Are we F***ing cheating Hippocrates?

[maxx50]

Here are a few questions .. I am wanting to start up with a new girl friend .. i have known her in the past as a friend that i helped out . But at that time she was in a relationship .. and she wast supporting him by being a part time st riper .. and massage person .. nothing sexual..
I always was attracted to her .. but did my best to respect that she had some one she loved .. even those it was not going well ..and she wanted out.
Well fast forward 2 1/2 years.. and she contacts me again.. she since has dumped that guy .. and another guy.. and is quite happy in her anger .. to ward guys that use and cheat on her.
I have told her about my failed relationship . and just generally what has happened in the last few years .. but not about seeing escorts . for sex and companion ship.
Here is one question .. Should i be open with her and just tell her that i have my fav. girl that i have seen for sex and fun . and that i may still see them . because we have a connection .and I love to be with them ( even though i know it will not be a sexual relationship) and expect her to be ok with that
What would you ladies expect from your boy friends .. that they only be with you .. and not see any of there old escort friends ?
Here is the hypocrite part .. AS escorts .. most of the girls .. see clients that are either married .. or may have a girl friend . That seems to be OK with you .. but what if the tables were turned?
Should i even tell a girl friend that I have seen escorts.. even though i know they would feel I was lying about some thing. and that in it's self would make them miss trust me ..
I know it was a problem with my ex girl friend . and we had meet when she was escorting .

 

[Randy Whorewald]

Maxx - if your relationship lasts any longer than two weeks she'll find out anyways. So you might as well come clean about it up front.

 

[athaire]

If she means anything to you at all you should be up front with her. You may or may not ruin your chances with the girl but that is better than leading her down a path that could later ultimately hurt her. If your asking this question you already think that she will become upset right?
Honesty is the best policy in every situation.......in my opinion.

 

[maxx50]

Yes I know you are both right about that one. I guess if she can.t take the truth she won't be interested any ways . I allway for get that . because i don't wan to scar them off .Thanks

 

[luv-em-n-lv-em]

Hippocrates wrote a famous oath which is probably best known for saying "do no harm". So maybe that is something to think about when pondering your questions.

I find it humorous that you have apparently confused Hippocrates and hypocrites, yet somehow you have Hippocrates in caps like it should be.

or are you actually playing dumb and having a good laugh at our expense

 

[deke]

No no no!
Don't tell her about your past with escorts. If she wants to get involved, why don't you try and stop seeing escorts for a while. If she makes you happy, you may not need this place anymore. If not, there is a SP or 2 willing to take your money.
I say give it a shot!

 

[The Lizard King]

1) You cannot be totally honest with a woman and expect to a have a good relationship. It just ain't gonna happen. BUT.......there is one thing you can absolutely not lie about and this is it.

2) You do have to be honest with yourself. In my opinion, and perhaps yours, cheating is bad. I never at any time cheated on a GF....just couldn't do it..and if it bothers you, don't do it if you decide to move forward.

3) She's been through 2 guys in the last couple years or so, supported a deadbeat by stripping, and holds "man-anger" from who knows what other bad experiences she's had in her life. This does not bode well for you so do you really want to give up a lady's company you really enjoy for THAT? Man-hating bitches are a dime a dozen.

4) Escorts probably HATE and don't trust guys partly as a result of the fact "committed" guys are paying to see them. In their eyes, that doesn't say much for guys, does it? It's hypocritical that they criticize and hate guys for that behaviour and then profit from and contribute to it but what do you expect?

5) Your ex was a working girl, you continue to see them, and you think you're attracted to this ex-stripper. No matter how much input you may get, the real answer is to move onto another segment of society to find women for a relationship or you're doomed.

 

[A.U.D.R.E.Y]

My 2 cents.

If you care for this woman & you want to give the relationship a real try then
a) tell her IF you plan to continue seeing sp's. She should be given the choice to either get involved or not.

