Love and marriage is not what it's cracked up to be. It seems all romantic when everyone is horny and making rational decisions like spending the rest of your life with one person then throwing an elaborate party with all your family that pretty much eliminates any opportunity to have second thoughts. Oh, and you're probably making the most important decision of your life (outside of having kids) while drunk as fuck. Kids are often conceived while drunk as fuck as well....a pattern of 2 emerges...
3 or 4 weeks in and it's like having a roommate that doesn't have to knock on the bathroom door and in my case(s), becomes some sort of puppet-master that has an opinion/right to have a say on everything in your life.
"Really, I have to dress and wear my hair how? Lol...oh, you're serious?"
Nice list of people I can no longer associate with, things I can't do "for my own good" and things I have to do "because they're good for me". Then it was all a blur of arguments over wrapping cheese properly, who's the better driver, and costs of shopping vs. golfing.
It was so weird, because my husbands started out as friends. However, they came from very traditional families and marriage meant ownership/obedience in their minds. This is what it meant for their Mom, and this is what it was to mean for me. Patterns are hard to change once they are ingrained.
Control sure the hell isn't a male domain, however. Take my cousin....please. She nags constantly, about everything, to everyone, especially her husband. It never ends. Her favorite hobby is telling people what to wear and then forcing them to change their clothes before she'll go out with them. Everything is a challenge, everything is a struggle, from the route you take to get there to the time you leave.
Unfortunately, people who hunger for control over others will make your life a fucking nightmare if they want to control you. Logic is gone and they are going to test the tensile strength of your anus to it's full capacity in a divorce.
The need for control blinds people who are, IMO, addicted to it. The worst is when kids are caught in this crossfire of revenge,hate,and power. I think using kids to get back at a person is despicable, but addicts can do some pretty despicable things. My cousin isn't a bad person, and neither are a lot of people who I frankly find exhausting.
The point though is it they are exhausting. I don't want to live in a troop of gorillas where I have to beat my chest and posture every so often so the control freaks don't challenge me. I just don't want them around for very long.
I've always been of the "as long as it's not messing with me or my child I don't care" mindset. The only control I want is over myself. Possibly also a trained Raven.
3 or 4 weeks in and it's like having a roommate that doesn't have to knock on the bathroom door and in my case(s), becomes some sort of puppet-master that has an opinion/right to have a say on everything in your life.
"Really, I have to dress and wear my hair how? Lol...oh, you're serious?"
Nice list of people I can no longer associate with, things I can't do "for my own good" and things I have to do "because they're good for me". Then it was all a blur of arguments over wrapping cheese properly, who's the better driver, and costs of shopping vs. golfing.
It was so weird, because my husbands started out as friends. However, they came from very traditional families and marriage meant ownership/obedience in their minds. This is what it meant for their Mom, and this is what it was to mean for me. Patterns are hard to change once they are ingrained.
Control sure the hell isn't a male domain, however. Take my cousin....please. She nags constantly, about everything, to everyone, especially her husband. It never ends. Her favorite hobby is telling people what to wear and then forcing them to change their clothes before she'll go out with them. Everything is a challenge, everything is a struggle, from the route you take to get there to the time you leave.
Unfortunately, people who hunger for control over others will make your life a fucking nightmare if they want to control you. Logic is gone and they are going to test the tensile strength of your anus to it's full capacity in a divorce.
The need for control blinds people who are, IMO, addicted to it. The worst is when kids are caught in this crossfire of revenge,hate,and power. I think using kids to get back at a person is despicable, but addicts can do some pretty despicable things. My cousin isn't a bad person, and neither are a lot of people who I frankly find exhausting.
The point though is it they are exhausting. I don't want to live in a troop of gorillas where I have to beat my chest and posture every so often so the control freaks don't challenge me. I just don't want them around for very long.
I've always been of the "as long as it's not messing with me or my child I don't care" mindset. The only control I want is over myself. Possibly also a trained Raven.
