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I thought there was a post on this subject but I couldn't find it, so I had to post the latest shitism from last nights Trailer Park Boys... "Sometimes it's easier to watch the shit tree grow, then to try to shake the shit fruit out of it." Lmao! :D

Received from my phone girl via email "Make sure you read the very last one . . . Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread...

A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and...

Otherwise known as the "who wants to strip for my friends stagette next Thursday night" thread. (May 5) I'd really prefer to hire a semi-professional, who can at least dance, but really the chance to embarrass her is worth anything so I will consider an amateur! We're getting a limo so it...

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? (I...

It's been over 3 months now, so we should be well on our way to our goals, right?? :eek: :D :rolleyes: :cool: Normally I forget what mine was by the next morning but this year I made a general one that I called "self improvement" and to my surprise I am still sticking with it... I...

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes -- $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS...

More email junk but interesting stuff... 1. The garden of Eden was in Iraq. 2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization! 3. Noah built the ark in Iraq. 4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq. 5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq! 6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from...

It's called "kissable" by L'Oreal and the commercial was very convincing in that it uses "tattoo technology" to stay on. Milla Jovovich is kissing a hot guy and runs her lips over the lapel of his white shirt and nothing comes off! It would be super handy for SP's and safe for clients...

Ok ok I admit it's lymphoma (lymphatic cancer) in ferrets, but I figure any info is better than none.... So my ferret was recently diagnosed with it, and I was told it is terminal and there is no cure but nothing else. ($45 only gets you a diagnosis apparently.) So now I have no idea how to...

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? 1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years. 4. People do not get...

if we had pubs this cool! :D :cool: The Centrum Rezydent Edited to add, Damn why won't the image appear? here's a shot that will work but is blurry Located in Sopot, Germany.

Will they think of everything? The site selling them even has the quotes the doll says...pretty funny. Ooops there's a George W one too here. And of all people..a Dennis Miller one.

My phone girl has me on her mass mailing list but does send a few good jokes. So here goes...Joke #1 A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the...

is totally cracking me up!! I have only seen it twice and it's long enough to seem like 2. The old lady who says "I said 'fuck' today, thanks Showcase!" is brilliant! Other lines are from 2 women "we traded husbands, thanks Showcase" or the older couple in bed who say "we use 'showcase' as a...

Acording to a guy in Edmonton, the rule is paying the girl at the end. I'd like to find out if this differs across the country, so if everyone would be so kind as to cast their vote, the more votes, the more accurate the poll. Thanks.

I saw it on CSI where a rapist only left pre-cum and it was impossible to get DNA from due to pre-cum having no spermazoa. Just wondering if this is true, as I had previously thought otherwise. I trust CSI even though it's fictional and I do believe the science is based on truth. Any takers?

The test I will apparently live to be 94.4 years old. I did learn that green or black tea contains a powerful class of antioxidants known as polyphenols which are anti-oxidants.

It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now no one had made a scientific study of the calories burned in different sexual activities. Now, after original and proprietary research, we have the facts. REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her...

I usually can solve them 90% of the time, sometimes it takes a second go, but this one I tried 10 different ways, 10+ different times to solve it and I'm stumped!! It's Number 598! It's the freecell challenge! Wheee. Lol. Whoever solves it will have my undying respect, but you have to tell...