Life after Porn documentary and the sex trade.

[sevenofnine]

Nothing really ground shaking here.

But you know what I took away from it.

Everyone wants to label or blame the sex trade for ruining girls or messing up girls and wrecking their lives.


I think girls in the industry fall into three groups.
One group the girls are allready messed up and confused going in and big surprise they stay that way.

The second group the girls are attention hounds adrenalin junkies there on this big ego high for what ever reason, Im simply the fucking best thing out there.
Its how they see themself their identity.
Their job and who they are intertwinded linked.
And you know what, the industry just chews them up and spits them out, we love girls like that, because we love so much to use them. Until the next best girl comes around.
And their bubble bursts and their left wondering what the fuck just happened. There is always another girl.
Or they have this big guilt god Im a porn star or a prostitute and it just eats at them.

The third group of girls.
Its just a job, its money. its a living. its not who I am or what I am, its a paycheck.
They make it work for them, instead of being used by it.
They have no big ego, or identity crisis or guilt.
Its paying the bills it lets them live a life style they want thats it.




I think we will always have this debate about porn and the industry.

There is a woman a former working girl she is on a crusade againest prostitution.
Her story is typical lured into it forced into working. The truth be told she was messed up, life wasn't at all kind to her.

But so what, Lots of people life hasn't been kind to them, and they don't turn into murders or hookers.
Take responsibility for yourself.

Im not wise enough to know whether prostitution or porn is right or wrong.
Its just out there, and I have used it.

The lady I see,
I keep asking her if she is ok, and I feel bad for using her.

Her answer,
we have used each other. To get what we want. Its a win for both of us.

 

[VanessaofBC]

gee whiz, 7of9.

You know I think you are very wise, but I am not taking everything you said in such a good way.

What are the sources for your material?

3 types of ladies in the biz? Is this from your perception, a former PERB poll, or from a source.

Ladies....do any of YOU fall into those three categories?

At the risk of outing myself or painting myself as a victim/whore/slut, let me share this with you.

My Doctor told me one day, with a sad look on her face..."You just got dealt a bad hand." I cried. Instantly.

I started in this industry 'cause I was (still am) one horny bitch. When I realized I could get paid to do what I love!!!! It was great. Life was good. Then, as you say, my "bubble" burst.

I left the industry.

After working at a "square" life for quite some time, I decided that the stress involved in working 2 (or 3) jobs, dealing with co-workers, bosses, office politics in 2 (or 3) jobs was driving me to the brink of insanity.

After much, much consideration I decided to return to this business.
I like it. It suits me. I have found my niche, I only work when I want. If I am having a bad day or am not "in the mood", I do not work.
I have come to learn that consistency in service is better than making money all the time, or "stacking paper".

It took me a long time to accept that this is what I do. Even when society is, claiming it is "wrong", "bad" or "immoral". I would not be here if there was not a need.

And I would not stay if I did not enjoy it.

edit: I want to add I love this crazy PERB community we all share and am happy we live in a country that can allow us to discuss things so openly.

 

[sevenofnine]

Just the way it is I think,
the university of life.

I think it applys to everything.
I mean if your identity is linked to your job, that is who you are, what you are.
What are you what do you have left when your fired or your company your baby is broke, or your to old to work.
Your just left standing there wondering, what it is all about and maybe you missed things because you were to busy focused on your job and you have regrets. And seriously there is more to life then a job, a lot more even if you own the company there is a lot more out there. But if that is all you are?

And I think messed up people just want to find people to blame. Its not my fault. There just confused don't have a grip on things, they need an out.
What ever they are or who they are or do, its never there fault. At some point we all make choices. Own them.
And I think that is the basis of confused messed up people they don't take responsiblility and two they don't have the maturity to deal with things. The emotional were with all. There after the easy answer the easy way out, the high.

People who are the most balanced have options, they have lots of options.
Work is one of them but its not at all who they are, they are loved and do love.
They have hobbies interests passions.
When one of them fails if it does. It is only a part of there life. Only part of who they are.
It doesn't at all identifiy them or limit them, they have multiply work skills and life skills.
And the biggest thing of all they can adapt.

 

[VanessaofBC]

I will say finding a balance was what I had to "learn".

For a long time my phone was attached to my wrist dare I miss a call. You never knew what the next day would bring.

I went back to school. I looked into other avenues, but I realized that this industry works for me. Now.
I returned to the industry and found a balance. I turn off my phone, go out with friends more often, do not worry about seeing every client that calls.

One day I may get the desire to go another direction, but that is a day I cannot predict.

We are who we are, people don't change. (or do they?)

Any way, I would hate to try to lump my clients into 3 different categories. The categories you have given suggest 3 types of motivation for a lady in this industry.
Are there just three motivating factors as to what drives a client to seek "companionship"? No.
So many factors influence a ladies decision to enter, stay and leave this business.

