delayed ejaculation

[the virgin gary]

health nurse,

i'm 26 years old and have never been able to ejaculate through intercouse. i have been sexually active since the age of 21. i can ejaculate and hold an erection as long as i want to (generally) when i masturbate alone. i can get and maintain an erection when i am with a partner as well as engage in intercouse for extremelly long periods.

every time i talk to my doctor he gives me more viagra. which i don't need and lasts for days. i have been on lithium to treat my bipolar disorder for the last year. i have not noticed an effect on my sex drive but it still may have one. i was on risperdial for six months prior and have not taken it since.

obviously this is frustrating and humiliating and i'll take any advice i can get. i'm so sick and angry at dealing with this. i find i avoid intimacy all together or am very selective due to my condition. thank u.

 

[ZombieTor]

I started taking anti-depressants a couple months ago and it has made cumming very difficult at times. My sex drive has also taken a bit of a dive. I talked to my doctor about it, and the only thing she suggested was viagra, which I don't need since it's not a problem getting hard. Apparently all SSRI's have this problem. I can generally always cum when masturbating, but sex has been harder since I've started taking the drugs. I guess maybe you have a similar issue?

Another thing that is kind of a problem for me is that I'm not circumcised. My foreskin is a little tight and can sometimes feel uncomfortable having sex, especially if it's rough. I've looked it up a bit on various other forums and my issue with this is definitely not as great as some other guys. Combined with the harder time orgasming, I've been a little frustrated myself.

Since you didn't mention it, I assume my second point has nothing to do with you, but I can relate to being frustrated about difficulty orgasming. Just don't get too into your head about it, and just because you may have a harder time cumming during penetrative sex, doesn't mean you have to avoid sex entirely. It just takes a little more focus and someone willing to help you along that doesn't make you feel pressured.

My two cents.

 

[the virgin gary]

that's the thing i've only been on meds for the last two years maybe. my foreskin is a little tight during sex play like hand jobs but its not a real problem i don't think.

i mean i've gone to huge lengths and nothing works. like totally changing the way i masturbate to simulate vaginal sex as closely as possible even timing myself to focus and cum in 10 minutes. but like fucking nothing works and how do you explain this to a girl you just met? or got to a cathouse where the girls want you to cum and wash you out as quickly as possible? fucking crazy man.

thanks for your post though. if anyone else wants to throw their two cents in where all listening here.

 

[dogg]

I've been running into that too.. and I am on an SSRI I think.. Cipralex.. never thought it might just be inhibiting the ejaculation part.. I too can come ok masturbating etc.. but not during sex or oral. hmmm..

 

[virginjohn]

Risperidone causes sexual side effects, so do all SSRIs, most pain medication (Tramadol and opiates), some blood pressure medication and street drugs (Cocaine and amphetamines). If you are not using any of these then you should talk to your doctor, tell him Viagra is not working. You might need to see a therapist for this problem.

 

[GMT]

stop masturbating. take a little time. Works for me, been on ssri's 4 yrs.

There are some times (4 me with someone new) when it's just not gonna work. Here is where the one that gotta way story fits in.

My sad case, tall young beautiful body, great tits, cute face, big smile, the prettiest tritest little pussy I've seen 4 a very long time. Yup a bit rushed thru the bj, uncovered yet, and the little fella could not take his shot, no matter how she huffed and puffed or how many try agains there was to be no juice.

I could not do justice to that wonderful cunt.
She was willing (and a bit surprised I think) I wanted so bad to get it there ann just... but the flesh went weak.

No splash and then a third attempt lift off failure.
It was awful. Only happen once in a while n I'm an old guy. I will be calling her again within the week, I shall prevail! My will is done.

 

[Health Nurse]

health nurse,

i'm 26 years old and have never been able to ejaculate through intercouse. i have been sexually active since the age of 21. i can ejaculate and hold an erection as long as i want to (generally) when i masturbate alone. i can get and maintain an erection when i am with a partner as well as engage in intercouse for extremelly long periods.

every time i talk to my doctor he gives me more viagra. which i don't need and lasts for days. i have been on lithium to treat my bipolar disorder for the last year. i have not noticed an effect on my sex drive but it still may have one. i was on risperdial for six months prior and have not taken it since.

obviously this is frustrating and humiliating and i'll take any advice i can get. i'm so sick and angry at dealing with this. i find i avoid intimacy all together or am very selective due to my condition. thank u.

