Donations Etiquette

[LVince]

New here, to the forum and hobby,
Thanks mods for fostering a great community. I hope The Lounge is an appropriate forum to ask about donation etiquette.
I'm wondering if a tip above the agreed upon donation is generally expected, if so is there a standard amount or percentage, and is failure to tip frowned upon or likely to make future appointments less likely?
If it depends on the situation any info is appreciated.
Searching "etiquette" brought up nothing. In before "this has been asked a million times" comes up, my apologies if that is the case but I did search and could not find a direct answer.
Cheers

 

[Big Dick Bob]

You don't have to tip, but it's a nice thing to do if she's gone above and beyond to show you a good time.

 

[Banged_Up]

On different levels this has been asked and answered in different ways.
This is my perspective…
Regulars get an extra $20-40 depending on my mood and their service. I only do 1 hour sessions.
Big splurge encounters ($500 an hour plus) get an extra $50, if they deserve it.
If the price going in is say $180, I cough up the extra $20, the first time. If the service isn’t good, next time I get the change. Not a common one because if the service isn’t good I don’t go back.
So their “expectations” are irrelevant. Service pays. Good service gets good tips, bad or mediocre service gets bupkiss.
“Tips” means literally To Insure Prompt Service.
“Donation” is a euphemism for price. Tip is not an upgrade, an upgrade is an upgrade or upsell. So if it’s $160 + $40 for BBBJ then I tip on $200. A $40 tip is appropriate, but if someone tells you after that they “expect” a tip, you are free to tell them to pound sand.

 

[Harmony-bc]

From a providers perspective:

I charge the rates I’m comfortable charging. When I worked parlors and agencies, great tippers were definitely appreciated. Fees are so high in some of those places. As an independent, my over head is relatively low. Life is just expensive in this city no matter what.
I don’t expect tips. But I definitely notice and appreciate them. They don’t guarantee better service because I pride myself on a certain level of service. But I definitely appreciate a nice tip. Probably about 10% tip generously. Probably about 40% tip in general. Thank you for checking the etiquette. That’s awesome 💕

 

[PuntMeister]

Yes, nice respectful and inquisive post bu the OP. Welcome. Nicely done.

My feeling is that this hobby can get you jaded quickly. A few bad bookings, a scam or too. Sigh.

That said, when Punt walks up to a new door (or buzz-in), his envelope automatically contains an extra $20-$40. Pay it forward. On spec. I did my homework, I accept the results. Which shall not impinge on my sense of what it means to be a gentleman.

Stellar service gets an additional rewards and repeats. Scum service gets nothing more (image Poe’s raven quothing “Nothing More”. Lol. Fitting, cuz nevermore will be the reality after scum service.

I choose to play in a positive mindset, and adjust accordingly. Hope that helps…

 

[rinamood]

Failure to tip is not frowned upon, except maybe by the very few. It's the default - simply the monetary portion out of the way.

Personality & pleasantness goes a lot way in contributing to our emotional sustainability working in this industry, and a tip offers different perks or additional tolerance for different humans sometimes (YMMV).

Personally, I prefer initial tip or gift > leaving tip, but a good portion of clients who do an initial tip also give me a leaving tip 💸 ✨

 

[vanperb]

Failure to tip is not frowned upon, except maybe by the very few.

But oh what a vocal few...
I tipped a provider who immediately after gave me a look of surprised disappointment.

 

[rinamood]

But oh what a vocal few...
I tipped a provider who immediately after gave me a look of surprised disappointment.

Better to hear/see their lack of decorum sooner rather than later so you can make a decision from there 👀 That kind of behaviour from them is appalling to me

 

[80watts]

I don't get it.... During FS the sex worker is always getting the tip.... If she smiles she likes the tip.

 

[Big Dick Bob]

I don't get it.... During FS the sex worker is always getting the tip.... If she smiles she likes the tip.

Sometimes it's more than just the tip.

 

[RedDragon64]

I've been a client for over 30 years and I don't ever recall seeing a provider where a tip appeared to be expected. However in my experience tips have nearly always been appreciated.

I try to bring small gifts and unique snacks to help start the booking off on a good note. I also tend to do longer bookings of 2-3 hours with mid to higher priced providers, so if I do tip it is usually in the $50 to $100 range. Not huge (especially compared to the food service industry), but certainly a nice topup to the booking fee.

 

[LVince]

Thanks for all the responses, it's great to hear from both sides of the transaction. Whatever consensus can be drawn seems to align with the legal standard of what a "reasonable person" would do. Are you all telling me that common norms and typical human nature still apply to this particular industry? How could I have ever guessed...

Thanks again!

 

[Pppaolo]

Failure to tip is not frowned upon, except maybe by the very few. It's the default - simply the monetary portion out of the way.

Personality & pleasantness goes a lot way in contributing to our emotional sustainability working in this industry, and a tip offers different perks or additional tolerance for different humans sometimes (YMMV).

Personally, I prefer initial tip or gift > leaving tip, but a good portion of clients who do an initial tip also give me a leaving tip 💸 ✨

Q: In my 3 bookings last week, I did not tip any of the 3... however in all 3 cases I included an extra $150-200 with the deposit intended to be used on an outfit to model for me. As an SP, would you consider this acceptable in lieu of the tip (which I completely spaced).

 

[rinamood]

Q: In my 3 bookings last week, I did not tip any of the 3... however in all 3 cases I included an extra $150-200 with the deposit intended to be used on an outfit to model for me. As an SP, would you consider this acceptable in lieu of the tip (which I completely spaced).

