Vibrator for her? To Buy or not to Buy

[Lefty]

I am looking for some first hand experience from men who have bought their longterm SO a vibrator.
Especially if the sex-life was fading otherwise.

Did it help spice things up ? Did it increase her desire for frequency ?
Did it replace you even further ?

If you could do it again would you ? Ever wish you had done it sooner ?

My S/O's appetite for sex is dwindling. In the early yrs it was virtually daily; 5-10 times a week.
After a few yrs, maybe 3-4 / week.

After kids, maybe 1-2 week, and no longer during menstration week.

Now she seems satisfied with 1-2 per month. Less if I didnt keep trying.

Any advise ?
Lefty

 

[Jackster]

I can field this one...Your story sounds like a photo copy of mine except now we're about 1-2 every second month. Initially the vibrator did help, she enjoyed and i found it fun to use on her, but the desire to engage sexually still wasn't there for her. 50 Shades book series certainly did help, but that soon faded. I've long accepted my fate and after all, that's why we're here...

 

[sexytime]

The ex-wife already owned a couple by the time I met her. It made sex interesting, and it's also a quick way to make her come when it's not a good time to go down on her.

Unfortunately when things did start slowing down on her end we were trying more small things to spice it up, nothing drastic or shocking, but alas the efforts were futile. It's probably not true for all women, but in my case the problem wasn't the sex, it was psychological. She wanted (and was already seeing) someone else. Shit happens...not saying that it will happen to you in the same way, but whatever did happen has already shown its effects. Effects may just as well be reversible by romantic gestures better than by new bedroom toys.

LOL @ Jackster "...that's why we're all here". Life after marriage is lonely at times and dating can also suck at times. God bless SPs for providing that human connection to otherwise desolate men.

 

[luvsdaty]

I don't find life after marriage lonely at all If anything it was a huge weight off my shoulders when it ended.The break up didn't bother me nearly as much as when i was in my 20's,it was kinda like meh & i moved my crap outta the house.

 

[sexytime]

I don't find life after marriage lonely at all If anything it was a huge weight off my shoulders when it ended.The break up didn't bother me nearly as much as when i was in my 20's,it was kinda like meh & i moved my crap outta the house.

Because of many factors, it's different for everyone I suppose. I can selfishly say that I enjoy all the perks of single life. I consider myself to be a grown man, but probably not as much were I standing beside a family man with responsibilities far greater than his own. It sounds cheesy, but life is a bit dull without a family to be there for. I digress.

Back to the topic at hand, sex toys are good but are not the single thing that can save your marriage's sex life. Balance is where it's at, but the hard part is identifying what else is out of balance. Not like I know how to keep a marriage or anything...

 

[Torrential]

Lefty, I think like almost all things, they do get 'old' after-while. Unless your gal has never really discovered self-pleasure before this point in time, I don't expect it to have any profound difference on her sexual appetite.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

In my experience, it isn't cool for a guy to buy his girl a vibrator, without her full consent and agreement. You can't just spring it on her! It doesn't make a good surprise gift, it hints at what's not happening around here, without coming right out and addressing the situation.

Now, one exception might be: let's say it's Valentine's or something...her gift contains a luxurious robe, a silk nighty with a matching thong, bath salts, scented candles, a sexy massage coupon (from you), and a pocket rocket...now it's a more subtle gift, with a hint of sensuality...and an invitation...you arrange a sitter, and pour her bubble bath...

http://www.pinkcherry.ca/vibrators/pocket-rockets (I haven't tried this site but have tried the Pocket Rocket, so this is what came up in my Google search)

Good Luck with that!