taller girls - shorter guys...does it work?

[stray_slacker]

So, I really like this girl at work, but I mostly find myself hesitant to ask her out because she's taller than me. I'm about 5'9 and she is probably 5'10-5'11, but she wears shoes with a heel quite often, so she usually stands like 6'1 maybe? I dunno how much they add, but she's pretty damn tall. The odd time she wears flip-flops or whatever in the summer, she really doesn't "tower" over me at all and we're actually fairly close to being eye to eye, although she still has me by an inch or so. But those times are rare....most of the time around the office she is noticeably bigger than me with those damn shoes on.

My head is telling my not to bother asking her out and just to go for the usual young girl at school where the height thing isn't an issue. But my heart keeps telling me that this girl is special and really has long-term GF potential, unlike the ditzy little girls that I normally date. I really like this girl and I actually care about what she thinks, says, and feels. I think about her quite a bit and I definitely want to get to know her better and see if we can take our relationship to the next level.

But really, I like to consider myself a realist too and at times I think it's just not natural when I try to picture myself with her. I'm sure she feels the same way too? This combination is rare and there are reasons for it. I can get over my insecurities about it, but what about her? Basically, it's in her DNA to reject shorter guys. Chances are she might feel like I was her kid brother or something?

Just how big of an issue is this? Ladies....Am I making too big a deal out of a couple inches or do most women avoid shorter men at all costs? I'd understand if I was 5'3 or something or if the difference in height was like a foot, but a couple of inches?? At times it feels like nothing and at other times it feels like an insurmountable obstacle. Yeah there are always exceptions, but since it's a work thing, I'd like to know there's a decent chance before I start pursuing it further.

I'd greatly appreciate it if the ladies would add their thoughts as I'm most interested in hearing your perspective on the matter, but anyone can obviously say what they want. Also, if anyone has been in this type of relationship before, please respond. Was it weird at all?

Cheers...

 

[chilli]

Don't ask her out on a date.

You work together. Your silly head is doing the thinking here.

This is what you do.

You find an activity that is "safe" and invite her along. Ask a few people from work - so it's a group thing, trust me if she digs you she will find a way to speak to you. You will get the vibe or you won't.

Just don't you give her the vibe - k.

Girls hate it when guys hit on them, but if she likes you it will drive her crazy if you don't.

This is important - you can't make any moves... make her wonder... if she ever asks, just be straight up and say I was always worried since we worked together.

Then one day when you are both really drunk... just take her and give her the best sex of her life.

You deserve it partner

 

[d_Duck55]

Some taller girls just HAVE to have a taller guy, some don't. When you are lying down, the difference isn't noticeable.

I am 6' tall, and dated a girl who was 6'1" tall. I tell you, I never had better posture than during the few months we were dating. Because I wanted to be the tallest I could be!

 

[the_shogun]

her being tall shouldn't be a problem. if you like here, go for it. a friend of mine who is this short ass stub got one of the hottest girls i know who is really tall for the average girl and they are the happiest couple i know.

it's all about how you go about it, and i agree with Chilli on that part.

 

[stray_slacker]

Don't ask her out on a date.

You work together. Your silly head is doing the thinking here.

This is what you do.

You find an activity that is "safe" and invite her along. Ask a few people from work - so it's a group thing, trust me if she digs you she will find a way to speak to you. You will get the vibe or you won't.

Just don't you give her the vibe - k.

Girls hate it when guys hit on them, but if she likes you it will drive her crazy if you don't.

This is important - you can't make any moves... make her wonder... if she ever asks, just be straight up and say I was always worried since we worked together.

This actually sounds like pretty good advice, thanks chilli. The fact that we work together definitely makes the situation more delicate. I don't want to hit on her like some idiot, only to have her shoot me down because we work together or I'm too short or too whatever, making things awkward around the office...so I think something innocent outside of work could work. I always play it cool around her now, just like talking to another co-worker, so it's kinda hard to read the situation. We're both holding our cards pretty close to our vests right now, so I don't know what's going on. Hopefully a more casual atmosphere and a little more time to talk will reveal a little more and I can see if she wants to send any signals or not. But I agree that it's probably best to let her let me know that it's okay to pursue this type of relationship or that our heights doesn't seem to be an issue.

