A Little advice/suggestions for SP's

Ironhead

Boobman
Sep 26, 2002
763
0
0
64
vancouver
1. If you have a roommate or S/O Or even a f%^K buddy. They must NOT be there when the client arrives for an appointment. I for one don't think this is good form. Some clients are married and want to keep things quite. It spoils the whole mood. Unless it is requested, you should be the only one there.
if it is last minute, we can wait a few minutes until whomever leaves.

2. Do not be stoned or drunk during our appointment unless the client has requested it or you have some to offer us. It can be a real downer to be met with someone who can barely stand up. Also, if you are just going to lay there on your bed and not do anything it ruins the whole thing.

3. Let us talk with you and join in the conversation. I have had girls who cannot stop chatting about themselves. they chat throughout the whole appointment non-stop about thier money,thier boyfriend or the future life they plan to live. Sometimes I want to say something as well. It is part of the interaction. Don't be always answering your phone when it rings,it wrecks the atmosphere. That is why you have voice mail and answering machines.

4. Please clean your place a bit before clients arrive. At least hide it somewhere we won't see it. I do when you come to my place for an outcall.
This also applies to you yourself. Be clean, wear clean clothes and try to smell nice. Try not to chew gum the whole time. Also be on time. It applies to you as well as us pooners.
Just show a little class.

5. Smile and have fun. I really don't want to know about everything wrong in your life. etc family, boyfriends. Yes, life can be a downer sometimes,but pooning is kind of a fanasty for some guys. Understand.

6. You can discuss the donation with us before/during the appointment. more often than not girls don't say a thing to me about the donation and sometimes I go away not sure if it was enough.

7. If we do become regulars. Do we have any special arrangements, in terms of getting times and days. i.e. priority. How about breaks on the donation.

8. If I do give you my cell number it means that you can chat anytime within reason. I think we have connected in someway. Also it helps in arranging appointments in the future.'

9. Most important!!!!!! Make sure you have condoms. Not having them kind of spoils the whole deal. You have had lots of time to pick some up at the corner store before we come to you. Unless you want to do everything bareback!!!!

Note: All of this is my own opinion. I am not speaking for any other pooners.
I just thought it should be said. I have had very few bad experiences pooning. Just some strange stuff that happens once and a while.


All I am looking for is a good fun time with lots of sex. I want it to be a great time for each of us.

Any other suggestions?????
 

georgebushmoron

jus call me MR. President
Mar 25, 2003
3,126
2
0
56
Seattle
My suggestions:

Be honest. The rest is not that important.
 

TotallyTouchin

TOTALLY TOUCHABLE
Oct 22, 2005
600
3
0
44
Vancouver
Wow!

Actually kind of a funny read for me! WHAT GIRL IN ANY state of mind is stoned/drunk/loaded with a boyfriend in a messy place talking about her future plans and then forgets to have condoms while needing to be reminded to be smelling decent:D :confused: :D

I mean I feel SORRY that my Ironhead felt he even NEEDED to SAY these no brainers to sps!!! LOL!

The standing up straight part had me laughing though babe! I can just picture you proping up a girl with her icky boyfriend in the corner as she babbles about life to you LOL.

It's a sad sad day for sps when a client as sweet and gentle as Ironhead has to outline such obvious things. I hope whomever was the catalyst for this post takes a much needed "summer vacation" from work.:rolleyes:

Sorry to hear you EVER had to deal with that stuff baby luv! Holy Crap!....but it did make me laugh though....it's like " HO by numbers"...1) be able to stand up LOL!:D ( NOW COME ON LADIES....that one should be obvious) 2) HAVE CONDOMS....like do we REALLY need to be reminded of this gurlies???? DAMN! I feel bad for the girl who needs to have to read a post like this to get her stuff together! LOL!

Happy Summer Ironhead...good to read your posts!:)
 

kman32

New member
Jul 4, 2007
108
0
0
I had a SP ask me to bring condoms once.

There I was standing in the condom isle wondering what the protocols was. Do I get just enough for me or be a really nice guy and get the econobox of 250 at my local Costco.
 

belair

New member
Apr 6, 2007
231
0
0
econobox of condoms? Only at Costco!

I had a SP ask me to bring condoms once.

There I was standing in the condom isle wondering what the protocols was. Do I get just enough for me or be a really nice guy and get the econobox of 250 at my local Costco.
tough one eh?
 

