don't think she's interested in owning his ass as much as she is violating itnecko said:Why settle for a few lumps when u could own his ass
don't think she's interested in owning his ass as much as she is violating itnecko said:Why settle for a few lumps when u could own his ass
That was funny, and it took brains. You should post more often.imrokhaard said:Ring…ring…
Mr. Kalel: “hello”
RBC Bank: “Mr. Kalel?”
Mr. Kalel: “yes?”
RBC Bank: “Mr. Kalel…our records indicate that you and Mrs. Kalel have been delinquent on the mortgages for both your principal residence and your rental property…”
Mr. Kalel: “…well, yes…but I couldn’t help it…I lost my job, and my mother was diagnosed with cancer…”
RBC Bank: “We understand Mr. Kalel. In this business we’ve seen numerous people find themselves in these types of unfortunate situations all the time. We completely empathize with you and we’re sorry to here about your mother. If there is anything in our power that we can do to help make your situation easier, then you and Mrs. Kalel are certainly free to ask. We are there for you.”
Mr. Kalel: “Yes…well, I haven’t been able to find employment yet. I will need your help in deferring payment on our mortgages until I find work…”
RBC Bank: “Well, Mr. Kalel…that’s why we called. As you are aware, the delinquency of these mortgages is an unacceptable situation, however, we have come up with a unique proposal that may work out for all involved. Would you be interested to hear it?
Mr. Kalel: “Well of course!!! What are you suggesting?
RBC Bank: “Well, we wouldn’t want to foreclose on your properties…particularly since you have a hundred thousand or so in equity…”
Mr. Kalel: “NO…NO…DON’T FORECLOSE…”
RBC Bank: “No, Mr. Kalel…don’t panic. You see Mr. Kalel…there is a group of us at the bank here who are closet perverts, we’ve seen you and Mrs. Kalel in at the counter a few times, and we have recognized that in order to save your properties this may be a uniquely opportune time for us to ask if you…”
Mr. Kalel: “WHAT?!?!? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING???…MY WIFE?!?!?”
RBC Bank: “Whoa…whoa….whoa…slow down a moment and give me a chance to make our full proposal, Mr. Kalel. You don’t have to worry too much about your wife – you see, there are only a few of us in here that are actually into women and the three of them are actually pretty gentle creatures…”
Mr. Kalel: “ARE YOU SAYING THAT MY WIFE HAS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU TO SAVE OUR PROPERTIES?!?!”
RBC Bank: “No Mr. Kalel, that isn’t what I was going to say. Before you cut me off, I was going to say that in order to save your RENTAL property, we would like your wife to take on the three of them at one time, maybe three or four times all told. We think that that would be fair to cover the mortgage payments missed on that property…”
Mr. Kalel: “AND YOU’D STILL TAKE OUR HOME?!?! YOU WANT US TO AGREE TO THAT AND YOU’D TAKE OUR HOME?!?! YOU DON’T HONESTLY THINK THAT…”
RBC Bank: “Well no…we’re giving you an opportunity to save your home too, Mr. Kalel. That’s where you come in. You see, we have some very well endowed, bi employees who haven’t had much success in finding men that can accommodate them…”
Mr. Kalel: “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?! YOU ARE A BANK!!!! HOW CAN…”
RBC Bank: “Don’t worry so much, Mr. Kalel. We’ve got all the bases covered to make this as workable as we possibly can. We recognize that you might not normally partake in this activity. Therefore, we’ve even approached the services of a provider who will help us ease you into things. Anita has a lot of experience with first-timers, and we’ve asked if she can bring us a number of toy aids that will allow us to graduate you to a point where you can easily accommodate our very large boys here. She even said that she can bring in her special occasion 400 cubic inch, 240 horsepower, 440 pound feet of torque, gas-powered ASS HAMMER with the GI Joe Kung Fu Grip…”
Mr. Kalel: “YOU’RE A BANK…HOW CAN YOU GUYS EVEN DREAM OF MAKING A PROPOSAL LIKE THIS?!?!?”
RBC Bank: “Well, as luck would have it…one of the boys is a member of PERB, and he saw a topic on the board that you replied to that was very similar to our situation here. He kinda figured that you might be open to this kind of suggestion…”
Mr. Kalel: “OK, OK, OK…I’ll approach my wife then!?!? I guess I don’t have much choice…”
RBC Bank: “No you don’t, Mr. Kalel” (dude turns to the boys and gives them the thumbs up)
Mr. Kalel: “When do you need to know?”
RBC Bank: “Come by the branch this afternoon. We’ll be waiting anxiously”
Mr. Kalel: “Is that it?”