A gift is not a tip, especially because the item is purchased for you to see them in. I would consider it part of the service (like paying for an extra) and as a gift, but not a tip because you can't tip a barista with a dress you want to see them in! Could it motivate someone in YMMV and/or increased tolerance? Possibly 🍀

 

[lukom]

Tipping is very personal. Sex work is the only type of work in the "service industry" where the pricing model is determined by the service provider in a way that covers all their time, expenses and personal return on their time. You don't get paid to drive into work, you don't get paid by your employer for utilizing your home space to work from home. Escorts rates are determined by what it costs them to have an incall space, their time to get ready for you, their personal upkeep, outfits even, among other things. Outcall rates are higher as this now requires more time on their part to accommodate you. Tips in the general service industry are sadly designed to supplement the insufficient income by their employers. Having said that, if a girl charges $300, and she offers a deal of $500 for two hours (for example) as it means one less client she has to prepare for, I'll still give her $600 up front at the start. Most times an SP will notice that and say that I overpaid them (which tells you she's honest), and you tell them to count it as a tip. Tips are personal otherwise. I sent a lady Uber eats after our session once from a specific place I recommended that she mentioned she was interested in trying (gave her a heads up of course) and she was thrilled, cause girls still need to eat and have a break. Ive also brought gift cards, cause they may mention on their site they have a preference for certain brand names or even cuisines they like most. Generally though if you are on a firm budget and can't afford the extra costs of tipping, just come through on the bare minimum, show up on time, be polite, take a thorough shower, floss and brush prior to showing up if you can and don't eat smelly food before going over, and have your full payment owing. Be mindful of your time and allocate enough time to take a shower before leaving at the end. Send a thank you text to the lady upon leaving and if you would see her again, ask her if she would be okay with seeing you again also for another session.

 

[Pppaolo]

A gift is not a tip, especially because the item is purchased for you to see them in. I would consider it part of the service (like paying for an extra) and as a gift, but not a tip because you can't tip a barista with a dress you want to see them in! Could it motivate someone in YMMV and/or increased tolerance? Possibly 🍀

thanks! Rectified

 

[lukom]

A gift is not a tip, especially because the item is purchased for you to see them in. I would consider it part of the service (like paying for an extra) and as a gift, but not a tip because you can't tip a barista with a dress you want to see them in! Could it motivate someone in YMMV and/or increased tolerance? Possibly 🍀

Gifts I would argue are a grey area. I'm coming here with the perspective as someone who also has had jobs where tips were necessary in supplementing my income at certain pointa of my life. A gift is subjective to how the recipient perceives it. I'm sure if a Barista has a tip jar saying "Backpacking Trip to Europe Fund" (where I list the amount it costs for the trip, my budget, along with provisions for the road), and if someone comes and gifts me a backpack then I would have been stoked to receive that, or like a gift card to Eurail pass, then that's one thing I can cross off things I'll need to get when I'm there (hypothetically). Many also have wish lists, which if a client purchases something from a person's wish list, while yes, a gift, it still counts as a form of gratuity and especially something the recipient specifically asked for. The dress gifted may also be one that a worker never had before, versus having it already and it being available as part of an outfit request option for all clients. So I'd say not to dismiss gifts if they are on the wishlist, but if it's for my own personal pleasure that I gifted an outfit and it also wasn't on a wishlist then I say it's completely dismissed as a tip. If it's on a wishlist andim rewarded for buying it by being the first to see her in it, then that's a whole other thing. Not that I would ever expect that.

 

[rinamood]

Gifts I would argue are a grey area. I'm coming here with the perspective as someone who also has had jobs where tips were necessary in supplementing my income at certain pointa of my life. A gift is subjective to how the recipient perceives it. I'm sure if a Barista has a tip jar saying "Backpacking Trip to Europe Fund" (where I list the amount it costs for the trip, my budget, along with provisions for the road), and if someone comes and gifts me a backpack then I would have been stoked to receive that, or like a gift card to Eurail pass, then that's one thing I can cross off things I'll need to get when I'm there (hypothetically). Many also have wish lists, which if a client purchases something from a person's wish list, while yes, a gift, it still counts as a form of gratuity and especially something the recipient specifically asked for. The dress gifted may also be one that a worker never had before, versus having it already and it being available as part of an outfit request option for all clients. So I'd say not to dismiss gifts if they are on the wishlist, but if it's for my own personal pleasure that I gifted an outfit and it also wasn't on a wishlist then I say it's completely dismissed as a tip. If it's on a wishlist andim rewarded for buying it by being the first to see her in it, then that's a whole other thing. Not that I would ever expect that.

I agree that gifts are in a grey area! No argument here. They aren't exactly a tip, but they can still be motivators towards best attitude and continued accumulation of chemistry 💐 I take very clear note of gift-givers and tippers since both give me happiness and encourage me to keep enjoying what I do 🥰

 

[lukom]

I agree that gifts are in a grey area! No argument here. They aren't exactly a tip, but they can still be motivators towards best attitude and continued accumulation of chemistry 💐 I take very clear note of gift-givers and tippers since both give me happiness and encourage me to keep enjoying what I do 🥰

And of course, let me add that the two are not mutually exclusive either, both can be "gifted". Bottle of wine of choice at the beginning, plus extra cash at the end.

 

[ExpCharlee]

If you don’t bring me a bouquet of flowers made from $100 bills as a tip, I’m stealing your wife.