Hi the virgin gary

It sounds like what is happening is very frustrating for you. It also sounds like your doctor is not helping with the situation.

This is not an area I have experience in but what I can do is give you a link for additional information for now and see if I can find someone locally who can give me some information.

Here is some information from Dr Stacy Elliot, she works at the sexual medicine clinic in Vancouver.
http://www.aboutmen.ca/health-areas...enis-health/sexual-health/delayed-ejaculation

Also just some quick questions. If you don't feel comfortable with the questions, you can always send me a private message.

Why is your doctor giving you Viagra if you don't have trouble with erections?

Is the trouble ejaculating only with SP or steady partners as well?

Have you ever had intercourse without a condom?

How often are you able to masturbate to ejaculation?

Take care

HN

 

[custard]

For a couple years, i was also on cipralex. My sex drive shot down to nothing, and orgasm's were difficult. Everything went back to normal when i got off of it. I got off because i never had a solid stool, when i was on it.

I also have difficulty achieving orgasm with some SP's. Its my nerves most of the time, only a few times its the condom. When there is a lack of imtimacy, i usually have trouble, or if the girl is 'loose', or ugly.

 

[laurel love]

sorry to put my 2 cents in here. I wonder if doctor's know anything about sex? I mean sex and drugs. I know someone on meds related to cholesterol or blood pressure, can't remember which one, but, he has trouble reaching orgasm. We looked online and there were several posts by men of all ages finding the same problem with this medication.

I had a period of no orgasms as well. I know I'm just a woman, but, I actually had a period where I could not get interested in sex, even masturbating. I was on cipralex for a bit too, actually, cause someone who was on it suddenly got interested in exercise and was not interested in eating so much, and I figured I might lose that elusive 10lbs,

Doctors give viagra and cipralex away like candy. The drug didn't make me feel like exercising so I gave it up and now I am all horny again ha ha!

But, I wonder sometimes if doctors truly understand the sexual process, that's the only word I can think of.

 

[Health Nurse]

Hi all


Everyone has brought up some really good points.

What really shows up for me is that there seems to be a mix of medical and/or psychological (mental/emotional) at play. It also seems that everyone’s situation is different.

Laurel love also brought up a great point about doctors. Many doctors do not have much training to deal with complex sexual health issues and the 10 minute visit does not really allow for dealing with psychological issues.

For complex sexual issues I find the best success comes when you can get a team working for you. For example a doctor to cover medical issues, drug side effects, prescribe Viagra etc… and a sex counselor/therapist to cover areas like relationships, expectations, thinking about things differently etc…

There is a great team at the BC center for sexual medicine. A family doctor can refer you to them but from what I understand there can be a long wait.
http://psychiatry.vch.ca/bccsm.htm

If anyone finds themselves in this situation I would suggest seeing their doctor to discuss the problem and connecting up with a sex counselor if needed.

If you do not have a family doctor it might be good to see a sex counselor first and ask them if they can recommend a doctor.

Remember that if you are not happy with the care from your doctor you can see someone else for a second opinion.

I have added a page to the healthnurse website listing sex counselors and therapist in the major western cities.
http://healthnurse.wordpress.com/fa...0-chatting-with-a-sex-counselor-or-therapist/

HN
www.healthnurse.wordpress.com
www.stiresource.com
www.bccdc.ca

 

[brfraser]

Thought I'd jump in here as well. Have been suffering the same ejaculation problem due to SSRI's ...can masturbate ok if I really really work at it, just not thru oral or intercourse. Was on just citalopram for the first few months. After discussing it with my doctor he added wellburtin in addition to the citalopram. Its been a few months now and masturbating is definitely a lot easier but haven't seen an SP since so can't say how that part works out ...just too much pressure to try to get off on a stop watch ...and embarrassing too. It's probably just the nature of SSRI's but thought it might be an option.

 

[sonoman]

After discussing it with my doctor he added wellburtin in addition to the citalopram.

What is the wellburtin for?

