Here it is : STUPID PET TRICKS and Stories

[shedevil]

Okay, I have covered the "I am watching you" one.

~The fence mind fuck!~

I also had a ongoing battle with my beast for a while about getting to the other side of the fence. I had a cord holding it because when I moved in it didn't close.

He constantly got stuck on the other side... Until one day...

I finally went outside totally exasperated with him. Low and behold, I go out and just as I am turning the corner, I see him open the fence from the outside and let himself back in.

How long had he known this for?

~The poll mind fuck!~

Another thing he does is get himself around polls. Well, I did teach him to "Go Around". He automatically goes clockwise. Now, if he is going the wrong way, I say "Other way" and he does.

~My dog, the Semi Truck~

At 70 Kilos and 5'9 on his hind legs, he is a lot to deal with.

I have taught him with hand signals as well as voice to:

-Stop
-Sit
-Down
-Back up
-Turn ( He automatically goes to the left or follows the sidewalk.)

"What did I just say?" is another one.

Example, give him a command, doesn't listen. "What did I just say?"

He does it without me repeating the initial command.

~The sneak~

I have a roomate for a bit. So, she doesn't live with a dog and left food out. 2 muffins in a plastic pastry container, right?

Came home, she was working. I see out of the coner of my eye, that he has hidden it, closed, with one muffin saved. One he ate.

I will add to this some more tomorrow. I have a cat too.

SD

 

[50 Mile Radius]

Those are great!

I'll have to think of some of the things my dogs have done....hmmm


Ok, well, maybe not tricks but things they do to make us laugh....

 

[Sexy BBW]

The only thing that comes to my mind that my cat Tager did, is this:

Brother is calling my cat to jump up on his bed. Bed is a good four,five feet off the ground. Guess Tager miss judged the hight, he aimed to jump but instead he hit his head on the bottom of the bed and fell down lmfao

Good one to start up SD

 

[shedevil]

The Black Cherry incident

My dog was originally my mother's and when he was young, we left him alone.

Idle time is the devil's plaything...

We used to just keep 2 litres of pop near the fridge.

We came back and we could smell was Black Cherry.

What did he do? He actually twisted off the lid to the pop bottle. All over my mom's queen sized water bed.

All we could smell was black cherry...

We got in, and he was slurping as fast as he could. He has a sweet tooth. Anything berry flavored. He has eaten lip gloss, Halls (the cough candy),
He also enjoys grapes and pineapple.

Cries for milk.

As a pup, he was funnier. Took him for his first run.

Just like the cartoon's. He builds up speed, he's going....

Faster...

He trips over his feet and literally goes in a circle. I laughed so hard because he was so clumsy at that point. It did take about 2 years for him to shake the clutz.

SD

 

[Sexy BBW]

My dog was originally my mother's and when he was young, we left him alone.

Idle time is the devil's plaything...

We used to just keep 2 litres of pop near the fridge.

We came back and we could smell was Black Cherry.

What did he do? He actually twisted off the lid to the pop bottle. All over my mom's queen sized water bed.

All we could smell was black cherry...

We got in, and he was slurping as fast as he could. He has a sweet tooth. Anything berry flavored. He has eaten lip gloss, Halls (the cough candy),
He also enjoys grapes and pineapple.

Cries for milk.

As a pup, he was funnier. Took him for his first run.

Just like the cartoon's. He builds up speed, he's going....

Faster...

He trips over his feet and literally goes in a circle. I laughed so hard because he was so clumsy at that point. It did take about 2 years for him to shake the clutz.

SD

Oh yah, Christmas one year my cat had tore open my dads gloves that where nicely wrapped, was playing with them, the damn things where near the catnip under the tree

 

[shedevil]

Cat Story~ An odd tale

Once upon a time, when I first moved out on my own, I was 17 in the summer of 1998.

I ended up dropping mushrooms with my best friend and boyfriend at the time.

Nearing the end of it, late at night, with a thunderstorm, the power went out.

My friend is in the hallway freaking out "What's going on?"

All of a sudden, I hear my cat come in.

He knocked something over. Now, he never does so this was odd.

My boyfriend turns and says, "He's got something"...

Now, what I wonder?

A rabbit, half dead.

Brought it in half dead and it's the last thing that I could handle was this.

I was freaked out and I had real hard time falling asleep that night.

An experienced hunter he is. At 10 now, he still manages to surprise me and still at the top of his game in shaking down the neighbourhood.

He is king.

SD

 

[bedtime4bonzo]

my contributions

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My supervisor at work had a HUGE rottweiler that she had to carry up and down the stairs. It would absolutely WOULD NOT climb up or down the stairs.

========================
My aunt's collie was terrified of linoleum and would only eat dinner in the carpeted living room. Nobody could figure out why it was like that.

