asking out a girl!

Violet · Feb 23, 2009

HubbaHubba said:
Nervous and slurring, that should be a big hit

I said A drink, not ten!

Us women also get afraid of rejection, even myself as an SP that many men are willing to pay large sums of money to just to have the priviledge of having sex with. For example, I was very interested in a man I had gotten to know fairly well over the course of about a month or 2, & he seemed interested in me, but I could never get up the courage to do anything about it, for 2 reasons. One being, as another lady mentioned, sometimes it is hard for us to tell if a man is flirting because he really likes us or is simply boosting his ego. The second reason was that I knew I could become friends with him, but I was afraid that asking him out or coming onto him might jeopardize that or make things awkward. I decided I'd rather be friends with him than nothing. But in your situation you don't have anything to lose, so say go for it!

87112 · Feb 23, 2009

Us pooners reject women all the time, each time we ask to see the lineup and pass one up it rejection isnt it? So mysteryman, why cant your skin to as thick as those ladies in the parlors that walk in front of us to be chosen. Myself, I couldnt deal with it but just a thought.

magicmystery · Feb 23, 2009

honda761 said:
Us pooners reject women all the time, each time we ask to see the lineup and pass one up it rejection isnt it? So mysteryman, why cant your skin to as thick as those ladies in the parlors that walk in front of us to be chosen. Myself, I couldnt deal with it but just a thought.

As I said, it's less about rejection more about being able to say it. I can take rejection (not asking her out puts me in the same situation as getting rejected would -- that is, not being with her. In this way, I've already been taking rejection). The problem is I start to feel stammer-ish (before sperminator asks about what kind of word it is, I agree it may not be a dictionary word, I just made it up but it seems simple enough to understand).

So, yeah, I've been upset about this too -- why can't I speak two sentences to her without stammering, shaking or being nervous?

Violet · Feb 23, 2009

Hey Spermie, did you see my kitten donair pic? LOL

magicmystery · Feb 23, 2009

imrokhaard said:
...AND GO BACK TO YOGA CLASS!!!!

come on, dude, I did go to her. Didn't I? Admittedly, I went with only one-ball. But I am trying to nurse the other one and hoping I'll grow the whole pair soon. Let me keep my penis for a bit longer.

87112 · Feb 23, 2009

This has worked for me in the past. A long time ago I was in the same shoes as you, couldnt put 3 words together in front of the one I coveted. What got me over the hump was a painkiller

No joke, the first time I took a Vicodin ( Spell, the one Brett Favre got addicted to) and its gave me a rush and a high that allowed me to speak freely to her. So maybe try that.

magicmystery · Feb 23, 2009

Hmm...
Can I just call and talk on the phone?
I think I can talk without stammering. Other signs of nervousness won't be visible over the phone.

87112 · Feb 23, 2009

magicmystery said:
Hmm...
Can I just call and talk on the phone?
I think I can talk without stammering. Other signs of nervousness won't be visible over the phone.

its beyond hope now.

Violet · Feb 23, 2009

Phone is better than nothing...

87112 · Feb 23, 2009

No, if she has a vibe that you want to chase her by email or phoneit will show you dont have what it takes to be with her if that is your first moves. I know there is a formal, quiet, Chinese woman I'm chasing at work and she killing me too. I thought long and hard about email and being set up but that will show weakness right off the bat.

dipitydoo · Feb 24, 2009

Boo!

hey man just go back there and say: "hi! would you like to go out for a drink tonight?"

It really is that easy.

I bet you 50$ that you can't just do it like that... you'll make up another lame excuse. Think about it, what do you have to lose?

She's nowhere near being interested in you, so why are you scared? be scared of loosing someone that loves you, but please, someone you're infatuated? give yourself a break, you can't lose her because you don't even have her!

Be realistic man!

nd1 · Feb 24, 2009

Densha Otoko 電車男

This thread reminds me of the Japanese TV/movie melodrama Densha Otoko.

C'mon, go ask her out already!

leelee · Feb 24, 2009

Hey guys, back off a bit...

Mystery man...

I think that it is great that you are even trying to go after a girl that you like. It is a very good start and, as many men have already pointed out, it will get easier over time.

I just thought that I would chime in about what she is thinking...

Because of the flowers and the nervous stammering the girl now knows 100% that you have a serious crush on her. Therefore, when you see her again she will automatically give her "answer" to that knowledge through her behaviour.

The girl will either (1) treat you professionally, which means that she is not interested - therefore do not ask her out as she will only say no; or, (2) she will smile warmly - which means that she wants you to ask her out and that she will say yes.

My advice is just to drop by with the new cheque - do not make her call you for it..that is just too desperate.

As mentioned above, when you are there just watch her reactions. Ultimately, with the flowers and stammering you have put the "ball in her court". Just sit back and see how she plays it.

Good luck...I hope that it works for you.

MrPeterNorth · Feb 24, 2009

I don't know who's more pathetic... MagicMysteryMan for not being able to complete a simple life task, or Sperminator for wasting half a threads bandwidth belittling MMM or rambling on about how great donair's taste. Like seriously, I respect your knowledge about clothing - but lay off the donair shit eh?