Naughty Nadia

Banned
Feb 13, 2007
67
0
0
LOL if a girl needs to be told these common sense guidelines, they are in the wrong business and I doubt they'd listen anyways. :)
 

kman32

New member
Jul 4, 2007
108
0
0
tough one eh?
yup, I went with the small pack. If I bought 250 I would have to stay until they were all gone. It's just the principal of the thing.

Even though a Costco visit is always interesting. What other store can you buy a box of 250 condoms, a giant wheel of cheese and a canoe all within 4 isles of each other.
 

belair

New member
Apr 6, 2007
231
0
0
jes sayin'

It's ironic, but the "principle of the thing" can get you into more trouble than you might imagine. Get ready...
 

87112

Banned
Dec 13, 2004
3,689
672
113
*&^%
5. Smile and have fun. I really don't want to know about everything wrong in your life. etc family, boyfriends. Yes, life can be a downer sometimes,but pooning is kind of a fanasty for some guys. Understand.


^^^^^ that is the most important thing. We go to escape this rat race for a bit.
 

Avery

Gentleman Horndog
Jul 7, 2003
4,782
19
38
Winnipeg
6. You can discuss the donation with us before/during the appointment. more often than not girls don't say a thing to me about the donation and sometimes I go away not sure if it was enough.
Before only, please. I want to be absolutely clear beforehand how much I'm going to be paying. It avoids embarrassing situations. I don't like discussing finances at all when we're together. It makes no difference to me whether I pay up front or afterward; I just don't want to discuss it.

9. Most important!!!!!! Make sure you have condoms. Not having them kind of spoils the whole deal. You have had lots of time to pick some up at the corner store before we come to you. Unless you want to do everything bareback!!!!
A couple of years ago, I had an appointment with a Winnipeg incall lady. When I called to confirm, she told me she was out of condoms and didn't have a car. She asked me to pick up a dozen, and deduct the cost from her fee. She didn't ask me to buy 250 at Costco, though. In that case, she'd probably have owed me money! :D
 

totravel

New member
May 21, 2004
783
0
0
I had a SP ask me to bring condoms once.
As did I. (When I made the confirmation call before going to her incall.) She also asked me to get lube.
Knowing the bewildering array of both products available (even at a place like London Drugs) I asked for specific brand and description she wanted before heading out.
It was Lifestyles large size and Astroglide. When I got there, I found there were a few different choices available within those parameters. Astroglide is now in 2 types (lotion and gel, I think) as well as different pack sizes. Lifestyles are ribbed, lubed, nonlubed and variations of all three.
It was a great session (my 15th with her). Buying the items we used lent a strange domesticity to it. I also found that even though I'm not larger than average lengthwise, the "large" size were more comfortable than "regular" due to being wider, less painfully tight when she rolled it on me.
 

TotallyTouchin

TOTALLY TOUCHABLE
Oct 22, 2005
600
3
0
44
Vancouver
Which reminds me...

Ironhead....did I ever pay you back for those sheets I asked you to buy????:D :D :D ....oh and thanks again for going to PetCetra for my pooches...I hate dragging home dog food:D :D :D !

The "being able to STAND" part though still gets me. Kinda like a pre-requisite for life one would imagine LOL! :p
 

sarahpassion

The passionate one!
Dec 7, 2006
151
1
0
Oh my god, why wouldn't you just walk away!

Most of your points should be no brainers, but I know many girls who always have a Girlfriend hanging out for their safety, she would be in another room and you shouldn't have to see or hear her.

Now which one of us (sp's) is gonna start an advice list for pooners. I'm sure many of you guys wouldn't believe what some guys try to pull.
 

georgebushmoron

jus call me MR. President
Mar 25, 2003
3,126
2
0
56
Seattle
Now which one of us (sp's) is gonna start an advice list for pooners. I'm sure many of you guys wouldn't believe what some guys try to pull.
Let's hear it! Fair is fair.
 

Miss*Bijou

Sexy Troublemaker
Nov 9, 2006
3,132
44
48
Montréal
I, promise that all my blow up boyz will be put away or at least tuck under the bed.

I still have almost a full bottle 40% alcohol unicum Zwack in my cabinet.
We can just finish it right from the bottle in European way.

If you have duct tape, I don't mind if you bring yours alone and tape up my mounth, I am almost running out of mine as clients do need to use it on me for some different reasons, I am a little sumbissive you know.

I will make sure if I wear something from Value village I stop at a drop in laundrymat and wash the cloths, just for you. Or, maybe before I buy it I do a smell test with the brothers in the store.

I have been told I smile like Mona Lisa and I am not a drama queen, I am perfect, you perfect, my life is perfect after the bottle of unicum.