Some taller girls just HAVE to have a taller guy, some don't. When you are lying down, the difference isn't noticeable.

I am 6' tall, and dated a girl who was 6'1" tall. I tell you, I never had better posture than during the few months we were dating. Because I wanted to be the tallest I could be!

Yeah, definitely...but what percentage do you think need their man to be bigger than them? I have no idea, which is why I hoped some ladies would respond with their views...but apparently they're all busy.

Personally, I think MOST women "NEED" their man to be taller than they are, not just some. Even if I am only a couple of inches shorter, I think my odds are likely less than 50% right off the bat....and probably still less because I work with her. Now is this girl the the rule or the exception? I don't know, but I know I don't want to do something stupid and get shot down because she'd never date someone who reminded her of her little brother and fuck things up at work. This is why chilli's suggestion is probably the only way to go.

her being tall shouldn't be a problem. if you like here, go for it.

Yeah, I like her alot....that's why I'm so in my head about this. Normally I wouldn't even consider dating a girl like her and I would just move on. But this one seems different. I like her so much more than the annoying little bitches I usually date for superficial reasons and toss aside without a second thought. I think about her alot and I dread to think about if she "got away" and I never let her know how I feel. Still....I think chilli's right and I need not do anything stupid. I've just got to hold back for now and take things easy and do things the right way.

Thank you all for your responses.

 

[chilli]

As long as you are the guy who organizes the event, you will "stand out" - invite who ever and have fun with it.

At the very least you're going to have a good time with a bunch of your co workers.

Trust me, if you do the organizing it makes you stand out in a "good way".

Certainly in a way for her to see you a little bit differently.

 

[chilli]

The double standard that exists in this regard is really pathetic.

Women complain all the time about men wanting women who are not fat or overweight.

Yet is common knowledge that a lot of women prefer men taller then them.

A man can not do anything about his height, but a woman can sure as hell do something about her weight.

I am so lucky I was not born a short guy, (I'm 6'1") men have it rough as it is finding a good woman in Vancouver without having been born short.

 

[hunsperger]

The double standard that exists in this regard is really pathetic.

Women complain all the time about men wanting women who are not fat or overweight.

Yet is common knowledge that a lot of women prefer men taller then them.

A man can not do anything about his height, but a woman can sure as hell do something about her weight.

I am so lucky I was not born a short guy, (I'm 6'1") men have it rough as it is finding a good woman in Vancouver without having been born short.

There is no double standard...

Men are superficial and choose their mates based on looks...

Women are superficial and choose their mates based on wealth...

 

[hunsperger]

Physical attributes...

Since were on the subject of physical compatibility...

I tend to agree with what Bernie Ecclestone said about woman; that they should always be dressed in white like all other domestic appliances...

 

[MRGREEN]

When Dudley Moore was married to Susan Anton, he joked that he went up on her

 

[hunsperger]

Tianna...

You sound like a very enlightened lady...

Whoever is fortunate enough to have you in his life is a very lucky man...

 

[nube]

thats a good one but I do believe woman belong in the kitchen among other places ..... The role of a woman is a beautiful thing... womans liberation has done us well, and Im happy to live in a world where we have so many choices as women... however some woman have taken that too far... there is something to be said about a career minded woman.. but that should not take away from the role in which you were born into ... I think men and woman who understand and honour these roles... have long lasting relationships... One might be so pround to say that He has a doting wife.. who cooks and cleans and raises the children.. and attends to his every need.. and one woman might be so pround to do so for her husband .... Dressing in white to match the kitchen is a bit far fetched in my books.. but cooking and cleaning in high heels.. and short skirts is very doable

So beautiful and soooo smart....dangerous combo...but worth the risk

 

[chilli]

Not really. It's not mean or malicious to state what you find attractive in a person.