You already know that she's angry/hurt because of past boyfriends cheating on her & in essence, you would just be continuing her cycle of pain/anger.

b) if you won't be seeing sp's while the 2 of you are dating then I think its up to you, wether you tell her or not about your past hobby.

But do take into consideration that if you don't tell her & she finds out, there's no guarantee she'll view it as "what's in the past, is in the past".

People get very bent out of shape (and rightly so) when they find out they've been lied to.

All the best with this Maxx

 

[The Lizard King]

On second thought.....MAXX, AVOID THIS WOMAN LIKE THE FUCKING PLAGUE...SHE'S A TRAIN WRECK AND WILL HOLD EVERYTHING YOU TELL HER, AND EVERYTHING ANY GUY HAS EVER DONE TO HER, AGAINST YOU!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!

 

[miss meiko]

Congratulation for being in love again!! I remember our conversation about this person...give it a try. No, no need to say anything about seeing escorts or other stupid things in the past.

You can easily win her heart with your wonderful talent in music...play your piano and sing beautiful songs for her. There is no guarantee in life...just give your best shot!!. Enjoy your new journey!!!

 

[ms.belair]

Ouch

You cannot be totally honest with a woman and expect to a have a good relationship. It just ain't gonna happen.

Why do you feel it is necessary to lie in order to have a "good relationship"?

Are you inferring that women who are strippers or escorts can never have a "good relationship" while they are in the business? You didn't really mean this did you? Lying to us may result in cognitive dissonance.
Don't do it.

 

[Thais]

I am a firm believer in communication and reasonable honesty.
Yes, one would still have white lies and some things they'd rather keep hidden, but I do believe that it is possible for two intelligent people who are capable of recognizing and managing their emotions to come fairly close to total honesty.
Of course, if the emotional intelligence (EQ) isn't there, it probably won't work...

Anyway, I am a believer in non-monogamy. I don't hold cheating against men, and if I were in a relationship, I would make it clear from the onset that understand occasional desire to pursue other women. Occasional being the key word.
And as long as I'd feel safe, happy, and valued in our primary relationship, I wouldn't mind if my man visited escorts or had other flings.

I would, however, demand a similar privilege for myself. Every once in a while I meet somebody I have a brief interest in, but it never lasts. I would prefer to have an oportunity tp satisfy and discard those occasional passions instead of feeling frustration and wonder at unfulfilled fantasy.

I know a couple who live by those rules, they have been together 6 years and are going strong.

But, as I said in the very beginning, high EQ on both sides is an absolute must for an arrangement like this.

 

[The Lizard King]

Why do you feel it is necessary to lie in order to have a "good relationship"?

Cats and dogs.....the vast majority of guys have experienced being in shit for something and not knowing why. It just happens that way. For a guy, the best way to protect yourself from conflict is to "deceive" her.

So when you hear " I was out looking at cars etc"...it really means "I was out at the titty bar with my buds".
When you hear "I really had a great time at that movie you wanted to see tonight"...it really means "if I see another chick movie any time soon, I'm going to put a bullet through my fucking head".
When you hear "no, I don't mind having your single friends around"...it really means "oh my fucking God, these man-hating bitches are gonna poison our relationship and get me in shit for something I didn't even do".
When you hear "good girl...you're incredible...this is turning me on" as/while/after he's eating your snatch...he really means "you could have at least showered after work, you're beaver almost made me puke".
When you ask "what are we doing tonight?"...he really wants to say "I want to watch the fucking hockey game!" but won't because he doesn't want to get in shit.
When you ask "you never tell me about your day, how was it?"...he really wants to say "I LIVED it and it was fucked" but won't because he doesn't want to get in shit.
When you say "we never communicate"...he'll really can't respond because there's virtually no response that won't get him in shit.

So there you go. GUYS have to lie about everything BUT cheating, we're left with no choice.

Are you inferring that women who are strippers or escorts can never have a "good relationship" while they are in the business? You didn't really mean this did you?

