Dating an escort

[deathreborn]

Was a victim of this once. Saw a woman at one of the high end establishments. New to the business. I was her second client. Anyways there was a instant connection. Looking back it was probably more because she was still thinking as a regular woman and had not established her escort persona yet and put up the necessary walls. Exchanged personal info. Went out a few times off the clock. Nice woman, a bit to trusting though as she opened up to me very easily. In the end it didn't work out as she's got alot going on in her life. Yesterday was actually her birthday so i thought about her a fair amount. Did something for her from afar that she thought was sweet so at least i know i put a smile on her face, even though we don't see each other anymore.

In my situation I knew she was genuine as we were off the clock, and the personal info that was revealed was of a very trusting nature where i would have the ability to have outed her so to speak. of course she never had to worry about that as one of the first things i said to her when we first exchanged personal info was that no matter how things turned out good or bad that she could trust me never to betray her crossing the line with me, and that anything she chose to reveal would remain in the strictest confidence.

so for the OP, the questions to ask are simple. you've already answered the first one which is spending time together off the clock. has she been revealing personal stuff about herself (family, where she lives, etc.) it doesn't sound like it as you've said you don't even know her real name. that says that you haven't gotten past her escort persona. having her personal cell number means nothing. all she would have to do is put your number on the reject call list.

to get the answer if she likes you genuinely and not for the 20's in your wallet, just simply ask her if she wants to go out for dinner or something as friends off the clock. if she says no, or hmmm's and ha's about it then you know your just $$$$$ to her.
another approach could be to just say to her that you've seen each other for awhile now and you think you're at the point where you would like to call her by her real name. if she balks at the idea or flat out declines you know you're just a client and she has no real trust in you.

from what i can see though this is just another case of a girl with good acting skills and the sense of knowing when she's got an underconfident man on the hook to use to her advantage to pilfer as much money as she can.

 

[Dickson]

Been there done that tukmol. I started just like you some 35+ years ago. Take it from a guy that walked in your shoes and felt like you. This is not a road to walk down. I have seen thousands of SPs over the years. I have "Dated" SPs and felt like you. I have bought cars, a house etc.. for SPs who I thought I fell for and who I thought fell for me.

Understand something now "it is use or be used" in this world. As Vanesssa said it is rare, very rare that it works out. I only saw it once in all my years and they are still together in Japan. But out of thousands. So get it out of your head that she has feelings for you. She might care but she has feelings for your money. They will tell you that they are not interested in the money that they want you but that is the role. Make you feel good. That is why you pay them.

I never had a real GF like you when I was young and I got caught up in this. Never had a real releationship lasting longer that 6 months. (for a number of reasons) I have had a relationship with a SP that lasted 8 years. In the moment it was a blast but looking back now and where I am now not such a good move over the years. It is kinda like getting a tatoo you can never get rid of. You can hide it but is always with you.

For a young guy like you get on a dating site if you want a girl friend not on here in this business. If you want a hot hour or two this is the place to be. Consider this like Disneyland. Nice place to visit but you can not live there. If you try and live there you only have to look at my life as an outcome. If you think you are lonely now wait untill you are in your 50's sitting in a hotel room in Cophenhagen by myself wondering where they years went. No family, friends, no girl friend. But a shit load of memories. Wow what a ride. How many times can you do space mountain.

 

[cakecash]

Hello tantalize,

Not to give details but the encounter was not the typical service she provides.

Well that's another thing I worry about. I am not made of money and eventually the time will come when I won't be able to see her as much anymore and that will be it. I talked to her about this before and she said she understood. She did say one time that she wanted to see me more.

Seems you are getting something extra from her she does not usually provide ? Are you paying extra for this ? If another provider was giving you these extras what would it amount to financially .
Maybe she is giving you more then you are actually paying for hence her reluctance to go any further .

