marriage

[Aerts]

is there any point if you don't want kids? (I don't want kids).

I always think I might find a nice intelligent divorced woman when I'm around 40ish and settle down then? Or am I dreaming? I enjoy my freedom right now too much to get married. If I want to play videogames for 4 hours on a saturday, or leave town and go work at suncor for 6 months at a time, I damn well do.

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

To be honest with you I don't think this is the best forum to be asking this question. There was another stats related thread, and I'm pretty sure this isn't a random sample you're asking this question to.

But I think the answer is pretty personal between yourself and whoever is a candidate for marriage. If she wants to get married, she may end up giving you an ultimatum and then again, she may have had a bad experience and want nothing to do with it.

 

[Fractals]

is there any point if you don't want kids? (I don't want kids).

A somewhat related question, if I may add, would be: if you guys are given the chance to get married again, would you?

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

I sort of had that question in the back of my mind when I responded, but I've been married for 16 years and it's a tough call as to whether or not I'd do it again. I have a child so I'm extremely glad about that, but absent that? hmmm..tough call.

A somewhat related question, if I may add, would be: if you guys are given the chance to get married again, would you?

 

[Miss*Bijou]

While I don't think I'm going to remarry - I would marry again if I could be returned to my 20s, probably to a different woman given what I know now.

The good outweighs the bad. We had 20 pretty good years vs only 6 poor/bad years and we made 2 really good kids.

But would not marrying have changed that?

I mean..
Is the question about marriage contract/ceremony/certificate or just about committed relationships whether there's a legal/religious ceremony or not (common law)?

Is the OP asking if a committed relationship is pointless unless he wanted to have kids?

Just curious..

 

[InTheBum]

is there any point if you don't want kids? (I don't want kids).

I always think I might find a nice intelligent divorced woman when I'm around 40ish and settle down then? Or am I dreaming? I enjoy my freedom right now too much to get married. If I want to play videogames for 4 hours on a saturday, or leave town and go work at suncor for 6 months at a time, I damn well do.

Kids is for suckers...

 

[mistressfreyja]

"Mawage"......"Have you the wing?"

Clip from the Princess Bride.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sbqv3MwwVd8

 

[picknshvl]

"Mawage"......"Have you the wing?"

Clip from the Princess Bride.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sbqv3MwwVd8

Thats one of my all time favorite movies, a classic!

 

[badbadboy]

I would live common law if you don't want kids. ( I mean unless she's loaded) Tell your partner straight up what your lifestyle is and if you don't want to compromise then just stay single and play the field. Personally, I feel getting legally married in a pain in the neck, since most (50%) of them end in divorce and because of the hassle and expense required to get out of them.

Common law relationships have virtually the same rights now as traditional marriages and have been upheld in courts. IIRC if you live with a person for a year now then any asset you got together is divisible by 50% assuming there is no pre nup involved.

If I had to do it all over again, which I won't , I would have a nice GF with their own place and she would be welcome to stay over at my place anytime. Once in a while she or I would want to do our own thing so there is another place to hang out so we wouldn't trip over each other.

Not an ad but you must love dogs

 

[mistressfreyja]

This makes more and more sense to me.

I think too many people jump into relationships to `lose`themselves. Then they do lose themselves, and then they bitch and complain and act like an ass.

What a concept to keep one`s independence, EVEN while being true to your partner.

It makes perfect financial sense to move in together, but it seems to lend itself to codependency.

Not a hint, but must have Rottweilers and an acreage 15 mins from town.

Common law relationships have virtually the same rights now as traditional marriages and have been upheld in courts. IIRC if you live with a person for a year now then any asset you got together is divisible by 50% assuming there is no pre nup involved.

If I had to do it all over again, which I won't , I would have a nice GF with their own place and she would be welcome to stay over at my place anytime. Once in a while she or I would want to do our own thing so there is another place to hang out so we wouldn't trip over each other.

Not an ad but you must love dogs

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

Depends when this happened as I believe the laws have chanced to allow more equality in this type of situation.

I know someone who's been living common law for well over 20 years and my understanding is she would be entitled to 1/2 of everything. Not that she has much to worry about anyway, because the house, which is their major asset, is in joint name.

While that may be true legally, the courts would look at who brought what into the relationship, how long they had lived together, and whether or not there are children involved. You would have to spend more than its worth to try to get half of someone's assets because you lived with them for a year.

My uncle had a common law wife of 14 years and she cheated on him and got the boot. She tried to sue him but could not afford the lawyer's fees. She got absolutely nothing. Zero. She ended up virtually broke and my uncle is very well-off. It's not the same as marriage. A wife could retain a lawyer based on a guaranteed settlement.

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

I personally think it's more the other way around. I use to have friends and family members I no longer see because my wife doesn't like them, so to me I've lost part of who I was.

This makes more and more sense to me.

I think too many people jump into relationships to `lose`themselves. Then they do lose themselves, and then they bitch and complain and act like an ass.

What a concept to keep one`s independence, EVEN while being true to your partner.

It makes perfect financial sense to move in together, but it seems to lend itself to codependency.

Not a hint, but must have Rottweilers and an acreage 15 mins from town.

 

[maroonedsailor]

Can't we just live in separate houses together? - It costs more to live that way but...........when u get tired of me at least I won't have to waste time looking and moving and .............

 

[Karl Blues]

is there any point if you don't want kids? (I don't want kids).

I always think I might find a nice intelligent divorced woman when I'm around 40ish and settle down then? Or am I dreaming? I enjoy my freedom right now too much to get married. If I want to play videogames for 4 hours on a saturday, or leave town and go work at suncor for 6 months at a time, I damn well do.

The only reason to get married is cause you WANT to. Nothing else really matters. It is not a question of logic. Marriage either works for you or it doesn't. It's worked for me, but then I have a partner that understands my need for variety and the occasional r & t, or an occasional 3-some (her included).

We didn't go into marriage knowing these things. We were married young. They just evolved over time. We have one very important reqt: 100% honesty.

 

[Sonny]

is there any point if you don't want kids? (I don't want kids).

I always think I might find a nice intelligent divorced woman when I'm around 40ish and settle down then? Or am I dreaming? I enjoy my freedom right now too much to get married. If I want to play videogames for 4 hours on a saturday, or leave town and go work at suncor for 6 months at a time, I damn well do.

The real question is why are you asking this question when you already have given your answer to it.

 

[storm rider]

The only reason to get married is cause you WANT to. Nothing else really matters. It is not a question of logic. Marriage either works for you or it doesn't. It's worked for me, but then I have a partner that understands my need for variety and the occasional r & t, or an occasional 3-some (her included).

We didn't go into marriage knowing these things. We were married young. They just evolved over time. We have one very important reqt: 100% honesty.

Damn you have a very open minded woman....be sure to get her something nice on Valentines Day

SR

 

[mistressfreyja]

You rock, Karl! And your wife rocks, too! It's neat to see a couple that grew together, instead of apart. You are VERY lucky!

The only reason to get married is cause you WANT to. Nothing else really matters. It is not a question of logic. Marriage either works for you or it doesn't. It's worked for me, but then I have a partner that understands my need for variety and the occasional r & t, or an occasional 3-some (her included).

We didn't go into marriage knowing these things. We were married young. They just evolved over time. We have one very important reqt: 100% honesty.

Ain't that the truth!

Damn you have a very open minded woman....be sure to get her something nice on Valentines Day

SR

 

[Fractals]

I'd probably get married again. I'm prone to doing stupid, crazy things when I'm in love.