 

[mclovinit]

i can relate...

i had almost exact same experience as you guys have already shared.
i was on antidepressants about 8 years ago and it had the same effect on me: decreased sex drive with difficulty orgasming even with masturbation. but previously and since, i have always had trouble orgasming through intercourse without any kind of medication interfering. and by problem i mean i could not orgasm though intercourse. made me last quite long periods which my gf at the time didn't mind, but eventually it began to frustrate her. i told her at the beginning that i lasted a long time and pretty much never came during intercourse. after a year and a half or so, she began to take it personally. so we made me orgasming more of a focus. we tried different condoms. being uncircumsized as well, and having been single for a long time before that relationship, i wasn't used to wearing a condom at all. but most of our sex was protected, so i had to get used to sex with a condom. also, just getting used to the sensation during intercourse helped me focus more on it and take my mind off of worrying about orgasming (i always had a little worry that my guys might be too good at swimming!lol but that raised my anxiety during sex), and also reducing self service helped too.
anyhoo, in that relationship i learned how to orgasm through intercourse, as i now don't really have much problem. keep working at it, dude. try different things, and try to open yourself up to allowing it to happed. if you're like me, lasting superlong has become a big part of your ego, being the guy who lasts longer than most and focuses more on "giving" rather than receiving because you feel you can't truly receive. but you'll enjoy yourself more when you let that go and really open up to experiment with what truly makes you feel good. you''ll find the right woman and right fit for you, just try different things.

good luck!

 

[Health Nurse]

i had almost exact same experience as you guys have already shared.
i was on antidepressants about 8 years ago and it had the same effect on me: decreased sex drive with difficulty orgasming even with masturbation. but previously and since, i have always had trouble orgasming through intercourse without any kind of medication interfering. and by problem i mean i could not orgasm though intercourse. made me last quite long periods which my gf at the time didn't mind, but eventually it began to frustrate her. i told her at the beginning that i lasted a long time and pretty much never came during intercourse. after a year and a half or so, she began to take it personally. so we made me orgasming more of a focus. we tried different condoms. being uncircumsized as well, and having been single for a long time before that relationship, i wasn't used to wearing a condom at all. but most of our sex was protected, so i had to get used to sex with a condom. also, just getting used to the sensation during intercourse helped me focus more on it and take my mind off of worrying about orgasming (i always had a little worry that my guys might be too good at swimming!lol but that raised my anxiety during sex), and also reducing self service helped too.
anyhoo, in that relationship i learned how to orgasm through intercourse, as i now don't really have much problem. keep working at it, dude. try different things, and try to open yourself up to allowing it to happed. if you're like me, lasting superlong has become a big part of your ego, being the guy who lasts longer than most and focuses more on "giving" rather than receiving because you feel you can't truly receive. but you'll enjoy yourself more when you let that go and really open up to experiment with what truly makes you feel good. you''ll find the right woman and right fit for you, just try different things.

good luck!

Hi mclovinit

You have brought up some good points.

I have met men in the clinic that have felt they had problems with getting erections or delayed ejaculation because of the different sensation with using male condoms.

I have found that some of these men have had good success with trying female condoms, it seems that the sensation is different for the guy. We provide female and male condoms for free at our Vancouver clinics.
http://healthnurse.wordpress.com/faq-about-sexual-health/4-sti-clinic-locations/vancouver/

Here is some additional information on the female condom.
http://www.sexualityandu.ca/teens/contraception-2-8.aspx

Another great point you bring up is about having to perform. Society has put a lot of pressure on men to be the sexual performers. This pressure combined with new or unfamiliar partner can lead to problem with erections and ejaculation. Rather than a positive sexual experience this can create feelings of “being less of a man” if things don't go as planned.

I like what mclovinit has suggested with going with what feels good, concentrating on pleasure for yourself rather than performance. There are many sensations men can feel with sex that don't even result in an erection.

Hooking up with a sexual partner who understands this would be very important. I could see getting yourself into a situation where you have limited time and the persons goal is to get you up, off and out would have the potential to cause more of a problem.

Like everything I think the key here is communication. Being able to communicate what you want from the session and being honest with any problems you may be having.

I am sure there are many SP that have developed expertise when dealing with erection or ejaculation problems.

HN
www.healthnurse.wordpress.com
www.stiresource.com
www.bccdc.ca