Ok, one bottle of unicum before app and another one after.

As long as you keep supply the Unicum, I will be your best friend and we can make it more official in font of a notary.

Sometimes I have really bad nightmares, like huge bugs are after me and I am a little person and they all want to eat me up. So, then ....I always reach for my phone and call up my daddy. Can we play that 4 am you are my big daddy and protects me from the bugs. They must put something in those unicum bottles. Aweful!

Ahhhh dahrlin'......of course I always have, but they called something like finger condoms.
Don't worry, don't worry....they are stretchable.



Note: All of this is my own opinion. I am not speaking for any other girls.
I just thought it should be said. I have had very few bad experiences. Just some STRANGE stuff that happens once and a while. :D :D :D




ROFLMAO

YOu're freakin' HILARIOUS!!!
That's the funniest sh*t I've read here in a loooong time.


Thanks!
:cool:
 

SGTSLEUTH

Banned
Jun 22, 2007
77
0
0
I, promise that all my blow up boyz will be put away or at least tuck under the bed.




I still have almost a full bottle 40% alcohol unicum Zwack in my cabinet.
We can just finish it right from the bottle in European way.




If you have duct tape, I don't mind if you bring yours alone and tape up my mounth, I am almost running out of mine as clients do need to use it on me for some different reasons, I am a little sumbissive you know.





I will make sure if I wear something from Value village I stop at a drop in laundrymat and wash the cloths, just for you. Or, maybe before I buy it I do a smell test with the brothers in the store.





I have been told I smile like Mona Lisa and I am not a drama queen, I am perfect, you perfect, my life is perfect after the bottle of unicum.




Ok, one bottle of unicum before app and another one after.




As long as you keep supply the Unicum, I will be your best friend and we can make it more official in font of a notary.





Sometimes I have really bad nightmares, like huge bugs are after me and I am a little person and they all want to eat me up. So, then ....I always reach for my phone and call up my daddy. Can we play that 4 am you are my big daddy and protects me from the bugs. They must put something in those unicum bottles. Aweful!




Ahhhh dahrlin'......of course I always have, but they called something like finger condoms.
Don't worry, don't worry....they are stretchable.



Note: All of this is my own opinion. I am not speaking for any other girls.
I just thought it should be said. I have had very few bad experiences. Just some STRANGE stuff that happens once and a while. :D :D :D
Great Stuff Zzabina!:D
 

Very Veronica

Banned
Aug 2, 2004
1,766
7
0
Vancouver
I'm sure many of you guys wouldn't believe what some guys try to pull.
De-flea the cat. I rarely visit clients homes for safety reasons, never imagined i'd have to deal with a bug infestation.

Client's apartment was in a very affluent area but the building was downtown eastside welfare hotel. Great. And i'm wearing a treasured vintage silk dress for this? I nervously perched on the tattered sofa while fluffy mounded its hairy smelliness against my thigh. My skin was crawling a bit with the whole sketchy trailer scene & cat hair but when a little bloodsucking cootie did a slo-mo hi-jump onto my bare leg it was time to fast forward with eyes closed. Finished the date like a trooper on crack & got the hell out of dodgy feelin like i'd just been exposed to sars. Thankfully all his parasitic pets stayed with him. Whew.
 

Creole Lady Marmalade

No more reviews, please.
Dec 20, 2004
1,463
2
0
Ironhead

I'm not certain if you've reviewed all the ladies you've seen over the course of your membership. If you have then of all the pointers you've made, one has yet to be noted in your reviews.
Which leads me to think that you are probably getting some subtle hints that the SP doesn't want to see you anymore and has yet to find a way to tell you. It also appears that your pointers aren't a culmination of experiences with a few SPs, if they were we'd probably read about it from you, but with one SP.

Based on your reviews, you are a loyal pooner. You find something you like a lot and will stick to it until they are no longer available. But you also turn sour when something isn't reciprocated or falls short of your high expectations...

YMMV and it goes both ways
 
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Ironhead

Boobman
Sep 26, 2002
763
0
0
64
vancouver
To CLM????

I just made some general ideas!!! They are not aimed at anyone single person.

If I want to do that I will write a review.

A lot of pooners do not write reviews every time they see a girl.

Do not jump to conclusions please.

I have been very loyal to a certain Sp in here, she knows it.
That is really none of your business CLM.
Stop trying to dig up something where there is nothing to dig up.

This was all in fun. I meant no harm to no one. Don't get your undies in a bunch.

If this Sp wants to blow me off because of this, That is between her and me.
 
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Ashley Madison
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