Personal Dilemma

[Tracker_NPC]

Hi everyone, I'm a first timer here.. I've come to ask for advice and help on something that I can't really ask anywhere else.

In 'first-timer', I mean in the sense of... asking the services of a SP. It's kind of a hard subject for me actually... I never thought that it would come to this, or that I would be actually be posting here about this subject. I've just gotten over scars from a very personally traumatic experience with a now 'ex' girlfriend I was with for 5 years. Due to a certain situation, I never really got to... have any sort of relations with her (or anyone else for that matter; i'm still young). I am 'mostly' over it, but unfortunately, I am now in a position where I am stranded. All my friends are in relationships. It seems like everyone is taken, even in the classes I am taking at the university. It's not that I'm unattractive either. The emotional scars have taken it's toll on my social confidence (shyness) which makes matters even worse.

Now I'm at the biggest problem of my life. My libido seems to be taking control of my mind, which makes it hard to focus on school work. It gets worse and worse... it just started at pictures, then eventually moved to cragslist, and now I'm here. Deep down I'm a hopeless romantic (or at least, used to be) and doing things to a random person would just be....... I just feel like I'm heading in that direction without any control... but I don't want it turning into the biggest mistake of my life.

I don't know if I'm posting this in the right section or posting it to people who really care that much. I just don't know anymore... I'm so lost.

 

[FortunateOne]

If you are saying you are a virgin, then you might receive some different responses. Some will say save it for a gf, and others will recommend a few sps (like Indy Isabelle) who are awesome with someone experiencing their first time.

If it is simply a first time with an sp, there are also some sps who are good with the nervous and shy guys.

This is not a forum where anyone is in a position to judge you for your choices.

 

[MaxBoner]

Others will disagree, but a tried and tested way of getting over a girl, is to have another one under you. Listen to your libido, 9/10 times your body knows sub-consciously the answer to the problem.

 

[Tracker_NPC]

@FortunateOne: Yup, I'm a virgin, technically anyway. My ex and I usually got to the foreplay stage, but never had the privacy to go any further; that was at the beginning anyway. Times like that got less and less as we grew up... she just lost interest... even when there were times to go all the way, she was 'buzy' or didn't feel like it. Plus, I have a very vivid imagination, so I'm not completely in the dark.... I don't think anyway.... Thanks though.

@MaxBoner: Thanks, I'll try to keep that in mind the best I can.


@VictoriaJolie: The 'trauma' I mentioned didn't have to do with our sexual activity; it was how she treated me at the end of our relationship... It's something better left unsaid. But what you said.... I think that might help me. I'd feel less awkward if I started off here, I guess. Thank you very much.

I still feel abit uneasy, but I think I'm just trying to cope with the reality of being here now. I really never thought it would be this hopeless for me.... Kind of feels like I'm living the aftermath of a bad ending to a story.

 

[Katlyn]

Without knowing you it is hard to give a really good reply but I will do my best...

First, if you are a hopeless romantic as you say and the thought of being with a stranger is upsetting to you, I recommend you do some real research on the girls that are available and become a regular client. Do not just see girl after girl, instead stick with one and develop a rapport with her. Find one you are not only physically attracted to but also intellectually. Someone who's humour you get and who's posts you relate to (you can use the search function on this forum to find posts made by a specific user).

Also, I would recommend if you are really nervous of having sex for the first time, or of having sex with a stranger, that you just don't have sex with her until you are ready. It is a common misconception that SPs fuck all day. Even before I started offering lower rate non-fs appointments I'd say about 40% of my appointments were not full service and I know for certain several other SPs have the same stats. So it is not unusual for them to have a non-sex, or even non-sexual booking. You might want to start with a 4 hr dinner & private time date. You can really feel like you are getting to know her and then in private if you are ready you can have sex and if you are not ready, maybe the next time when you are.

Now, one thing you have to be really honest with yourself about though is if you can handle it emotionally. How much will it mess you up? Someone with limited sexual experience can often get really caught up and believe they love the person they are having sex with. You need to realize that no matter how close you and your SP get, she is still your SP, your service provider, and it is her job to make sure you have an amazing experience. She is NOT falling in love with you just because she looks you deep in the eyes and smiles, nor are you the only client that she (potentially) has mind-blowing orgasms with.