That double standard you talk of...exists alright..but in BOTH cases.

Actually in the context of the OP's post - your post is insensitive at the very least.

Did you post in a mean or malicious manner - yes.

It would the same thing as a big fat girl posting on here and saying I really like this cute guy at work but I'm not sure what I should do, and I posted saying I would never date a fat chick.

Give your head a shake.

 

[cutesexymya]

I saw this post and i had had had to reply hehe

Myself I stand 6'2" without any shoes, u should see how tall i am in stelletos oh my! and u know my personal veiw on this has changed over the years, when i was younger and did not know much about what the meaning of live love and laugh was, i had this perfect picture of my partner in my head, tall dark and handsome.... now though things have changed for me.

i really dont care if my guy is taller or shorter, and we are all the same height in bed (for the most part) so really who cares? if u are the type that like to go out and have ur girlfriend noticed every where she goes, then dating a tall girl is for u, if u are jealous, and protective of ur girl, dont, cause people just cant help but to stare hehe

 

[JustAGuy]

I like her so much more than the annoying little bitches I usually date for superficial reasons and toss aside without a second thought.

You certainly sound like a real prize, doc. Any woman, short, tall or in between would be very, very lucky to snag you.

 

[AA_Train]

People find whatever physical traits attractive for different reasons. Everybody has a preference like I prefer blondes but have no problems seeing brunettes. However in my experience women tend to be more stuck on their physical preferences then men are, usually until their mid 30s when they tend to be more open to all different types of men probably because their dating pool gets smaller for various reasons. (age, divorce, children , career etc)

It does look a little awkward when their is a woman who is noticeably taller than her man and i usually don't like a woman who is more than 2" taller than me because of the heel factor but if you click you click. However, height should not be a dealbreaker for either party. It is our (perceived) inperfections that make us beautiful

 

[aznboi9]

If slaman rushdie can do get a girl like that to marry him, I guess anything's possible. What a guy.

http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlLA/original/slaman_rushdie_padma_lakshmi_BPE_20070115.jpg

 

[kman32]

If slaman rushdie can do get a girl like that to marry him, I guess anything's possible. What a guy.

Quite the Persian Flaw there. I wonder what happened to her.

Back to the topic. I don't know why people try to figure out "do women like this, do women like that". Women aren't one big monolithic group that have the same opinion about everything. Some women love short guys, some women hate short guys, some are completely indifferent. Even if you know a woman likes tall guys, who cares? Ask her out anyway! Surely we men have more to offer than a height advantage. We can also fix things and kill bugs too! But seriously, why focus on a perceived shortcoming? Stay focused on your positives. If you're short don't wonder 'does she like short guys', if you're funny ask yourself 'does she like funny guys'. Does she like romantic guys, does she like ambitious guys does she like artistic guys or athletic guys? That sounds a lot better than 'does she like short guys with short dicks and back hair'. Now go ask her out you cute little munchkin!!

 

[wolverine]

One of several reasons why I prefer smaller women is because of women's biological preference for taller guys. On the dating sites like lavalife, most of the females on there may as well erect a sign that says "you must this tall to ride". What I really hate is when women who are 5 inches shorter than me want guys who are taller than me.

That said, I have gone out with girls who are taller than me, but it could be because her dating options are limited by her size as well. But for the most part those taller girls will still seek guys taller than them, which means they'll have to be hanging out at basketball courts if they want to be picked up.

 

[Thelyhi]

I had a coworker guy around 5'6"? and he had a girlfriend 6'1".
They dated,and were later married. They were both different nationalities and currently living in the guy home country.In a hot (war)zone.

The irony is the gal did mentioned that she always wanted," to meet a taller guy than she was?"But I guess he had a charming personality to win her over.

The guy was not rich.He had 2 jobs-1 in self business and 2nd was in a restaurant.He smokes,short and hairy.

Lucky bastard,,,she was like model height and some looker too.