Being Discreet is a Two Way Street.

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

I am all for being discreet in the ways that matter most. I don't text back if more than an an hour has passed with anything more generic than "sorry I missed your call". I don't save phone numbers under real names & I personalise the info in my Contacts Not in my call ID app. I provide a discreet location for us to play in that is clean & safe. However, twice in the last 6 months, I have been contacted by SOs of former clients of mine by phone! The first one demanded to know how I knew her husband. (Pretty sure I knew him through PERB) I said "Gee I don't know I know a lot of people, but I don't recognize this number, so I can't help you. Sorry." This most recent one though? Sbe knew my name, my number., the date & time he saw me, and how her spouse ranked me, and all the other providers he had seen, on a scale of 1-10* because he had it all written down in his hobby journal...

FFS...if you're keeping a handwritten record, don't leave it lying around! If it's in a data file, encrypt or password protect it! Memories are one thing. Evidence is quite another. I really dislike being cast in the role of Whore of Babylon, so let's remember to keep letting the big head do ALL the thinking, mmmkay?

Love, Erica


*as curious as I was, I didn't ask my score...:twitch:

 

[VanessainVictoria]

I think guys that don't "clean" their phones are just asking for trouble. Saving numbers and not erasing text messages is a sure way to get caught.

 

[clu]

I wonder if a guy unexpectedly comes home with a new sports car, does the wife call up the dealership and chew them out for enticing him with their sexy ads?

 

[204fun]

While I understand that no device or form of technology can be totally immune from a particularly nosy or suspicious spouse it isn't that difficult to make your device almost completely evidence free. Getting a burner or pre-paid device isn't that difficult and immediately decreases your risk level (assuming you don't bring it home with you).

I'm not sure how the idea of leaving around a written journal (whether hand written or digital) could ever be a good idea. I know that having a profile on a site like Perb where you leave reviews of your experiences acts as a sort of journal, but at least that is done in an online forum where there is a level of anonymity as opposed to a document saved on the hard drive of your laptop.

 

[badbadboy]

I recently heard from an SP about a spouse who placed her husband's thumb on the iPhones biometric sensor while he was sleeping. He woke up but it was too late since she had already locked herself in the bathroom with his phone.

The ramifications for both the husband and SP were huge. No need to go into details but it's a reminder that nothing is safe and secure even a phone that is locked.

 

[take8easy]

I apologize for my SO's behavior! She can be a b**ch sometimes. jk.

Honestly, there is really no 100% wifeproofing this hobby. I hhave a hobby phone and it stays at my work. Having a fake email certainly helps.

BUT, recently, I noticed that Chrome remembers my handle on perb!!!!!!!!!!!! So, IF my SO ever comes to know of PERB. All she has to do is type all the alphabets one by one till she hits "T" and take8easy pops up in User name. Then she can very easily create a fake ID herself, log into PERB, and know each and everything take8easy has been doing!!!!!!!!!!

Not trying to freak out you guys out there, but safety, as they say, comes first.

T8E

 

[clu]

BUT, recently, I noticed that Chrome remembers my handle on perb!!!!!!!!!!!! So, IF my SO ever comes to know of PERB. All she has to do is type all the alphabets one by one till she hits "T" and take8easy pops up in User name. Then she can very easily create a fake ID herself, log into PERB, and know each and everything take8easy has been doing!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe she already did and one of us is actually your wife. Seriously:

Settings > Advanced > Passwords and Forms

It'll either be in Auto-fill settings or Manage passwords

Find the entry for perb.cc and select the "..." at the right and choose Remove

Although... one wonders if you're clearing your browser history because perb.cc auto-completing as soon as she types "p" might be a tad more obvious a giveaway.

 

[Amuse0ne]

Sometimes we are saboteurs of our own lives we want to be found out because we are unhappy and do not have the balls to end our un-happy marriages. That said the SP's should not be exposed and discretion must be of the utmost kind. I don't use a burner but my phone is always secured by passcode, cleaned of data and email is webmail used on chrome incognito. Our spouses are very much aware of our habits and inconsistencies when it comes to trying to hide pooning activities.

 

[beaveraddict]

Couple of "noob" questions re: keeping things on the down-low:

1) burner phones... if I have a spare unlocked iPhone (kept in a discreet place) and buy a pay-as-you-go SIM, I assume that is "safe" from SPs being able to identify me? even the 7-11 ones require some sort of registration when you top-up with vouchers (paid in cash), but that doesn't mean people you call can ID you, right?

2) emailing... is there any difference between creating a NSFW gmail account or using one of the extra "blank" addresses most ISPs provide you with free of charge as part of your internet package (ex. "horny_dude@telus, etc.)? I mean, you'd have to be a cop or a private detective to be able to uncover account info, no?

3) browsing... using Incognito mode in Chrome doesn't save history or login info... is it any more complicated than that?

Thanks for any input...