If you think that you can handle this then by all means go for it. A good client-sp relationship can be really very very therapeutic. You are shy and scared of women but if you go with an SP who is patient and will guide you and is not a fantasy woman but rather someone you could see yourself dating for real, you will find your confidence with other women start to increase as you start to learn how to pleasure a woman well.

BUT you need to be honest with yourself because if you are not ready it could turn into a bad experience. I believe with the clients it is the same as with the sps. At one point we become emotionally/psychologically ready. An unknown fact: In December I actually emailed Classy Angel asking about the industry. She told me flat out "you are not ready" and she was right. In June I started doing R&T massage and I happened upon the ladies forum and got in touch with Angel again, not realizing it was the same person at first. We talked on the phone for 2 hours and this time her response was "I think you're going to enjoy being an escort". And she was spot on again, brilliant woman that Angel!!

If I had started in Dec it would have really messed me up. I would have been doing it for the wrong reasons and I would not have had a good experience. Instead I waited and when I was ready it was a great experience. I genuinely enjoy what I do and am really happy when I get to help people, such as yourself, by sharing myself completely with them (whether that means emotionally or sexually).

So give it a long thought and if you think you can handle it, find yourself a lady who you relate to and stick with her until you feel you are ready to have a girlfriend again.

xox
~ Katlyn ~

 

[rampart]

find a in-charge Sp

I think the guy should book a three hour session with a top line SP that does not have the look of the women that he is interested in. If he likes women taller and brunette with a curvy build he should get a little blonde dynamo.

The whole idea should be about the SP being in charge and showing him what women like sexually in the first hour and to find out what he likes sexually in the second hour and the third hour is melding the two. Sort of like the practiccum after the lessons and workshops.

That way he can keep the emotion out of it and enjoy the pure physical nature of uninhibited carnal relations.

 

[Heather Honey]

yum yum

I think the guy should book a three hour session with a top line SP that does not have the look of the women that he is interested in. If he likes women taller and brunette with a curvy build he should get a little blonde dynamo.

The whole idea should be about the SP being in charge and showing him what women like sexually in the first hour and to find out what he likes sexually in the second hour and the third hour is melding the two. Sort of like the practiccum after the lessons and workshops.

That way he can keep the emotion out of it and enjoy the pure physical nature of uninhibited carnal relations.

nice looove those longer sessions

The idea of going for the opposite looking girl of the ex is a cool idea too.

The posts on here are amazingly thoughtful.
So many answers to your Personal Dilemma already, see?

 

[Katlyn]

I think the guy should book a three hour session with a top line SP that does not have the look of the women that he is interested in. If he likes women taller and brunette with a curvy build he should get a little blonde dynamo.

The whole idea should be about the SP being in charge and showing him what women like sexually in the first hour and to find out what he likes sexually in the second hour and the third hour is melding the two. Sort of like the practiccum after the lessons and workshops.

That way he can keep the emotion out of it and enjoy the pure physical nature of uninhibited carnal relations.

This is actually a GREAT idea if it is all about loosing his virginity and especially if he is worried about emotional attachment. Kudos for sharing

 

[Validator]

First of all, go whack one off. Second, how old are you? Off the bat, I think ur just a horny student and feeling lonely cuz all ur friends are hooked up. If so, suck it go make some friends with single people and go meet some girls. Its part of growing up. Go ahead book an sp, but if I'm right, I don't think it'll help you and instead just make u dependent on them.

 

[Tracker_NPC]

@rampart: Hmmm.... That would seem like the best solution possible for me. actually. 3 hour session though... I'm not very well read into how much something like that would cost... I'm on student loans as it is, not to mention how much my photo equipment/supplies puts me back.

I really want to thank everyone here that gave some advice for me. (except "Validator" who completely offended me) Special thanks to Katlyn who really analyzed my situation and gave incredible help and insight.
All this advice really cheered me up abit.

 

[TheGuy]

Personally, I think it is very sad for a young man to see and SP. It is not a good way to start your sexual and a social crutch that may last for a life time.

There are tons of girls out there - get involved in some groups and meet some people.

Once you start with SP's you will never leave - an SP does not make demands or make our lives difficult (except financially) and so they are any easy choice when lonely or horny or bored. It easily becomes an addiction and can prevent you from dealing with your problems.

Find someone to talk to or find a girl to love - there are so many single girls.

 

[Validator]

Yes TheGuy said it way better than me. I agree with him 100%. It might not be something u wanna hear, but the underlyinh issues will catch up to you eventually. I say face them head on now, while ur young (assuming u r) and if u aren't, well better late than never. But really, ur on student loans too. Goin into debt for this hobby-that warrants some consideration.