Nope...I meant that in all likelihood THIS girl is a train wreck and given his own recent history, he should try fishing in a different pool.

Lying to us may result in cognitive dissonance.

..and not lying will result in conflict, being in shit, and if you're married or/and have children together, it will cost you over half of what you own regardless of when you acquired it.

 

[sdw]

Why do you feel it is necessary to lie in order to have a "good relationship"?

Are you inferring that women who are strippers or escorts can never have a "good relationship" while they are in the business? You didn't really mean this did you? Lying to us may result in cognitive dissonance.
Don't do it.

Is there one man on this earth that doesn't know the right answer to "does this make me look fat" is "sorry dear I've just got to make a quick trip to the store"?

Men who don't practice deafness have to answer these questions that don't have an answer that isn't wrong.

Of course we lie, you make life too miserable if we don't.

"There's nothing wrong" means there is something wrong, but a guy is never going to guess what it is, trying just means deeper shit.

"We never talk" means she wants something and you better listen until she tells you what it is.

 

[wannabeslut]

Hippocrates was an ancient greek doctor...

But anyway, I think you should be upfront. I would never have a relationship full of lies. Isn't the whole point of being in a relationship that you're sharing yourself with another person, sharing your lives and thoughts and feelings?

If not, why bother? Just continue to see escorts for sex and company.

 

[Mr.O]

Wow!!

Why do you feel it is necessary to lie in order to have a "good relationship"?

Are you inferring that women who are strippers or escorts can never have a "good relationship" while they are in the business? You didn't really mean this did you? Lying to us may result in cognitive dissonance.
Don't do it.

You really made me think with that last sentence!

That's OK though I merely referenced my litany of Thesaurus & Dictionaries which provided ample definition for the intended promulgation.

So, as I deliberated upon your statement, I stipulate that you are in essence telling Lizard King that by NOT telling the truth he may cause the heretofore mentioned "us" hereafter understood to mean Women in a ecumenical sense considering or dealing with overall characteristics, universal aspects, or important elements of said women & thus inferring "us" to mean Women as a whole with respect to the whole class as referred to by others in a commonly known descriptive term.

You therefore propose that mendacious prevarication could in fact cause a state of cacophony or cerebral incongruity, to which one can thereby conclude said women as inferred by stated "us" would be in a mental quandary, with a possible reaction to such condition, that may manifest itself in a manner misunderstood by 'them' hereafter understood to mean Men in a ecumenical sense considering or dealing with overall characteristics, universal aspects, or important elements of said Men & thus inferring 'them' or 'they' to mean Men as a whole with respect to the whole class as referred to by others in a commonly known descriptive term.

Therefore, to surmise, women may in fact, due to the beguiling & insidious actions of men, be observed to manifest behaviour incongruous with commonly accepted rational behaviour coetaneous with the degradation of relations between afore mentioned "us" & 'them'.

?

??

???

I must say Ms. Belair... YOU... are DEEP!

Would love to swim in your ocean sometime!

However, that being said, I would offer this friendly exhortation, or, as some of my colleagues would say; "kibitz".

When promulgating your esoteric cogitations & articulating your superficial, amicable & philosophical observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity .
Let you extemporaneous decantation & un-promulgated expectations have intelligibility without rotundity or bombast.

 

[ms.belair]

Of course...

Of course we lie, you make life too miserable if we don't.

I think you're wrong.

I imagine you are unhappy, or at best, resigned about this situation. I don't think it is inevitable that a good relationship requires lying to your partner. That's bullshit and you know it too.

 

[The Lizard King]

I don't think it is inevitable that a good relationship requires lying to your partner.

Well little missy, of course you don't, you're a woman.

 

[miss meiko]

Oh pleasssssssssssseee give me a break! Everybody lies, even to ourselves. This note is for ms.belair.

 

[ms.belair]

Lies of omission maybe...

Oh pleasssssssssssseee give me a break! Everybody lies, even to ourselves.

I see a slippery slope coming up, and I'm a lousy skier.