House-Elf Wanted

Volpina Vance

Vancouver Vamp
Jul 5, 2010
322
0
16
Vancouver, BC
I'm looking for a house-elf keep my place spic-and-span while I supervise and do homework. More experienced house-elves will be expected to be nude, or wearing only an apron from the waist plus gloves. I will be regal.

Obedience is key. Your responsibilities will include, but are not limited to:

-Folding linens
-Polishing the floor
-Dusting blinds
-Polishing mirrors
-Arranging lingerie
-Cleaning toilet and tub with scrutiny
-Sundry duties such as preparing study foods I may require.


To apply, please email a detailed description of yourself, your experience, and your recommendations to

Miss Volpina Vance
volpinavance@gmail.com

with the subject title "House-Elf Application." Only those approved for an interview will be contacted.

This is a part-time position with flexible scheduling from an equal-opportunity employer.

Addendum: Future applicants, please complete and include the following items in your email. Your responses are anonymous, and considered a courtesy to your future Mistress.


1. I am comfortable working alongside other Elves. Please highlight Yes or No.

2. a. I realize this House-Elf position is voluntary, and do not request remuneration in any capacity. Please highlight Yes or No.

b. If I prove an ineffective Elf, I understand that I will face termination unless I agree to training with my Mistress. Training in Elf duties will require of me between $30-$150 per lesson, depended on the severity of the lesson required. I will not be unfairly terminated or subjected to training; however, I am able to request training to give me a competitive edge against the other Elves. If you agree, please highlight: I understand and agree, Mistress.

3. a. As a House-Elf, I will be able to monetarily contribute to the condition of my Mistress' house through purchase of household supplies including food items. Please highlight Yes or No.

b. If Yes, to what estimated weekly amount in dollars? Type here:

4. Open format: to the best of your ability, please delineate your upcoming availability.

5. I have these further questions or comments:


Thank you for your responses.​
 

PuntMeister

Punt-on!
Jul 13, 2003
2,292
1,484
113
Interesting.

You had me until the "arranging lingerie" bit. I just cannot decide whether to sort by colour, texture, or kinkiness. The stress would just kill me. Best of luck for your devine search.

P.S. The interviews would make a great reality show!
 

edmontonsubbie

Edmontonsubbie
Apr 22, 2006
1,307
19
38
114
uh...Edmonton.
wow...I was a house elf once...albeit a year ago....and in a funny green suit and red hat with trippy boots. I loved the experience~! Some lucky local lad is going to find an interesting place to improve their domestic skills.
 

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,652
839
113
Interesting.

You had me until the "arranging lingerie" bit. I just cannot decide whether to sort by colour, texture, or kinkiness. The stress would just kill me. Best of luck for your devine search.

P.S. The interviews would make a great reality show!
Really, it's the stress of sorting that would kill you, not the stress of deciding which outfit to try on ???:D

wow...I was a house elf once...albeit a year ago....and in a funny green suit and red hat with trippy boots. I loved the experience~! Some lucky local lad is going to find an interesting place to improve their domestic skills.
Consider applying for relief elf, after all, even elves need a holiday now and then.:thumb:
 

CJ Tylers

Retired Sr. Member
Jan 3, 2003
1,643
1
0
46
North Vancouver
huh... aside from item #5, I do that at my house already, unpaid as well, as it were... I'm unclear on the benefits of the situation though :p
 

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,652
839
113
So, how did that work out for you ? Did you ever get your House-Alf ?


 
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