And in case u think I'm some kinda jerk or something. I was in a similar situation as a few years back, student, virgin, student loans, part time job, low on the confidence, u name it. That's why I may come off as harsh because its the straight goods. The real answer to ur problems come from within u, not from an external factor like an sp.

 

[Small pleasures]

I think the guy should book a three hour session with a top line SP that does not have the look of the women that he is interested in. If he likes women taller and brunette with a curvy build he should get a little blonde dynamo.

The whole idea should be about the SP being in charge and showing him what women like sexually in the first hour and to find out what he likes sexually in the second hour and the third hour is melding the two. Sort of like the practiccum after the lessons and workshops.

That way he can keep the emotion out of it and enjoy the pure physical nature of uninhibited carnal relations.

I'm a little blond dynamo who can take charge and show him how to satisfy a woman for the first hour...someone else is going to have to take the next 2 shifts tho. (Ha Ha)

 

[dipitydoo]

watch out

@rampart: Hmmm.... That would seem like the best solution possible for me. actually. 3 hour session though... I'm not very well read into how much something like that would cost... I'm on student loans as it is, not to mention how much my photo equipment/supplies puts me back.

I really want to thank everyone here that gave some advice for me. (except "Validator" who completely offended me) Special thanks to Katlyn who really analyzed my situation and gave incredible help and insight.
All this advice really cheered me up abit.

Tracker,

I am sorry to say, but I agree with Validator 110% and disagree with Katlyn, who even if she sounds like she's trying to help, will only confuse matters even more.

Take if from someone that started off his sexual life with an SP. (yes, that's me). I do regret it after all these years! it completely skewed my perception of what sex should be and made me, in the long run, dependant on SPs to fulfill any and every sexual desire instead of knowing how to develop the social skill to interest, entice, seduce and excite a "regular" girl. I do not know how much money I spent in my pooning days, but trust me... by now I could be pretty well off if I had invested it (haven't seen an SP in months, ever since I got busted doing it). I don't regret the experiences I had and the amazing sensual encounters I lived with many of these girls, I admit I was somehow delighted and hooked on the idea of being able to have sex with a very attractive girl and not have to worry about how to talk to her, or having to worry if she'd actually give me the time of day, if I was her type, etc.

I am in no way condoning the use of SPs, I think they serve a great purpose in society and it's something that just is. It exists, has existed since humanity can remember, and well... it's not going to dissapear anytime soon. I don't think seeing a call-girl, escort, masseuse, exotic dancer, etc is a bad thing at all. Some people have said it, like anything in life, if done with moderation, it's fine.

I am just seeing myself (albeit with a little different scenario) in your posting and after quite a few years of pooning, sometimes more actively than other times, I seriously think that I would have had the opportunity to develop in a more balanced way when it comes to sex. Trust me, getting laid without having to pay for it feels REALLY, REALLY good. You know it's about your personality, about you being physically attractive to someone else, and not only about your money.

I do not mean to offend you at all, I just want to extend my opinion on the matter for you to consider. I don't want you to become dependent on SPs because of your shyness. You can try them later, but make an effort to get laid without paying for it. It does not have to be a perfect woman, just someone you think is cool, intelligent and is not ugly to your eyes.
Since you are a romantic at heart, trust me, it would be VERY EASY to fall in love with a working girl, and believe me when I tell you that it will take its toll on you. You will get upset and obsessed with the girl, and that will mean paying more and more to be able to spend more time with her so you can simulate a more traditional relationship. (the non FS sessions Katlyn talks about). It's a bit sad if you ask me... I am not judging you man, I went through it myself and it would be so much healthier for you if you could develop intimacy without secrecy.
I developed a strange association between sex and secrecy, and it's not very rewarding if you ask me. I noticed that whenever I ended up going out with a girl (not an SP), I had a way of looking at sex that made me feel a bit uneasy.

Anyhow, it's just a bit of my experience and I know you're a different person and therefore you would probably fare differently in life if you were put in the same or similar situations as me, but I can't help but say be careful. Don't let a lame and painful experience with an ex GF turn you off of hooking up with a girl without having to pay for it. Oh... and try to do it without the help of the internet if you can! Meet her outside, in the real world! Don't do it exclusively on dating sites, etc. Online interactions can be quite addictive.

