I had planned to post this before Halloween aka International-Dress-Like-A-Whore Day, as I thought the title made it timely, but I've been busy. 
Boys, attend to the bats in your caves. Please.
1. Nose Goblins
It takes 1 second to do a quick glance in the mirror and just a few seconds to blow your nose. No one wants to make out with you if you might slime her cheek!
2. Navel Ogres
It's hard to gobble cock enthusiastically, when going cross-eyed staring at that gnarly black knot of hardened goo that you hoard in your navel like pirate treasure. Gentlemen, get your flashlights and do a little spelunking and ogre hunting.
3. Trolls under the bridge
We offer you the use of our shower facilities, off the clock or accompanied and you decline, insisting that you JUST had one. Yet when naked on our beds, we find ourselves gagging over the sewer like aroma wafting up for your hindquarters. OR! Better yet, you leave an artistic contributions to the minimalist canvases that we call our sheets (it's not like you score bonus points for not going Jackson Pollock on said sheets....sorry lost the halloween theme there).
Please incorporate a good ol' "soapy finger" into your pre-visit or post-arrival shower routine.
Thank you
We totally understand that things happen, we're all human. We try to ignore these things and never make you feel bad about them if they occur, but please, if you want the best possible session, please, please please, take a moment in our washrooms to take care of you bodily hobgoblins and creepy critters.
None of these items I have listed are pointed at any specific gentlemen. I posted them here because they happen often enough that they warrant mention in a public forum.
Boys, attend to the bats in your caves. Please.
1. Nose Goblins
It takes 1 second to do a quick glance in the mirror and just a few seconds to blow your nose. No one wants to make out with you if you might slime her cheek!
2. Navel Ogres
It's hard to gobble cock enthusiastically, when going cross-eyed staring at that gnarly black knot of hardened goo that you hoard in your navel like pirate treasure. Gentlemen, get your flashlights and do a little spelunking and ogre hunting.
3. Trolls under the bridge
We offer you the use of our shower facilities, off the clock or accompanied and you decline, insisting that you JUST had one. Yet when naked on our beds, we find ourselves gagging over the sewer like aroma wafting up for your hindquarters. OR! Better yet, you leave an artistic contributions to the minimalist canvases that we call our sheets (it's not like you score bonus points for not going Jackson Pollock on said sheets....sorry lost the halloween theme there).
Please incorporate a good ol' "soapy finger" into your pre-visit or post-arrival shower routine.
Thank you
We totally understand that things happen, we're all human. We try to ignore these things and never make you feel bad about them if they occur, but please, if you want the best possible session, please, please please, take a moment in our washrooms to take care of you bodily hobgoblins and creepy critters.
None of these items I have listed are pointed at any specific gentlemen. I posted them here because they happen often enough that they warrant mention in a public forum.