 

[Crumb]

I didn't read the original post but there's a doc on netflix.ca that has a similar title.

After Porn Ends

its work a look

 

[Nathalie Rose]

I think that "group" could really be divided into many subsets (as could anything you sweepingly generalised). The ones that truly enjoy every aspect of it, the ones that do it as a means to an end, the ones who do it as a career, the ones who do it for the flexibility in income/scheduling, the ones going to school...it goes on and on.

I agree that to group girls into only three categories is as grossly inaccurate as lumping clients into only three. My clients come and see me for a number of reasons - and that number certainly isn't three.

Great comment, totally agree.

I think generalizations, even positive ones like in the original post, tend to be used against us more than they serve us, but they're tempting in order to make sense of things. The reality is often so much more complex than can be fit into a neat and tidy box.

Certainly there are people in this industry who certainly don't feel great and have a history of abuse, but they still choose to do this work for so many great reasons (it pays well, you control your hours, it's flexible, entry standards are low). And the question then becomes how do we support those women, when their stories are less than palatable for mainstream digestion? How do we best stand by their choices, however terrible their past or present may be, when they're demanding the right to work?

Ruling out rape and kidnapping, which is TRULY what "sex trafficking" should be called, I think we have a moral obligation to support everyone in the business regardless of their place in it or how they come it, and I worry that short and sweet categories make sort of a "good whore/bad whore" dichotomy, even that isn't the intention.

Am I making any sense? A few glasses of wine in.... it's 7pm in Toronto!

 

[PlayfulAlex]

snip...I think girls in the industry fall into three groups.

C'mon 7, just own up and admit that your comment was a little narrow...

 

[Aleister Crowley]

this thread is just making me feel bad and tearing up for all the pussy i took advantage of.
over a 1000 yellow white black purple , big and fat and skinny and ugly and beautiful creatures of the opposite sex that i took advantage of becasue i was horney and had money to buy thier bodies for my selfish satisfaction.
i hope this feeling goes away as i think i,m getting horney again soon an wanna deposit some GOO . and i hate jacking off. geez guilt is a bitch !

 

[PlayfulAlex]

this thread is just making me feel bad and tearing up for all the pussy i took advantage of.
over a 1000 yellow white black purple , big and fat and skinny and ugly and beautiful creatures of the opposite sex that i took advantage of becasue i was horney and had money to buy thier bodies for my selfish satisfaction.
i hope this feeling goes away as i think i,m getting horney again soon an wanna deposit some GOO . and i hate jacking off. geez guilt is a bitch !

I wouldn't worry, goo, those guilty/bad/teary feelings will pass! They always do! :nod:

 

[sevenofnine]

Of course its a sweeping generlization.

But we tend to do that,
There are only two kinds of people in the world. Givers and takers. Glass half full, glass half empty. Thinkers and do'ers,
Reality is we are a mixture. A complex mixture.

But is it really.

I once had a big argument with a psychology prof.
Is everything black or white or shades of grey.
He said if the world is black and white to you, to put it kindly your an anal bastard. The world is grey.

No the world is really quite simple. Black or white on or off just like a computer. 0 and 1
From the simple yes or no on or off we build a very complex reality, but it still can be broken down to yes or no on or off.

What is that saying keep it simple stupid.

Or the simpliest answer is usually the right one.

I think science left to the scientists gets very complex very fast. But that is what they do to feel important. Like a lawyer with all his legaleze.

I think life is really pretty simple,
It can be boiled down to three simple things, I need to eat I need to reproduce I need to live another day.

A lady once told me its never about sex.
There is an element of truth to that.
One said we sell emotions as much as anything.

I think for some men its power. Others simply because they can.

Others its the only way they ever will.

 

[sevenofnine]

If you think that's what life is boiled down to, I feel sorry for you, I really do.

Oh no don't feel sorry for me.
I have eaten a lot, consumed a lot of food and beer, you would not believe the amount of food I have consumed.
And I have two kids, both doing well, soon to be grandpa, my dna will survive, and have seen my sp quite a bit over the past few years, so I am going through the motions of reproduction.,
And I am old and healthy. Will live a lot of years left.

You know what is life, think about it. the need to survive, the need to eat and reproduce,
That is the basis of living, from an single cell organism to a human being.

From there you build on it, Men are like stags competeing for women so we can breed or have access to the best food supply.
At the end of the day were animals. An animal that needs to eat, have sex and carry on another day.

 

[sevenofnine]

A human brain is the most complex thing ever discovered.

But it works on the same principal as a computer, on or off yes or no.
Both electical and chemical.
Everything can be reduced to make it that simple yes or no on of off.
There is no grey at all.