In an y way, best of luck and let us know what you decide! Whatever it is you choose, be conscious of your decision and do it with confidence, be assertive and enjoy it.

 

[trackstar]

Tracker,

I am sorry to say, but I agree with Validator 110% and disagree with Katlyn, who even if she sounds like she's trying to help, will only confuse matters even more.

Take if from someone that started off his sexual life with an SP. (yes, that's me). I do regret it after all these years! it completely skewed my perception of what sex should be and made me, in the long run, dependant on SPs to fulfill any and every sexual desire instead of knowing how to develop the social skill to interest, entice, seduce and excite a "regular" girl. I do not know how much money I spent in my pooning days, but trust me... by now I could be pretty well off if I had invested it (haven't seen an SP in months, ever since I got busted doing it). I don't regret the experiences I had and the amazing sensual encounters I lived with many of these girls, I admit I was somehow delighted and hooked on the idea of being able to have sex with a very attractive girl and not have to worry about how to talk to her, or having to worry if she'd actually give me the time of day, if I was her type, etc.

I am in no way condoning the use of SPs, I think they serve a great purpose in society and it's something that just is. It exists, has existed since humanity can remember, and well... it's not going to dissapear anytime soon. I don't think seeing a call-girl, escort, masseuse, exotic dancer, etc is a bad thing at all. Some people have said it, like anything in life, if done with moderation, it's fine.

I am just seeing myself (albeit with a little different scenario) in your posting and after quite a few years of pooning, sometimes more actively than other times, I seriously think that I would have had the opportunity to develop in a more balanced way when it comes to sex. Trust me, getting laid without having to pay for it feels REALLY, REALLY good. You know it's about your personality, about you being physically attractive to someone else, and not only about your money.

I do not mean to offend you at all, I just want to extend my opinion on the matter for you to consider. I don't want you to become dependent on SPs because of your shyness. You can try them later, but make an effort to get laid without paying for it. It does not have to be a perfect woman, just someone you think is cool, intelligent and is not ugly to your eyes.
Since you are a romantic at heart, trust me, it would be VERY EASY to fall in love with a working girl, and believe me when I tell you that it will take its toll on you. You will get upset and obsessed with the girl, and that will mean paying more and more to be able to spend more time with her so you can simulate a more traditional relationship. (the non FS sessions Katlyn talks about). It's a bit sad if you ask me... I am not judging you man, I went through it myself and it would be so much healthier for you if you could develop intimacy without secrecy.
I developed a strange association between sex and secrecy, and it's not very rewarding if you ask me. I noticed that whenever I ended up going out with a girl (not an SP), I had a way of looking at sex that made me feel a bit uneasy.

Anyhow, it's just a bit of my experience and I know you're a different person and therefore you would probably fare differently in life if you were put in the same or similar situations as me, but I can't help but say be careful. Don't let a lame and painful experience with an ex GF turn you off of hooking up with a girl without having to pay for it. Oh... and try to do it without the help of the internet if you can! Meet her outside, in the real world! Don't do it exclusively on dating sites, etc. Online interactions can be quite addictive.

In an y way, best of luck and let us know what you decide! Whatever it is you choose, be conscious of your decision and do it with confidence, be assertive and enjoy it.

Very well said!

My $0.02:

Sex without emotion is very different from sex without. Do you really want your first time (Which you will remember FOREVER) to be just a "lay"? Or would you rather it be a special moment with someone you genuinely care for and want so badly it is all that you can think about? An encounter without conventional restrictions, knowing that the person you are with wants you as badly as you want her?

Obviously this is your decision to make, but just remember, your first time only happens once. Just make sure that it is something that you can live with for the rest of your life, because as I said, the memory of your first encounter will last a lifetime Good luck

 

[Katlyn]

Take if from someone that started off his sexual life with an SP. (yes, that's me). I do regret it after all these years! it completely skewed my perception of what sex should be and made me, in the long run, dependant on SPs to fulfill any and every sexual desire instead of knowing how to develop the social skill to interest, entice, seduce and excite a "regular" girl. ...

Dipidydoo, this was a great post, thanks so much for sharing. I actually agree with you and don't think someone's first should be an SP either...but if he's gonna do it anyway I wanted to try help show him everything he should consider.