HB40 · Feb 24, 2009

HubbaHubba said:
Why, it's his thread... you bore the hell out of us all the time in yours

MrPeterNorth said:
I don't know who's more pathetic... MagicMysteryMan for not being able to complete a simple life task, or Sperminator for wasting half a threads bandwidth belittling MMM or rambling on about how great donair's taste. Like seriously, I respect your knowledge about clothing - but lay off the donair shit eh?

Spermie is definately more pathetic, MMM you don't want to take advice from a guy who obviously has little understanding of the female psyche, and you definately don't want to talk to this girl with donair breath.

I am like you MMM, very nervous around pretty girls. Not as bad anymore because I've gained alot of confidence over the years seeing SP's but still can break into cold sweats and stutter. This can actually be used to your advantage, guys can come across incredibly sweet and harmless and personally I think a woman will respond just as positively as to the guys with all the confidence and cockiness of the bad boys. I think you are already well over half way to winning this girls heart, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if SHE asks you out the next time you see her. If you like her don't stop trying, unless it becomes obvious she has no interest. But please keep us informed, I love a good courting story.

Banger77 · Feb 24, 2009

Violet said:
But in your situation you don't have anything to lose, so say go for it!

leelee said:
Mystery man...

I think that it is great that you are even trying to go after a girl that you like. It is a very good start and, as many men have already pointed out, it will get easier over time.

I just thought that I would chime in about what she is thinking...

Because of the flowers and the nervous stammering the girl now knows 100% that you have a serious crush on her. Therefore, when you see her again she will automatically give her "answer" to that knowledge through her behaviour.

The girl will either (1) treat you professionally, which means that she is not interested - therefore do not ask her out as she will only say no; or, (2) she will smile warmly - which means that she wants you to ask her out and that she will say yes.

My advice is just to drop by with the new cheque - do not make her call you for it..that is just too desperate.

As mentioned above, when you are there just watch her reactions. Ultimately, with the flowers and stammering you have put the "ball in her court". Just sit back and see how she plays it.

Good luck...I hope that it works for you.

Totally agree with these quotes. Something else Violet said about developing a rapport first but, you've past that point. SO MM, you have nothing to lose now. GO FOR IT!

LightBearer · Feb 24, 2009

sperminator said:
136 responses to this thread over a six day period and magicmysteryman hasn't mustered up enough balls to ask the girl out for a lousy cup of coffee yet.

And still no responses from the female members of perb. No giving away any secrets ladies.

Validator · Feb 24, 2009

As much as I don't want to, I have to agree with Kal-el on his points. I don't want to agree with him, because, ideally I would like to think that there are many girls that would go for the "nice/shy/gentleman" - of course there are many girls that do, but they are more the exception than the rule. I've been on the shy guy/gentleman fence and I've been on the cocky fence and the cocky side works wayyyy more. For whatever reason, logical or not, girls are more receptive to the fun cocky guy almost regardless of whther they date jerks or nice guys. It gets the foot in the door, so to speak...

Anyway this is not the issue- im still waiting to see if MM is gonna ask her out. I really don't think its a matter of whether he gets the girl or not now, but an internal struggle between will he or will he not ask. If he does, he grows. If he does not, he's stagnant. (At least at this stage of the game)

kalel · Feb 24, 2009

.

HB40 said:
Spermie is definately more pathetic, MMM you don't want to take advice from a guy who obviously has little understanding of the female psyche, and you definately don't want to talk to this girl with donair breath.

I am like you MMM, very nervous around pretty girls. Not as bad anymore because I've gained alot of confidence over the years seeing SP's but still can break into cold sweats and stutter. This can actually be used to your advantage, guys can come across incredibly sweet and harmless and personally I think a woman will respond just as positively as to the guys with all the confidence and cockiness of the bad boys.

my apologies up front for what i'm about to say, but you're saying you have a better understanding of the female psyche?

1) you say you get nervous around pretty girls. and seeing sp's has helped? because every girl on the street will respond the same way sp's do?

2) the sweet harmless guy can get them to respond the same way the cocky bad boy does?

not to bore you, but right there you just played into every false bit of advice most women give on how to get a girl. the reason i say it's false is because what they say they want and what they actually go for are two different things.

look, i'm a selfish bastard most of the time and if i was a girl i'd pick some nice guy over me because in the long run he might cater to her every whim, i won't. and he'll be easier to manipulate. but dammit if i don't beat that guy to her everytime because despite the cockyness and arrogance i'm abit more interesting and at the end of the day sweaty palms, nervousness, or shyness doesn't get them going. maybe in the made for tv movies it does or for a small % of the women it does but not generally. the first 15 minutes can either get her into you, or you can spend the next 15 months trying to "win" her over. not to negate what any sp on this board will tell you, but most of them will write something that in some way shape or form will still get the average guy to cater to women.

bottom line is most women do want a man, not a needy boy.

HB40 · Feb 24, 2009

LightBearer said:
And still no responses from the female members of perb. No giving away any secrets ladies.

Really!?! What`s the matter LB, you can only see things if they`re in link format?

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