 

[sevenofnine]

i kind of think when you get involved emotionaly with an escort, she has the responsibility or at least should tell you were she stands.

as in not interested, or yeah she is interested,
been there done that like some people have stated,
me and the lady i see, we have always put our cards on the table and i thank her for that.
you pay her to be nice to you, ok,
but i think if she is messing with you in terms of love or friendship, i kindof think its not right,
and reading what you have said i kind of think she is,

like some one said stop paying and see what happens, and you have asked her out several times and she keeps saying we shall see,
i haven't heard her side of it, but she i think should tell you flat out she is not interested in a relationship with you, which it sounds like that is the way it is,
i have been seeing some one for eight years and still am, and emotions are bound to come into it at some point, its not a big deal
it happens, but i think, like i said when this hobby becomes more then a hobby, i think both parties owe it to each other to lay it out,
no im not interested in you or yes i am, if she isn't honest with you run like hell, and honestly from what you have said i think she isn't but only hearing your version of things,

and about shy or not good with girls. i guess been there done that, i think it starts with your self confidence in yourself believe in yourself who you are, no one is perfect but having the ability to laugh at all your follibles and imperfections as opposed to hiding them goes along way.
and to just enjoy life, sunshine a good cup of coffee a beer food friendship women,
don't know what im trying to say, but im older and so much of life is over rated, what is important is the very simple things.

and i look at it this way, im a good person, a fun person, not everyone is going to be my friend that is just life, but its more there loss then mine

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

I've been seeing the same woman for 6 years, at one point I was on her facebook account etc. and we know a hell of a lot about each other. We've even been caught, more than once.

Yet dispite all this, and all the fun we have together, I know what it is for one very simple reason.

Even though we kiss passionately when we're playing together. Out in public, even when she knows no one is watching, she turns her head when i kiss her so i end up kissing her on the cheek. Oh, she also defriended me a couple of years ago which also put things into perspective. So in this type of relationship the illusion can go very deep at times, so deep that sometimes it appears more real then reality.

 

[tukmol]

Seems you are getting something extra from her she does not usually provide ? Are you paying extra for this ?

No, not paying extra.

 

[cakecash]

There we go, so she is giving you a service only reserved for a B. F . if thats the case and you are not paying then Id keep seeing her if those extras have value to you.
Sounds she does care .It is only fair to also put a value to your extras.

 

[Dickson]

No, not paying extra.

but paying?

 

[Popoff]

Not a bad thing a GF only for sex with no extra baggage. The keys are; as long as he can afford it and don't expect any more.

 

[Dgodus]

Even if she cares, even if she likes you, even if she enjoys your time together; it's still a business. Just have fun, enjoy it for what it is, and don't do anything stupid.

Que sera, sera.... Or however the heck you spell it

 

[BrokeBastard]

For a young guy like you get on a dating site if you want a girl friend not on here in this business. If you want a hot hour or two this is the place to be. Consider this like Disneyland. Nice place to visit but you can not live there. If you try and live there you only have to look at my life as an outcome. If you think you are lonely now wait untill you are in your 50's sitting in a hotel room in Cophenhagen by myself wondering where they years went. No family, friends, no girl friend. But a shit load of memories. Wow what a ride. How many times can you do space mountain.

At least you have memories. I know a few guys who are virgins, in their 40's, either never dated or had a longterm relationships, and have no memories of life whatsoever. At least be greatful you lived life and experienced a lot of women. I know you rather have a loving family but at least you HAVE memories. These guys don't, or at least their memories aren't that exciting.

 

[Elmore]

Been there done that only a fantasy

How is dating an escort a fantasy?

These threads kill me. Most of the guys here who are not in committed relationships claim to see escorts because they don't want anything serious. If a person wants a serious relationship, there are plenty of non-escorts to choose from.

 

[Hoops]

At least you have memories. I know a few guys who are virgins, in their 40's, either never dated or had a longterm relationships, and have no memories of life whatsoever. At least be greatful you lived life and experienced a lot of women. I know you rather have a loving family but at least you HAVE memories. These guys don't, or at least their memories aren't that exciting.

How do you know that these guys aren't perb members?

 

[Dgodus]

How is dating an escort a fantasy?

These threads kill me. Most of the guys here who are not in committed relationships claim to see escorts because they don't want anything serious. If a person wants a serious relationship, there are plenty of non-escorts to choose from.