I don't necessarily agree that your first should be someone you love (which some people have said)...mine was just a boyfriend in highschool who was as horny as me and wanted to see what it was like and in the ten years i've been having sex I have not had any hangups, nor do I think that affected me negatively. I have a healthy view of sex and am able to appreciate it for pleasure alone and also deeply connect with someone I love through it. BUT, even if it is not someone you love, having sex for the first time because you are horny, with someone equally as horny and wanting YOU (rather than because of love) is completely different than paying someone to have sex with you the first time.

My roommate Madeleine says the OP should learn to play guitar and should watch the movie "The Toa of Steve"

 

[ChineseDude]

You should be over it, 5 years is a longtime to not have sex.

Nothing wrong with going to an SP if you got a need, it'll just get worst and worst and affect your work, or studies. Each road paves way for different directions, it doesn't have to be a scenic drive when you just learning to drive. The more you drive, the earlier you figure out where the chill-spots in the city are. I had similar experiences with Katyn the first time around. I got with some chick in Highschool due to horniness. I don't remember much from the first time, but it was no romantic for sure. I don't recall it except the chick stinks.

Sometimes I regret getting in this scene though, so much feelings and emotions involved. When you fall for an SP, there is another dilemma, either you pay for more of it and gamble your money for her trust or cut off ties. There is no easy way out.

I still remember the first time seeing an SP, taiwanese chick by the name of Kylah Got ripped off, I left so happy though and got a headache for the rest of the day, that euphoric condition is what we live life for. And I still remember going to the SP I ended up falling for, sunny wintery day, it made my week. All other visits to SP are just mediocre, with gloomy feeling when you leave the apartment building, plus your pocket feels a tad lighter.

The thing is, there's no such thing as sex addiction, because once you start, you gotta keep doing it.

To see SP or not see SP for first time, your decision.

 

[Tracker_NPC]

I came here out of necessity because the itch that I just couldn't scratch had gotten continually worse and worse; and my shyness had not gotten any better. I constantly told myself all the problems but after so many years of loneliness, I had begun to doubt everything that I was thinking. Dipitydoo (& a few others) have convinced me not to start off with an SP. And, actually, I am feeling alot better now that my conscience has been reinforced.

I'm going to try getting over myself and get out there alittle more... it's hard for me, but if I use this as incentive... there's a chance I could still make it (before I go completely nutty ).

Thanks so much everyone; Your comments and PMs are so well written and insightful. You have no idea how much internal grief you've saved me from. I really really mean it; thank you so much.

 

[Extreme April]

Without knowing you it is hard to give a really good reply but I will do my best...

First, if you are a hopeless romantic as you say and the thought of being with a stranger is upsetting to you, I recommend you do some real research on the girls that are available and become a regular client. Do not just see girl after girl, instead stick with one and develop a rapport with her. Find one you are not only physically attracted to but also intellectually. Someone who's humour you get and who's posts you relate to (you can use the search function on this forum to find posts made by a specific user).

Also, I would recommend if you are really nervous of having sex for the first time, or of having sex with a stranger, that you just don't have sex with her until you are ready. It is a common misconception that SPs fuck all day. Even before I started offering lower rate non-fs appointments I'd say about 40% of my appointments were not full service and I know for certain several other SPs have the same stats. So it is not unusual for them to have a non-sex, or even non-sexual booking. You might want to start with a 4 hr dinner & private time date. You can really feel like you are getting to know her and then in private if you are ready you can have sex and if you are not ready, maybe the next time when you are.

Now, one thing you have to be really honest with yourself about though is if you can handle it emotionally. How much will it mess you up? Someone with limited sexual experience can often get really caught up and believe they love the person they are having sex with. You need to realize that no matter how close you and your SP get, she is still your SP, your service provider, and it is her job to make sure you have an amazing experience. She is NOT falling in love with you just because she looks you deep in the eyes and smiles, nor are you the only client that she (potentially) has mind-blowing orgasms with.

If you think that you can handle this then by all means go for it. A good client-sp relationship can be really very very therapeutic. You are shy and scared of women but if you go with an SP who is patient and will guide you and is not a fantasy woman but rather someone you could see yourself dating for real, you will find your confidence with other women start to increase as you start to learn how to pleasure a woman well.

BUT you need to be honest with yourself because if you are not ready it could turn into a bad experience. I believe with the clients it is the same as with the sps. At one point we become emotionally/psychologically ready. An unknown fact: In December I actually emailed Classy Angel asking about the industry. She told me flat out "you are not ready" and she was right. In June I started doing R&T massage and I happened upon the ladies forum and got in touch with Angel again, not realizing it was the same person at first. We talked on the phone for 2 hours and this time her response was "I think you're going to enjoy being an escort". And she was spot on again, brilliant woman that Angel!!