 

[clu]

2) emailing... is there any difference between creating a NSFW gmail account or using one of the extra "blank" addresses most ISPs provide you with free of charge as part of your internet package (ex. "horny_dude@telus, etc.)? I mean, you'd have to be a cop or a private detective to be able to uncover account info, no?

No... sub accounts on a Telus or Shaw account are pretty easy to figure out. Anyone who pays for the account or knows enough to identify as the person who pays the account can get that info. If you sign in for online payment there's a tab that'll show all the sub accounts associated, allow you to reset their passwords, etc. Or if you call customer support and prove your identity (usually not much more than knowing the account number and mailing address) you can ask them to read these things to you, or reset your passwords, etc.

 

[clu]

Oh, and if your SO is tech savvy enough to install a packet sniffer, well, you're fucked.

 

[Ray]

I recently heard from an SP about a spouse who placed her husband's thumb on the iPhones biometric sensor while he was sleeping. He woke up but it was too late since she had already locked herself in the bathroom with his phone.

The ramifications for both the husband and SP were huge. No need to go into details but it's a reminder that nothing is safe and secure even a phone that is locked.

At this point in the relationship, the end is near and one half is looking for an excuse to rationalize the next stage of action.

 

[beaveraddict]

Oh, and if your SO is tech savvy enough to install a packet sniffer, well, you're fucked.

haha... I don't have a clue how to install a packet sniffer and my SO is significantly less tech-savvy (famous last words). Good point about sub-accounts, but customer service shouldn't be resetting passwords for anyone but the account holder, and if the mailboxes are deleted regularly (and trash emptied) then you just have to have a plausible excuse about needing an extra email for downloading vanilla porn LOL
My questions were more about remaining anonymous to SPs as I keep reading threads about "burners" and NSFW emails, so I'm gathering there is a concern about having one's identify revealed and the repercussions of that...???

 

[badbadboy]

At this point in the relationship, the end is near and one half is looking for an excuse to rationalize the next stage of action.

What his Ex did in response to the SP was far more destructive in a very personal way. A wrecking ball.

 

[cktc9]

The part that baffles me is why would an S.O. contact the Provider in the first place?
So she found out about hubby's hobby; thrash him if you must, but why blame the Provider? She didn't initiate...

In my own case, I keep the details behind a password locked pc, buried on a separate encrypted drive, and then use CCleaner on it's strictest settings before shutting down my pc.
Browser does not keep a history, cookies declined, or flushed after every use.
Even still...

 

[clu]

haha... I don't have a clue how to install a packet sniffer and my SO is significantly less tech-savvy (famous last words). Good point about sub-accounts, but customer service shouldn't be resetting passwords for anyone but the account holder, and if the mailboxes are deleted regularly (and trash emptied) then you just have to have a plausible excuse about needing an extra email for downloading vanilla porn LOL
My questions were more about remaining anonymous to SPs as I keep reading threads about "burners" and NSFW emails, so I'm gathering there is a concern about having one's identify revealed and the repercussions of that...???

Oh, I was looking at it from the perspective of keeping it out of reach of your SO, not somebody else discovering your identity. Just that there's a good chance an SO knows enough identifying info to access the details of sub accounts on your home's ISP setup, if she so chooses.

Incidentally I know a case where a guy installed a key logger to gain access to his wife's personal emails. They're divorced now, but because he pissed her off snooping, not because he found anything.

 

[westwoody]

Once one partner starts going to extreme measures to snoop on the other the relationship is doomed.

 

[islander1-1]

Still got it. my "LITTLE BLACK BOOK" from the 70s...My personal directory of Phone addresses and phone numbers. Both first wife and second wife fell for this one. One day at dinner I get the question, "Who is Zelda." on th 3 to last page under XYZ is Zelda - 668-2468... I just say. Ahhhh you been snooping in my private litle black book and fell for the bait. Try the number.. its not in service, just like the name. GOTCHA, she never snooped again, or at least questions me about it.

 

[beaveraddict]

Oh, I was looking at it from the perspective of keeping it out of reach of your SO, not somebody else discovering your identity. Just that there's a good chance an SO knows enough identifying info to access the details of sub accounts on your home's ISP setup, if she so chooses.

Incidentally I know a case where a guy installed a key logger to gain access to his wife's personal emails. They're divorced now, but because he pissed her off snooping, not because he found anything.

Cool... thanks

I'm still not clear about why a "burner" phone is essential... I can see why one would prefer to be anonymous, on the other hand has anyone ever had a problem from an SP figuring out their identity...???

 

[Broukrewe1]

In my household everything is Mac/ Apple. I’m far too busy to set these devices up when they’re purchased, other than my iPhone. My SO does all of it. I just learned a few days ago that she can see every webpage that has been accessed from our laptops and desktop via her iPhone. I had no clue this was even possible. Lucky for me I always use the Brave browser when I’m on home devices.