People claim things that aren't true? Shocking! People can be self delusional? Even more shocking!

 

[thebuttdance]

Dickson von Copenhagen's comment is a very sad and true parable; this is a business and a fantasy in the end. I've met some very cool gals but I know when I exit their door, paths diverge. To the beginner of this thread -It's fun for the moment fulfilling the erotic fantasy, but it's the realness in meeting someone special in daily life that will give true and everlasting fulfillment.

I sound like Dr Phil and Oprah now hahaha, but develop into a worthy and proud person personally and I'm sure you'll find that person who will appreciate you for who you are.

Until I have my own cheesy day-time talk show on Fox, I have to say there are some sexy sexy SPs which is why we're here (but it's cool that this forum can be a conference of outlier discussions)

 

[longjohn258]

I did not even get to do the deed. But there was something about N that caught my attention, something beyond the sex and service. So I a few days later I see her again. Same thing.

You have been classified as easy money after this. Don't waste your savings on this because you will regret it one day. Ask yourself these questions: Does it bother you that she's sleeping with other men. Are you willing to tell one of your friends who has paid to fuck her that you love her and accept who she is. What if your family finds out? If you answer no, move on and see other ladies, time and experience will desensitize you, and build up your confidence. If your answer is yes, seek counseling. Good luck.

ps. your topic is dating an escort, but you are not dating her yet. Dating is defined as going out socially with another person out of romantic interest. If you don't know her real name and you pay, it's not a date, but a trade. You are two steps ahead of yourself. The question you should be asking now is: Should I stop paying this escort X and start dating her? Tell her you've used up your savings and ask her out on a date. Then you'll appreciate the advices from the members of the board.

 

[sunkist32]

No family, no girl friend, friends, now thats the life I want!! don't need anyone anyways, only nice clothes , B&W speakers and commercial espresso machines.

 

[sunkist32]

Use her and abuse her. Push her to her limits.

 

[Dickson]

At least you have memories. I know a few guys who are virgins, in their 40's, either never dated or had a longterm relationships, and have no memories of life whatsoever. At least be greatful you lived life and experienced a lot of women. I know you rather have a loving family but at least you HAVE memories. These guys don't, or at least their memories aren't that exciting.

Don't get me wrong I am not complaining. My life is what it is. I made the choices I live with the choices. It reminds me of a quote out of the old movie the Magnificent Seven. When the gun slingers are talking about thier lives.

Chico: Hey. How can you talk like this? Your gun has got you everything you have. Isn't that true? Hmm? Well, isn't that true?
Vin: Yeah, sure. Everything. After awhile you can call bartenders and faro dealers by their first name - maybe two hundred of 'em! Rented rooms you live in - five hundred! Meals you eat in hash houses - a thousand! Home - none! Wife - none! Kids... none! Prospects - zero. Suppose I left anything out?
Chris Adams: Yeah. Places you're tied down to - none. People with a hold on you - none. Men you step aside for - none.
Lee: Insults swallowed - none. Enemies - none.
Chris Adams: No enemies?
Lee: Alive.
Chico: Well. This is the kind of arithmetic I like.
Chris Adams: Yeah. So did I at your age

For our young friend Tukmol at the point he is in his life he needs to see the future clearly. Is that the life he really wants? So many great points raised in this post. In the end it is his choice and no matter what he decides it is only he who has to live with it. He has to be happy with that choice.

As for Elmore you make it sound so easy to to find non-escorts. Just can not go to the local 7-eleven to pick one up. There is a lot of investment of time, energy, effort, emotion, and yes money that has to go into it. I think the last real lady I saw told me it would require at least a year of seeing her before she would consider the bed room. Sorry guys but I don't have that kind of time on my hands. I am not going to make that investment to find out later that the sex was not even that good. I will only stand in line for so long before I move to the next ride. My choice.

But I can still admire what a number of you have or had. Remember we always want what the other guy has. It is human nature. Not saying I do not like what I got. There are moments.

Good luck tukmol with your decision.

 

[LADY-VIA]

Put it this way if I were you I'd get off the clock ASAP, then you'll know exactly where you stand.

extremely good advice !!!!!