If I had started in Dec it would have really messed me up. I would have been doing it for the wrong reasons and I would not have had a good experience. Instead I waited and when I was ready it was a great experience. I genuinely enjoy what I do and am really happy when I get to help people, such as yourself, by sharing myself completely with them (whether that means emotionally or sexually).

So give it a long thought and if you think you can handle it, find yourself a lady who you relate to and stick with her until you feel you are ready to have a girlfriend again.

xox
~ Katlyn ~

Well said Katlyn. I especially have a few close clients that I have that special relationship with. Makes both feel cared about without turning each others lives upside down.

love and laughs
April

 

[Extreme April]

I have had a few guys that were virgins that were about to married and wanted to know how to please their future wives.
It is painful enough for a girl to loose her virginity as it is. Now add a guy that has never had sex himself...fumbling around....and I can say that if these guys did have intercourse the way they were doing it....well all I can say is...those poor women. Hopefully, I had made a difference and hopefully they will remember to take their time and not rush....which was a common scenerio with each one.

Sorry if you dont agree but this is my 2 cents worth.
love and laughs
April

Tracker,

I am sorry to say, but I agree with Validator 110% and disagree with Katlyn, who even if she sounds like she's trying to help, will only confuse matters even more.

Take if from someone that started off his sexual life with an SP. (yes, that's me). I do regret it after all these years! it completely skewed my perception of what sex should be and made me, in the long run, dependant on SPs to fulfill any and every sexual desire instead of knowing how to develop the social skill to interest, entice, seduce and excite a "regular" girl. I do not know how much money I spent in my pooning days, but trust me... by now I could be pretty well off if I had invested it (haven't seen an SP in months, ever since I got busted doing it). I don't regret the experiences I had and the amazing sensual encounters I lived with many of these girls, I admit I was somehow delighted and hooked on the idea of being able to have sex with a very attractive girl and not have to worry about how to talk to her, or having to worry if she'd actually give me the time of day, if I was her type, etc.

I am in no way condoning the use of SPs, I think they serve a great purpose in society and it's something that just is. It exists, has existed since humanity can remember, and well... it's not going to dissapear anytime soon. I don't think seeing a call-girl, escort, masseuse, exotic dancer, etc is a bad thing at all. Some people have said it, like anything in life, if done with moderation, it's fine.

I am just seeing myself (albeit with a little different scenario) in your posting and after quite a few years of pooning, sometimes more actively than other times, I seriously think that I would have had the opportunity to develop in a more balanced way when it comes to sex. Trust me, getting laid without having to pay for it feels REALLY, REALLY good. You know it's about your personality, about you being physically attractive to someone else, and not only about your money.

I do not mean to offend you at all, I just want to extend my opinion on the matter for you to consider. I don't want you to become dependent on SPs because of your shyness. You can try them later, but make an effort to get laid without paying for it. It does not have to be a perfect woman, just someone you think is cool, intelligent and is not ugly to your eyes.
Since you are a romantic at heart, trust me, it would be VERY EASY to fall in love with a working girl, and believe me when I tell you that it will take its toll on you. You will get upset and obsessed with the girl, and that will mean paying more and more to be able to spend more time with her so you can simulate a more traditional relationship. (the non FS sessions Katlyn talks about). It's a bit sad if you ask me... I am not judging you man, I went through it myself and it would be so much healthier for you if you could develop intimacy without secrecy.
I developed a strange association between sex and secrecy, and it's not very rewarding if you ask me. I noticed that whenever I ended up going out with a girl (not an SP), I had a way of looking at sex that made me feel a bit uneasy.

Anyhow, it's just a bit of my experience and I know you're a different person and therefore you would probably fare differently in life if you were put in the same or similar situations as me, but I can't help but say be careful. Don't let a lame and painful experience with an ex GF turn you off of hooking up with a girl without having to pay for it. Oh... and try to do it without the help of the internet if you can! Meet her outside, in the real world! Don't do it exclusively on dating sites, etc. Online interactions can be quite addictive.

In an y way, best of luck and let us know what you decide! Whatever it is you choose, be conscious of your decision and do it with confidence, be assertive and enjoy it.