RBC Bank: “Oh, yeah…one other thing. Don’t forget to bring a picture of your son. He’s kinda cute too. And thank you for your business, Mr. Kalel. We do really appreciate your patronage and we are glad that we have been able to offer you a proposal that may help your family out of this rather unfortunate situation. We do think of our organization as being a foundation of a healthy community. Take care and see you later!”
I have to agree with GBM on this one. This was one of the best posts I've read in a while. Whether or not you agree with the author, it's witty, articulate and follows a developing theme.georgebushmoron said:That was funny, and it took brains. You should post more often.
guess again. think closer to surgery.imrokhaard said:Let me guess...you're a...PSYCHOLOGIST?!?! PSYCHOTHERAPIST?!?! I KNOW, YOUR A PEDIATRICIAN!!!! THAT'S IT!!
You sound like an absolutely wonderful person to know. I'm so distraught that I don't.kalel said:and btw, i've gotten away with ALOT in my life. probably because i just want it more than the next person, but most likely because i'd rather win at any cost than to be like you and have an excuse for losing.
It must be very comforting to be so certain that you know what it means to "win". But, what if "winning" isn't the end result, but rather the experiences you rack up in the process? What then? Who's the "loser" then?kalel said:guess again. think closer to surgery.
and btw, i've gotten away with ALOT in my life. probably because i just want it more than the next person, but most likely because i'd rather win at any cost than to be like you and have an excuse for losing.
Really bad idea on so many levels! If she's behind in her bills, she's probably a little lost and unstable. Her approaching you is one thing, but approaching a young girl under undoubtable duress is highly risky "come back and bite you in the ass" behavior my friend...mustangjoe said:So I have a tenant in a rental property of mine and her Nov 1st rent cheque bounced. Now this chick is smokin' hot. (I'm a perv, and I only rent this place out to hot chicks, lol) So being the perv that I am, I want to fuck her a few times in lieu of getting paid. How do you suppose I go about bringing this proposal up without being kicked in the groin or getting sued for sexual harassment?
If the "dame" was happy to have sex with him, if she's mature and has her act together, then she'll bring it up. She doesn't have to wait for him to bring it up. The guy bringing it up would be interpreted by most civilian women as a threat and, I suspect, by many sp's as a threat as well. Given that the landlord has the key to her apartment, the "offer" of having sex with her is not something to take lightly. Its intimidating, scary and just plain wrong to even suggest it, as the kind of guy who would be crass enough to suggest it under those circumstances is also the kind who would break into her place to do what he wants anyway. Or at least that's how many of us females would see it. So, if you want to scare her into having to find another place that very night to stay cause she's worried your going to come arond and rape her, go ahead and ask. (I think the OP knew this already, that's why he raised the question rather than just doing it)lenny said:What if the dame would be happy to have sex with him for the rent?
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I really like your name sweetiepie(it sounds very pieish)Your right on the money on this oneSweetiepie said:If the "dame" was happy to have sex with him, if she's mature and has her act together, then she'll bring it up. She doesn't have to wait for him to bring it up. The guy bringing it up would be interpreted by most civilian women as a threat and, I suspect, by many sp's as a threat as well. Given that the landlord has the key to her apartment, the "offer" of having sex with her is not something to take lightly. Its intimidating, scary and just plain wrong to even suggest it, as the kind of guy who would be crass enough to suggest it under those circumstances is also the kind who would break into her place to do what he wants anyway. Or at least that's how many of us females would see it. So, if you want to scare her into having to find another place that very night to stay cause she's worried your going to come arond and rape her, go ahead and ask. (I think the OP knew this already, that's why he raised the question rather than just doing it)
you seem to forget that winning doesn't have to be just me. winning for me also includes saving lives, and helping family. sometimes teaching a patient to cope without medicine or chemicals is winning for me. sometimes winning means throwing out the rulebook instead of following it in order to ensure the patients best interest. i just have very little tolerance for those who don't want to help themselves.JustAGuy said:You sound like an absolutely wonderful person to know. I'm so distraught that I don't.Oh, and a great role model too. Don't let me forget to mention that. And when you're on your deathbed, you'll be able to proudly think back on all the people you screwed along the way and chant to yourself "I won! I won! I'm a winner!". I'm sure it will be comforting to you.
I'd bet otherwise. Much more likely she'd be too shy to make the first move,Sweetiepie said:If the "dame" was happy to have sex with him, if she's mature and has her act together, then she'll bring it up.
If she can stay a couple of months, she'll be the new owner. It would be cheaper to give Ava or Julia a call.lenny said:p.s. if the above strategy fails, & she is Blond, go to Plan B.
Invite her to move in with you, till she gets on her feet.





