especially if she is high all the time and not thinking straight, she will likely brush it off as "you're a client and it's none of your business".

Sorry to hear about this. It sucks to see someone you like go down a dark path and feel unable to help. I have a friend who is going through some pretty severe drug problems right now and since we are not very close there isn't much I can do. I try but it all comes down to her being an adult and it's her choices. She knows I don't support it and she knows I'm here if she wants help... That's all I can do...

I appreciate that, you are right. I have told her as much. I couldn't continue to support her if was going to continue to abuse drugs and she should go get some help as I have serious concerns about her future welfare if she doesnt, and If she wants some help I am here. I left it at that...she hasn't reached out, and I doubt she ever will.

 

[rockinbods35]

I've seen this many times over the years plenty of SW's are into drugs, some can maintain themselves quite well for years and years and even get clean. I've always encouraged them to get help and there were times when a gal I knew was really drug sick I gave her a ride so she could score cause she was in bad shape. The one thing when I realize they were out of control I would tell them they needed to get some help and I would no longer see them if they didn't. Its pretty sad cause I've known some really beautiful girls and seen them decline over the years till they were a shell of themselves. I've also seen some pretty strung out gals get clean and become vibrant happy people that volunteer on the DTES and help get others into programs, I never like to write someone off but in your case all you can do is encourage her to seek help. Don't get involved and don't enable her with more of your cash, its a shitty part of this scene but some go all the way down and eventually perish. This was a rude awakening for me as in the beginning I didn't know this beautiful sexy babe was even into drugs, she got worse and worse and then another girl told me she had died, how horrible but that is what can happen.

Wow, I am sorry to hear that man. I guess that is what I am worried about here...I would hate to hear about how she had died from a drug overdose or got murdered by a drug dealer over a drug debt. It's just such a vicious cycle.

I believe we definitely need more programs out there for drug abuse, especially perhaps more outreach to SP's as I have no idea how widespread the use of drugs is among them, but I have a feeling it's probably more common than we would like to believe. Maybe not so much among the ladies on this board, but they only account for a small percentage of all the girls posting out there.

 

[CutieAngie]

This is good advice. I do not think you should get involved, but suggest and let her know your concern that she get some help[. Until then let her know you will no longer be able to see her.
In the end hopefully she has friends and family who will stand by and support her emotionally as it is a tough road ahead. And only she alone can make the decision to seek help if she really wants it.

I've seen this many times over the years plenty of SW's are into drugs, some can maintain themselves quite well for years and years and even get clean. I've always encouraged them to get help and there were times when a gal I knew was really drug sick I gave her a ride so she could score cause she was in bad shape. The one thing when I realize they were out of control I would tell them they needed to get some help and I would no longer see them if they didn't. Its pretty sad cause I've known some really beautiful girls and seen them decline over the years till they were a shell of themselves. I've also seen some pretty strung out gals get clean and become vibrant happy people that volunteer on the DTES and help get others into programs, I never like to write someone off but in your case all you can do is encourage her to seek help. Don't get involved and don't enable her with more of your cash, its a shitty part of this scene but some go all the way down and eventually perish. This was a rude awakening for me as in the beginning I didn't know this beautiful sexy babe was even into drugs, she got worse and worse and then another girl told me she had died, how horrible but that is what can happen.

 

[luvsdaty]

Some people hide it very well.They don't all look like the toothless "Rock Bay " special. I've seen a lot of sp's over the years & you'd be surprised how many of them "use" at least in Victoria. Smoking heroin is the worst! Drugs don"t descriminate, they'll mess up rich people just as easily as poor folks,it doesn't care about race or social stature.Some people just have an addictive nature too.
I feel for the OP, but Angela Arouses hit the nail on the head, she has too hit rock bottom & even then that might not be enough.
About all you can do is stop seeing them as a client, otherwise you're just enabeling them.

 

[the old maxx50]

it is a funny about this attitude about not seeing them because you don't want to enable them .. we? your just one of many clients .. and you have all ready been seeing her a number of times .. so yes you all ready has help pay for her drugs .. Now that you know .. your conscious won't let you continue to pay for her drugs . Like i said .. one person more or less will not stop her from using. It take a lot m,ore then that .. and it has to come from them making a chose to get help and stop.. Yes they all have to hit some kind of bottom , it is not the same for every one .

 

[luvsdaty]

It's a tough call,having dealt with this on a personnel level, i ended up seeing a councillor & this was the advice that i was given.Give support,but don't enable them.In the long run it's that persons choice.It's a viscious circle,even if you're not paying for there drugs,say helping them with there rent,phone etc.It becomes a co-dependant situation.You trying to "save" them,them needing you for the money,& they will say anything to keep stringing you along.Just as long as you keep giving them money.

 

[the old maxx50]

If you are helping ,, then yes they do become dependent on you .. If they are off drugs ,, not working as an SP . then they do need some one to help out .. Usually recovering from years of using takes years of not using ,, and they all ways slip up .. Taking rehab , therapy , and counseling takes up time and even holding a job is going to be tuff for them ,,Social assistance ,, seem to be their main source for income and that doen;t pay enough to live on So if you are helping them you will end up paying for some things ,, and if they have family they usually will be helping pay for exerts also..

recovery is not some thing that most can do alone ..

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

If you are helping ,, then yes they do become dependent on you .. If they are off drugs ,, not working as an SP . then they do need some one to help out .. Usually recovering from years of using takes years of not using ,, and they all ways slip up .. Taking rehab , therapy , and counseling takes up time and even holding a job is going to be tuff for them ,,Social assistance ,, seem to be their main source for income and that doen;t pay enough to live on So if you are helping them you will end up paying for some things ,, and if they have family they usually will be helping pay for exerts also..

recovery is not some thing that most can do alone ..

I'm much more knowledgable in this area than I would wish to be, but I agree with your assessment. However, if you're seeing an SP and paying money for sex, you really aren't her friend, point one. And point two, unless someone is willing to help themselves, no amount of effort on yours or anyone else's part is going to be enough.

If I were a family member I may agree to pay her rent if I thought she was clean, but it would go staight to the landlord, so I wouldn't have to wonder. If she needed clothes, I would go with her to buy clothes, but only once. If she needed a phone, she'd better starting getting some kind of income on her own.

 

[VanessaofBC]

I just thought I would add my two cents by saying that it is very thoughtful of you to consider this... when most try to aid in the addiction, for whatever (selfish) reasons they may have. I think it is worth telling her that you care.