========================
I'm living with my aunt and my cousin and we are having dinner in front of the TV. They have a cat named Henry who is super smart.

For no apparent reason my cousin starts singing "Silent Night, Holy Night ..." (its october)

Next thing you know Henry the super cat comes in. He grabs an incredibly worn out stuffed toy frog and starts fucking it on the stairs. Its going mroooooow mroooooooooooooooooooooooooooow while I'm sitting there with my mouth hanging open. It finally finishes mauling the poor frog and drags it back into the rec room and sits down like nothing special just happened.

========================
I remember maxine trained her cat to use a leash and she would take it out for walks on Hastings Street.

(Maxine: sw who used to work low track in the late 90s gorgeous older woman, slender with long greying hair used to have to take heroin every 4 hours or she would be completely incapacitated).

 

[bedtime4bonzo]

more ...

========================
Cats and a certain substance that you used to be able to get from Sandoz labs in Switzerland in the 50s and 60s. I had accidentally ingested a rather large quantity of this substance one evening and was lying on my bed minding my own business. Next thing you know the cat (not Henry this time) is writhing on the bed going completely nuts. It was ramming its head into my armpit over and over again as it rolled around. However, the most irritating thing was its mental presence which felt like what chewing on a thistle might be like. I eventually just dumped it outside and it calmed down and left me alone.

My friend was there and didn't believe me until almost exactly the same thing happened to him on another night.

BTW this cat was not particularly violent normally. Usually it would sit on the radiator. It loved sleeping in the hair of one of my housemate's. This cat just showed up at our house after a party and took over.

over and out.

 

[Sexy BBW]

========================
Cats and a certain substance that you used to be able to get from Sandoz labs in Switzerland in the 50s and 60s. I had accidentally ingested a rather large quantity of this substance one evening and was lying on my bed minding my own business. Next thing you know the cat (not Henry this time) is writhing on the bed going completely nuts. It was ramming its head into my armpit over and over again as it rolled around. However, the most irritating thing was its mental presence which felt like what chewing on a thistle might be like. I eventually just dumped it outside and it calmed down and left me alone.

My friend was there and didn't believe me until almost exactly the same thing happened to him on another night.

BTW this cat was not particularly violent normally. Usually it would sit on the radiator. It loved sleeping in the hair of one of my housemate's. This cat just showed up at our house after a party and took over.

over and out.

Those are some great Cat stories you are telling, the guy that once delt with at Ikea in Coquitlam was telling me how his Cat was hunting frogs, funniest shit I ever heard. I think his name is RJ, works in the self serve. Nicest guy there

 

[bedtime4bonzo]

Actually I forgot some

===================
my first cat "Tommy" was huge and would stare down dogs 2x its size.

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my neighbour across the street growning up had a cat that got addicted to eating rubber stoppers and would jump your leg for no reason.

===================
William Burroughs' "The Cat Inside" is a great book if you are a cat fan. Pierre Burton also wrote a pretty enjoyable book about the cats in his life.

 

[souljacker]

When I was growing up I had several cats. One time a rottweiller spotted one of them from the street, and ran into our yard to chase it. Unfortunately for the dog, it ran right past the back porch. One of my other cats happened to be on the back porch watching. This cat, named after a notorious medieval warlord, was VERY territorial, and was clearly NOT happy to have this strange dog running around HIS property, chasing one of HIS friends.

To make a long story short, the dog ended up with my cat's rear claws firmly lodged into the back of its neck, while his front claws repeatedly tore strips out of its head and snout. The rottweiller ran away yelping and whining, and my cat calmly hopped off at the edge of the yard... The dog never came back.

 

[SoftHandsAnne]

We had a quiet little cat named Fluffy (hey, I was very young when I named her...) back in the mid 70's. One night, she went into my parents' bedroom just meowing and meowing, wouldn't be quiet, finally, my mother got up, Fluffy darted to my baby brother's room door, meowed some more, waiting for my mom to follow - took my mom straight to my brother's crib...

My baby brother managed to get his head through the bars (remember... 70's... before rules of spacing...) and was stuck with his head hanging over the edge. Fluffy could have very well saved my little (now 6'3") brother's life...

 

[ScottyTwoHotty]

I wish I had something to contribute to this thread. However, growing up, the only animals we ever had only knew how to fuck pillows and legs.
Everything had to be plastic wrapped or put up high.

 

[Sexy BBW]

I wish I had something to contribute to this thread. However, growing up, the only animals we ever had only knew how to fuck pillows and legs.
Everything had to be plastic wrapped or put up high.

Sounds like you had a rather deprived childhood, lol damn huh! Gotta get something better then your pet rock